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Bad Religion - New Maps of Hell (Deluxe)
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It’s only possible to namedrop so many bands over the course of a single press sheet, but Hell Promise manage to try and relate themselves to some of the biggest names in rock from the last 40 years. It read like a who’s who at a Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Jimi Hendrix? Check. AC/DC? Check Nirvana? Check.

Those are absurd comparisons or reference points for any band just starting to get their feet on the ground, let alone a goddamn metalcore band. I could be wrong, but I don’t seem to remember any lyrics about blood and dying screamed between double-bass drumming on any Hendrix albums. Well, maybe taking some cues from one of the greatest guitarists of all time would have pointed them in a better direction than the coma-inducing 30 minutes offered by Aim for Hell.

Heard it all before. Heard it better before. Heard it way, way better. Singer Brian Johnson's punishing vocals don’t sound so much inventive as they do like he’s repeating the same line over and over, song after song. The raspy screams are indistinguishable from anything any other nameless metalcore band has done in the last 5 years, and he doesn’t so much as change the speed or pitch of his delivery for enough time to let people think a new song is starting. Everything is robotically recycled song after song, tired line after tired line. Before I purge further, I’d just like to let everyone know that on this holy grail of a record here is a song called “Brass Knuckle Nightmare.” Seriously.

Back off or confront your weakness, son of a bitch / I’ll fight you too, you know you’ve stepped in deep shit / Another brass knuckle nightmare come true, it’s true / Forged in hell, this fist will pummel you / You’ll bleed like a little bitch in heat, bleed / Nobody will come to rescue you, it’s true.
Honest to God, those are their lyrics. This band doesn’t even deserve me reviewing any further.

Trash.






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    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, July 30, 2006 at 6:24 PM (EDT)

    I hope to god this trend dies out. Seriously.

    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 at 12:19 PM (EDT)

    you know what all this reminds me of?

    remember that point in the mid-to-late 90's, after gangsta rap died and labels like No Limit were huge, and shitty generic bling rappers and groups with that "money cash hoes" mentality were all the rage, and every week you had new shitty generic bling rappers with the absolute most gaudy-ass cookie cutter album covers with that fucking SHINY EFFECT on their names like it was all chromed out and whatnot?

    this is like that era of rap, but for hardcore.

    Posted by ILOVESCOTT on 2006-07-25 21:18:57

    brian, Long since forgotten certaintly aren't ground-breaking, but they aren't just mediocre either.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 7:55 PM (EDT)

    Seriously, just look at it by name and its still ridiculous: Aim for Hell, by Hell Promise.

    Posted by Inspection12e on 2006-07-25 12:51:23

    "Dudes with tribal tattoos and no friends probably love this album."

    hahhaha so true.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 12:19 PM (EDT)

    Dudes with tribal tattoos and no friends probably love this album.

    Posted by sirens on 2006-07-25 11:33:28

    hahahahah that press sheet is genius

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 11:26 AM (EDT)

    Ouch, Rocketstar really took it in the butt on this one.

    Posted by kirbypuckett on 2006-07-25 09:41:05

    Wow is that album art ugly!

    - Kirby

    Posted by DarrenMcLeod on 2006-07-25 04:46:42

    Brian - You really nailed the label. After I ordered the Gatsby DVD and received a free sampler, I predicted bit things from them, especially considering Ribbons And Sugar is one of my favorite albums. Once Gatsby left, though, it seems as if any spark left on the label did too.

    Posted by sickboi on 2006-07-25 02:08:05

    So the singer's name is really Brian Johnson AND they namedrop AC/DC?

    Posted by inagreendase on 2006-07-25 01:43:00

    Man, Rocketstar is just supposed to be this iffy but cute little new-school emo/pop-punk label that releases mostly mediocre stuff. but once in a while a solid or even fantastic album.

    Seeing them jump on this ship is just kind of unsettling.

    Posted by tylerdurden8136 on 2006-07-25 01:18:31

    That cover is horrible.

    Not to judge a book by it's cover but goddamn, that has to say something.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 1:06 AM (EDT)

    see the thing is, metalcore has become so mainstream and so watered down that it has reached the kids that like the basic modern rock staples like hendrix, nirvana, and ac/dc. I know tons of idiots who listen to radio rock and a handful of stupid metalcore bands. these kids obviously tried to jump on a sinking ship and started this lame band. it makes me wonder what the new trend that will get played-the-fuck-out will be?
    munchbox.

    Posted by Archangel on 2006-07-25 00:57:55

    I demand that Anchors receive some sort of award for review links.

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