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Brian Costello

The Enchanters vs. Sprawlburg Springs [book]
2006
Featherproof Books

Brian Costello - The Enchanters vs. Sprawlburg Springs [book] (Cover Artwork)

Review by: Jesse
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Published on January 13th 2006

You may know him as the drummer for the Functional Blackouts. You may know him as a columnist over at Terminal Boredom. You may know him from "The Brian Costello Show with Brian Costello," the world's first and only live talk show that operates out of the Empty Bottle in Chicago. You might know him as an instructor at Columbia College. Now, be prepared as I introduce you to Brian Costello, novelist.

Back for the first time, Costello's debut novel, The Enchanters vs. Sprawlburg Springs lives up to its title fully: The novel is about a garage punk band (the Enchanters) and how they become a local phenomenon and do battle with an entire upper-middle class suburban community (Sprawlburg Springs). Fetching, isn't it?

Told from the point of view of Shaquille Callahan, the recently signed on drummer to this motley crew (notice the spelling; yes, this was a phrase before the band took it as a name), this book follows closely the trials and tribulations that occur when starting a volatile rock band where it doesn't really belong. Includes when the band all starts wearing football helmets and fake-tanning their skin to a burnt sienna with lotion. From their first living room show to selling out the biggest venue in town (aptly titled "Latent Republican Hipster Music Club World"), there is not one band more enjoyable to read about.

All in all, the book reads a bit more like a commentary on all things suburban and band starting, as long as you ignore the entire plotline. Fun fact: The novel started as just a bunch of rants about Orlando, close to where the Bri-man grew up. Now it's a delicate novel involving a squid cutter/drummer and his best pals -- the large, simple-minded bass player; the tall, lanky, sinister guitar player (note: Sinister not included); and the riotous, ballsy singer, Renee, and you better bet your balls that she is a love interest for Shaq.

I couldn't say better things about this book. I picked it up when it came in the mail one night, and I ended up reading the whole thing through and going to sleep at five. It was that compelling. It was ravishing. It made me want to bore a hole through 174 of its 193 pages and just have sex with it (note: Please feel free to buy a copy and send it to me as a present, 'cause mine...um, is missing some parts on a few pages). Five hours was all it took to read, if you're a fast reader like moi, and how much of your time is that? Nothing! So what's your excuse for not reading it? Eh? Worst case scenario: You didn't like the book.

So here's the deal: If you didn't like the book, I will personally come to your house and give you a refund (note: Refund comes in the form of a knee to the balls). What have you got to lose (besides the chance to one day be a father)?

Okay, I'm through with you. Get out of my sight, and order this book.

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Posted by AlmostPunkENough on 2007-04-27 01:38:36
My Score:

i finally got around to reading this and it's every bit as good as the review syas.

go get this shit you illiterate fucks.

Posted by SilentStorms on 2006-01-17 11:40:25
My Score:

Ahhh good ole' Goosebumps, that shit was the shit. As for people bitching cuz someone reviewed a book, I hope you die. Fucking idiots. I say keep up with the book reviews!

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, January 16, 2006 at 11:12 AM (EST)

I hope this book isn't as bad his band.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 14, 2006 at 8:20 AM (EST)

**
in repsonse to -not-to-regret- , obviously

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 14, 2006 at 8:19 AM (EST)
My Score:

and that's a bad thing?..

Score's for "Goosebumps".

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 14, 2006 at 6:47 AM (EST)

this book sounds like a bad teen movie.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 5:40 PM (EST)

This looks interesting, but predictable. Now everyone is going start reviewing books; I predict reviews of RL Stine's entire catologue.

-Not-To-Regret

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 5:37 PM (EST)

i am all for reading book reviews more on this site

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 3:22 PM (EST)
My Score:

awesome. i'm getting it.

Posted by Jesse on 2006-01-13 14:42:37

Speaking of:

Elivs, Lou, and Brian Costello are going to team up as a superhero fighting force, conquering rock 'n roll, writing, and of course, Wolfman and the Mummy.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 2:19 PM (EST)

If I were a recovering drug addict alcholic, I would be offended at Frey's blatant lies.

But I'm not, and I'm only offended by his shitty writing style.

-Will

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 12:26 PM (EST)

Or everyone could just read about the whole "a million little pieces" and a bunch of other sites that headlined it today. I actually just read it and thought it was pretty good. I think James Frey has a pretty unique style. It doesnt really bother me if he made himself a little more of a "badass" than he really was. I didnt read it and repect him for fighting cops and smoking crack and all that. I dont think it really diluted the point of the book either.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 11:48 AM (EST)

Books, fuck yeah.

Posted by sickboi on 2006-01-13 11:11:08

I'm gonna review "A Million Little Pieces" and tell you all what a fraud that fucking hack is.

Posted by AlmostPunkEnough on 2006-01-13 04:20:42
My Score:

book reviews are an awesome fucking idea. score is for book reviews.

anyway, this seems like it will be a good read, you convinced me Jesse. i'll pick this up.

Posted by Anchors on 2006-01-13 02:49:50

I second the comment on Elvis Costello.

That man can do no wrong.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 2:37 AM (EST)

A book review? Nice! Punknews should start posting book and comic book reviews on here all the time.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 1:41 AM (EST)

I haven't had the chance to read Brian's book yet, but I do know the guy, and he's one cool cat , and funny as hell....and the Brian Costello Show With Brian Costello is one of the funniest, funnest things Shitcago has to offer.

Read Terminal Boredom!!!

Posted by darkstarm on 2006-01-13 00:58:36

This site should have more book reviews. Books on Punk and the underground are becoming just common enough to warrent it, plus a lot of 'em can be really good and really really inspiring. When there are so many bands out there it's easy for the great story that almost every band has to get lost. PEACE, NUKKA.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 12:47 AM (EST)

I'm more interested in Elvis Costello, but I'm sure this guy is cool too. By the way, this isn't the Columbia College of Columbia University, is it?

Maybe I'll pick this up. I hope I like it, because I don't like getting kicked in the balls.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 12:45 AM (EST)

What the fuck? A book review?

Posted by KirbyPuckett on 2006-01-13 00:38:17

Heeeeeeeeeey Peeeee Freeeeesh, do you waaaaaaaaaaanna read me boooooooooook?

- Marlon

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 13, 2006 at 12:35 AM (EST)

Punx can't reed.