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Coyote Shivers

Gives It To Ya Twice
2004
Foodchain

Coyote Shivers - Gives It To Ya Twice (Cover Artwork)

Review by: Jesse
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Visual Interpretation of Coyote Shivers' Music (link)

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Published on October 15th 2004

This is such a trainwreck, I don't even know where to start. How about I start with this: SINGING WITH A FORCED TWANG TO YOUR VOICE DOESN'T MAKE YOU A PART OF ROCK N' ROLL. Ughh.

This is a double disc release, intended I guess to guarantee mental anguish in case just sending one CD didn't do the trick. I guess he's releasing both CDs separately. I can tell you off the bat that neither is worth purchasing, and I haven't even heard the acoustic one yet. He even has the fucking GALL to rip-off Lou Reed by using the line "all the colored girls sang-do dodo do do dodo do." That's right. You can't write intelligible songs, so you cash in on the fame of rock n' roll stars. Stop ripping off the Ramones. Go home, and fulfill your secret jealousy of Kurt Cobain. Think I'm being harsh? Wrong again. I'm just referring to the distasteful line in the SAME damn song in which he rips off Lou Reed where he says, "I want to blow out the candle, I want to blow out my brain, I'm secretly jealous of Kurt Cobain." JUST DO IT. YOU DON'T NEED OUR PERMISSION. He talks about drugs a lot, but I bet he's scared to even down an Advil.

I only listened to three songs on that first disc. Here comes the acoustic one. Holy fucking shit. Remember that song "Sugarhigh" from Empire Records? You know, where Reneé "Lemon-face" Zellweger sings with that weirdo loser on top of the building? Yeah, I guess that was this dude. There's an acoustic version of the song on here. What a fucking tool.

My favorite part of this release was the "Legal Notice" sticker. I'll quote it for you: "This CD is property of Foodchain Records and must be returned upon demand. It is licensed for promotional use only and has not been sold. Any sale or transfer of this CD is prohibited without consent of Foodchain Records. Use or retention of this CD signifies acceptance of this license." So naturally, I peeled it off. Who the fuck puts that on a sticker? Oh, but I was foiled! When you peel the sticker off, it leaves a residue that says "VOID" all over where the sticker was. Too bad I effortlessly scraped it off with my thumbnail. You think if I say "This song was in Empire Records," that the record store will give me more money when I sell it?

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 at 9:56 PM (EST)

One year later, BIGGEST FAGGOT EVER!

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 3:32 PM (EST)
My Score:

This guy is still a faggot.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, October 25, 2004 at 3:04 AM (EDT)
My Score:

This guy is a faggot.

Posted by TheOneTrueBill on 2004-10-22 03:26:54
My Score:

awwwww, such love.

Posted by jacobe on 2004-10-19 14:11:59
My Score:

I'm not a name caller in the least and I also wish the other visitors of this site was above it.

I will check out some of your other reviewst, but i was going just by what I was reading at that moment. I was just taken back too see the staff icon next to that review.

This album is actually a compilation of prior work. The song that you mentioned with the Lou Reed line is actually from something he released in the mid-90's. I doubt he is trying to make it "big" with the song or any of his songs for that matter.

Once again, not a fan or saying the album is good, but it's untrue to say he is using it to further his career.

Press sheets are bullshit, period. I've worked in record stores for about 8 years now and almost everyone of them finds one detail to hang on, usually something that will catch the readers attention, in this case it was his semi-fame of being in a cult movie. Lot's of labels do the same thing with stickers on the front of CDs.

take care.

Posted by Jesse on 2004-10-19 13:49:48
My Score:

Wow, you didn't even call me a douche once, honestly, I'm surprised by your lack of idiocy, normally people just call me a douchebag or a fag so I don't warrant actual responses.

Okay, I'll drop the act and give you an actual response because you are well orated. In case you didn't notice, but when I review records, it's generally a bunch of shite that got sent to me because nobody else would review it. I've written 78 reviews since I became a reviewer less than a year ago, and I have to say that not all of them get as much attention that maybe they deserved. When I write a review, I write what's on my mind. It's the only way to survive these shitty CDs. Not all my reviews are this terrible. I do admit, I didn't describe the sound very in depth, but there was nothing in depth to write about. It really just sounds like the Ramones with twangy vocals.

I'm not against bands paying tribute by using lines from others, i.e., Mos Def in his song 'Love" references "Kool Keith," and it's very effective, giving tribute to his influences. In this song, this douchebag isn't referencing his influences, he's using them to try to further his career. The entire press sheet just talked about how his song was in Empire Records, and the famous people he has played with before. There's a fine line between influence and praise, and self-serving stealing.

I really appreciate you sticking by your guns with intelligent discourse. I wish everyone on Punknews actually responded like you.

Posted by jacobe on 2004-10-19 13:19:21
My Score:

----------------------------------------
That was my comment below, I was not logged in.

"When did punk mean fair balanced reviews"

Your right about that, I was under the impression that what I had read was a record review done for a punk album, not a definition of how punk the writer was. What does the spirit of punk rock have to do with a poorly written review that gives little to no insight as to the actual sound of the music on the disc? The closest you get is saying that he ripped off the Ramones, which I guess is a first and that he used a line from Lou Reed.

If using lines/style from other bands is something that is grounds enough for you dislike them I would avoid listening to about 95% of the "punk bands" to come out in the past 20 years.

I'm not even trying to defend the album, your right it's not great, but what I wrote prior was just my take on how poorly written your review was. Had this been a bigger release you would have been slammed from many more people for the lack of information given.

You wrote more about the legal notice than you did the actual album. This is the kind of trash review I would expect at Buddyhead, but at least they make it funny.

"To me, the spirit of PUNK was all about fucking shit up, a sort of Nietzsche nihilism, if you will. Where's the fucking spirit of punk rock? "

What does this even mean? I'm really lost as to where this comment fits into the defense of your review.

"Do you think they based their career's on constructive criticism? Fuck no! "

I found this statement funny due to how bent out of shape you got over my criticism of your review. Not that you will change your style, but it obvously got you mad for some reason.

As for the absolutepunk comment I think that is pretty funny, nice attempt at generating an idea of the type of music I listen too. I stand by this site as one of the best on the net for music reviews, they are usually very well written. Even the general people that submit review write pretty decent things, I just expected more from someone with a "staff" icon.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, October 18, 2004 at 7:39 PM (EDT)
My Score:

....what?

...huh?

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, October 18, 2004 at 7:39 PM (EDT)
My Score:

....what?

...huh?

Posted by Jesse on 2004-10-18 09:35:44
My Score:

To the comment two below me:

I'm amazed that you fucking care. I thought this was supposed to be PUNKnews? What the fuck happened? Everyone's pissing their panties over "bad" or "controversial" reviews that I write. I told if it was good or not (which it is not) and that should be all that matters. Since when did PUNK mean fair, balanced, non-biased reviews? To me, the spirit of PUNK was all about fucking shit up, a sort of Nietzsche nihilism, if you will. Where's the fucking spirit of punk rock? Where's that destructive current of bands like Dead Kennedys or Sex Pistols or The Stooges or The MC5? Do you think they based their career's on constructive criticism? Fuck no!

So quit bitching. Maybe Absolute Punk will suit your tastes better.

Posted by mateo on 2004-10-18 01:25:23
My Score:

so it's just two CDs of pure, straight up twangy vocals, huh? interesting...

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 17, 2004 at 6:21 PM (EDT)
My Score:

I'm not one to bitch about things on this site usually, but this is a horrid review. It does nothing to really give the reader an idea of what the album actually sounds like, it more or less tells the readers that because of his forced "twang" that he is not rock n' roll. I also find it funny that you slam him for using Lou Reeds line of "all the colored girls" which was actually used in an old blues/slave songs in the early 1900s. I guess he is just as much to fault for trying to be a part of rocknroll.

I'm amazed that this is a "staff" review.

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 17, 2004 at 6:00 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Boo-urns. Where's the Leftover Crack review?

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 17, 2004 at 5:59 AM (EDT)
My Score:

goatse owns tubgirl, idiot. such endurance.

score is for goatse.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 16, 2004 at 2:39 PM (EDT)
My Score:

score is for tubgirl

Posted by slippy on 2004-10-16 14:30:36
My Score:

I love when you can tell from the review that Jesse is physically angry.

Posted by killyouridols on 2004-10-16 04:23:05
My Score:

the cover has to be a joke.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 16, 2004 at 3:58 AM (EDT)
My Score:

This is the band/actor that was in that movie "Empire Records" with Liv Tyler.

Posted by chan_e on 2004-10-16 02:42:12
My Score:

gross music

Posted by Jesse on 2004-10-16 01:57:45
My Score:

I work with what they give me.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 16, 2004 at 12:42 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Once again Jesse ends up reviewing all the crap.

-Chinatown

Posted by greg0rb on 2004-10-15 23:44:40
My Score:

Why dont YOU guys review those records if you love them so much? In fact, why dont you marry them! teehee... Q and Not U is awesome by the way, but i've only heard it and dont have a copy or else I would write the review. Scott...send it to meeeeeee!
-Greg

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 10:18 PM (EDT)
My Score:

Boo-urns. Where's the Q and Not U review?

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 8:42 PM (EDT)
My Score:

I bet the new Leftover crack cd is better, WHY DONT YOU REVIEW THAT FOR FUCK SAKES!!!?

Posted by civperc on 2004-10-15 20:09:56
My Score:

lol damn, this sounds pretty horrible. the album cover is horrid. what a lame effort.

Posted by bogey4 on 2004-10-15 19:29:18
My Score:

Well, that was an entertaining review, my score is for how worked up he got while writing this.