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Great Glass Elevator - All in the Golden Afternoon (Cover Artwork)

Great Glass Elevator

Great Glass Elevator: All in the Golden AfternoonAll in the Golden Afternoon (2005)
self-released

Reviewer Rating: 0.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

"Fike Philophobia" starts with the worst Elliott Smith impression I've ever heard, only to move into crappy high-pitched vocals that kick in with the line "waste away!" Uh-oh. Five kids from Orange County are having emotional troubles over their boring attempts to sound like a Drive-Thru band and Ph.


"Fike Philophobia" starts with the worst Elliott Smith impression I've ever heard, only to move into crappy high-pitched vocals that kick in with the line "waste away!" Uh-oh. Five kids from Orange County are having emotional troubles over their boring attempts to sound like a Drive-Thru band and Phantom Planet. They deserve to ride this wave all the way to the top. Woo-hoo.

This shit makes me want to puke. It has no relevance in the world of music. This shit is seriously the Carpenters of today, only, you know, without the bitchin' drug habit. Fuck man, the Carpenters, a goddamned family band, need I remind you, were more rock'n'roll than these tie-wearing pansies. Maybe they're sad because Hollister ran out of their favorite pair of jeans. Maybe they're sad because no one gives a damn about their shitty band. Or maybe they're just sad because no one's giving them credit for being bullshit trend riders.

"Listen to us! Our music is emotional, but we also have great piano-pop choruses! Woo hoo! Echo-effected vocals! Ultra radio-safe music!"

Okay, fine, that's not a real lyric, but it should be. Boo to this band. Boo to this band for sure.

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
volcomgurl7486 (March 18, 2007)

gge is the fucking shit.....you need to pull your head outta your ass....i love these fuys so fuck you!

Anonymous (April 22, 2006)

you've just wasted all these nice people's time reading this shit, you spend too much time being pretentious to actually sound intelligent or present any sort of real argument

Anonymous (March 1, 2006)

The Carpenters are pretty good though. Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?

Score is for the song "Close to You".

Anonymous (February 19, 2006)

Great glass elevator is an awsome band, they have every potential of being a great band!
that's what makes them great, their uniqueness. They don't sound like most bands, and their songs sound different, so you don't get that same riff in every song. Their guitarist matt works that guitar like i haven't seen in a while... Andrew on the bass is the most powerful, yet steady beat.... Josh
and t=his beats on that drum stick to the song yet it's like the drums are not obligated to just one flow! in my opinion this is a great band, and i wouldn't be surprised to see them make it big. Other bands respect gge, and many of these bands are on the same fame level as gge and even higher....... To conclude gge doesn't need a review cause their crowds speak for them!

Anonymous (January 4, 2006)

wow jesse you suck at reviewing things, do me a favor? and suck and cock, burn all your punk shirts and eat a gun

-punk sucks

Anonymous (December 1, 2005)

no one likes the fucking carpenders and no one cares about your "boo who" statements. this review sounds like you were writing it while choking on a dick. love ya!

Anonymous (November 22, 2005)

These dudes suck major. It doesnt help that they are the most pretentious band ive ever come across. Davids live journal is full of all the reasons to back my statement. They are anything but original and they should go back to playing pop punk. Their sound is like New Found Glory meets the shitty shitty parts of frances the mute that no one wants to hear if they were even that talented which they arent. Oh yeah morrisey is pissed brah, watch out for a lawsuit. F-

Anonymous (November 21, 2005)

"And their music isn't really emotional. It's fuckin tripped out crazy talk. "

What the hell does that mean?

-Charlie

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

No one from Orange County is original? Social Distortion was the original original.

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

i hate it when band members post on their own news or review threads

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

Everyone can have their own opinions. Lord knows i've trashed alot of bands. But this review is so far away from who these guys are. They don't know what the fuck Hollister is first of all. Adn their music isn't really emotional. It's fuckin tripped out crazy talk. Lastly, these guys have a fucking insane live show. I've seen them multiple times and each time they have crazy costumes, movies, intros, curtains, and god knows what else. If anything, these guys are about the only band out of Orange County even doing anything original. So fuck you.

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

sometimes, bands like this get what they deserve, and i think jesse just gave it to them. there are going to be plenty of other places where this band will get a real review, but i actually think this is appropriate. there's too much of this shit out there. review approved 100%.

-phdecontrol

hitlerbadzakgood (November 18, 2005)

hell yeah! tear these shit eaters a new one!

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

jesse-
Although I most often agree with your score, your reviews royally suck. I'm sorry your local band never got signed, but ease up for a fuckin second...Jesus, not every listens to Animal Collective. Instead of talking about what kind of clothes a band wears and what scene they may be in, no matter how much you may hate it, critique their song structure and lyrical content instead of being a bumbling idiot.

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

I don't like this band, but I guess I didn't have as violent a reaction as this reviewer.

Anonymous (November 18, 2005)

hahahahahahahhaha

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