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The Abner

Chinoiserie Lounge (2006)
Europe

Reviewer Rating:

Contributed by: Brian
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on August 4th 2006

Whoa, this is pretty terrible!

Aiden meets a 14th-rate version of the first Fear Before the March of Flames album?

Who told this band that was a good idea?

Outrageous singing, stupid pointless screaming, meLoDiC parts that sound like Billy Talent (entirely too genre-distant to work with the other influences), breakdowns, double-bass, an album that opens with the verbatim line "murder bloodlust medic killers and cowards spilling blood for 70 virgins," it's all in really cringeworthy form on the incredibly scatterbrained Chinoiserie Lounge. I haven't heard anything this hysterical in a long time.

This deserves a perfect score if it's tongue-in-cheek. But, uh, I just don't think that's the case...

STREAM
The entire shitbrick

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Anonymous (August 10, 2006)

...uh huh, cuz selling units sure is a sign of good music eh buddy? i can't think of anything thats sold a shit ton of records that was absolutely worthless...oh wait...

Anonymous (August 9, 2006)

that boy can sing. bet ya anything these fellas get signed to a rather large label and do pretty well for themselves amidst all the hate they're sure to get. no doubt their next album will be extremely well produced, and will sell a few units, mark my words.

puregold303

Anonymous (August 8, 2006)

Brian - for once, you're talking outta your ass...
I usually whole heartedly agree with most your reviews - but not this time my friend...
I streamed 'the entire shitbrick' and you know what, it's actually fucking awesome !!!

Yeah ok they're English, so we can forgive them for being slightly eccentric, but i only think that adds to what they've got to offer as a band - dunno man, you're way off kilter with this one... perhaps you just don't 'get it' ?

grealy (August 5, 2006)

these guys look happy from their picture. kinda like madness if they were happier.

i like that they like wings and snoop dogg. that's just punk rock right there.

and if they get any more derivative i think they might just get a record deal.

SlowStupidHungry (August 5, 2006)

HAHAHAHAHA, Okay, so you give the Avengers a half star yet actually like Thursday. Awesome, man. Sign of good taste.

inagreendase (August 4, 2006)

Well, they honestly look like nice guys for what that's worth.

However, I'm not advocating that every nice guy on the face of the earth make music...

Icapped2pac (August 4, 2006)

That's just because they're the only reviews I've bothered to click a rating on. I think I gave Avengers, Nirvana, and Sufjan Stevens all a half star each. Feel free to mock the other three though.

SlowStupidHungry (August 4, 2006)

I can't believe this. If there's one type of person who we thought would like us, it was the Thursday fan who listens to Sufjan Stevens and pretends to like the Avengers.

Icapped2pac (August 4, 2006)

Also, great review. I like it when the guy running things just absolutely shits all over a band. That doesn't happen often.

Icapped2pac (August 4, 2006)

I don't care if this is as bad as you say it is, Brian, I'd listen to this over Will's fucking awful excuse for a band any day.

dietcokeofpunk (August 4, 2006)

awesome review!

kirbypuckett (August 4, 2006)

STREAM
The entire shitbrick

Hahaha, shitbrick! You're on a roll this Friday Brian!

- Kirby