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That's right, bitches. I moved to Chicago.

What can I say about The Cuts that hasn't already been said about Styx? Arena rock is for arenas. Hence the name. Please don't think you can go on tour with The Black Keys and expect a good reception. Musically, they blended their influences of The Ramones, Styx, Bob Seger, Rush, Foreigner into one shitty, trite bundle that caused multiple people to heckle them gratuitously. Since it was a late show at The Metro, it was mostly a bar rock crowd who just showed up to drink and listen to bands no matter what they played, so there were a few thirty year olds who dug it. I guess I can sum it up best with the comments made by two young ladies that my friends and I overheard when we were leaving the club, paraphrased here.

Girl 1: "Yeah, I hate the fact that these skeezy guys in scenester bands will come up and talk to you and think that you want to talk to them just because they're in a band."

Girl 2: "I know, it's like, brush your teeth or something."

Matt: "So did that happen tonight?"

Girl 1: "Yeah, a guy came up to us and we were like, 'What do you think of that first band?' 'Oh, they sucked.' And it was the singer from the first band, and he was like, 'Yeah, we did.' And just walked away."

So, in conclusion, if you're in your thirties, like Styx, dress like Jimmy Page, and want to start a band: don't. Just fucking don't.

The Black Keys took the stage at 11:30 and proceeded to rock us for over an hour. I have to admit, I'm not familiar with Thickfreakness, but after that show, I want to be. Most of you will remember my recent Rubber Factory review (because all of you hunt down my reviews and keep yourself updated, whether you're a loyal fan [which all of you should be] or even a hated enemy [which is fine too, as long as you read what I write]) and know that I'm a fan of these Ohio bluesmen. But I had no idea what I was in for when I would see them play live. Not only was Patrick smashing out all the drum parts harder than I've ever seen anyone drum (and I've seen Akimbo twice), but Dan's guitar licks were hot and flying all over the map, bringing his blend of electric fuzz through classic jazz riffs. They had the entire place screaming and cheering and singling along. They had multiple people exploding and screaming loudly, perhaps to some existential deity, "How do they rock so hard?" Sometimes I ponder that question myself, but then I realized that thinking is for nerds

If you didn't believe my CD review, then maybe you'll believe my show review. If you didn't like their CD, maybe you'll love their show. Go experience it now, before they get huge and don't play small venues anymore.



People who liked this also liked:
Akimbo - City Of The StarsThe Icarus Line - Penance SoireeThe Velvet Underground - The Velvet UndergroundAnimal Collective - Sung TongsLords - SwordsBrian Costello - The Enchanters vs. Sprawlburg Springs [book]Akimbo - Forging Steel and Laying StoneThe Sword - Age of WintersMaritime - We, The VehiclesCougars - Pillow Talk



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    Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 7:15 AM (EST)
    My Score:

    who the fuck is this idiot talking shit about the cuts? man, you wouldn't know fucking rock n roll if it sucked your dick you fucking stevie ray vaughn loving piece of shit motherfucker!!! aka black keys loving dirtbag bro piece of shit!!! go back to the frat and shit the stupidity out of your ass! cunt!

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 24, 2004 at 12:58 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
    "Punk News" ha ha ha.
    Shut up!
    The Cuts' militant skinhead following is gonna beat your ass.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 5:17 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    epitaph should follow the name of that label...go to your grave

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 5:14 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Listen to more bland emo pop and pretend you like R&B....slob.
    CUTS ARE "IT".

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 5:11 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    y'all are hella stupid. Wouldn't know a real rockn roll band if they kicked your ass, which they will.
    get a record collection, faker.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 5:08 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Listen Madam,
    It's not like we really expect a bunch of terminal cases with baseball-itis to understand our music. Not to say that we didn't enjoy playing to a large amount of people. We just want you rectangles to groove on something different. If a boot party is necessary, so be it. But we believe in Rock 'n' Roll as a linear tradition. Easy to take the piss out of? Don't get me started. If you require a lowest common dominatrix (sic) to make decisions for you (MTV, etc) that's a shame, but unavoidable, apparently.
    Anyway, we love you for your participation, just keep your ears open.
    Love love love,
    Dan & Andy from THE CUTS

    Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, October 14, 2004 at 7:01 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    since the only thing you can compare the cuts to is styx, bob seger, rush and foreigner its obvious that your just another one of those ignorant people that knows nothing about music.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 3, 2004 at 8:37 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    This review blows. Stay in Chicago.

    Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, September 30, 2004 at 7:09 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    ROCKIN' WITH DADDYIO!

    Whatever. Most 40 music fans know more than a thousand Pitchfork staffers combined in one pancake blanket.

    -BSD

    Posted by gladimnotemo on 2004-09-28 22:30:11
    My Score:

    I'm going to the Cleveland show, on Saturday, the 9th.

    with my dad.

    it's going to be......amazing.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 9:50 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Check out www.purevolume.com/motorfalcon, its funny how this fucking website erase it if you try and advertise your bands. Not very punk rock

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 8:32 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Not familiar with Thickfreakness huh?

    I second the "fucking tool" comment.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 8:32 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Wow way to talk about yourself and the opening band more than the actual headliners. Fucking tool.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 8:31 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    I saw this show in Minneap. The Keys were way better than this review would lead you to believe

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 8:08 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    They wouldn't keep hitting on them if all of the scenester 15 year olds weren't such sluts.

    -BSD

    Posted by TheOnetrueBill on 2004-09-28 20:00:03
    My Score:

    Jesse, let me welcome you to my fine city.

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