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HORSE the Band - Pizza (Cover Artwork)

HORSE the Band

HORSE the Band: PizzaPizza (2006)
E1 Music

Reviewer Rating: 3.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: KirbyPuckettKirbyPuckett
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Pizza‚?¶

Great food or GREATEST food?

If you answered the former then I have no reason to speak with you and suggest you stop reading this review.

IT'S A PIZZA PARTY!

Punknews.org alumni Scott Heisel deemed the Pizza EP from the quirky Nintendocore act HORSE the Band a fake. I thank the lords of 8-bit technology that he was wrong, because this pie fresh out of the oven is quite tasty!

At only five songs, this record feels like one of those personal pan pizzas that you used to get from Pizza Hut via the scholastic Book-It program. Most of us would prefer a large 12-cut pizza, but after reading ten consecutive volumes of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps, any pizza will suffice.

The first cut into the ‚??za is in typical HORSE the Band fashion -- synth keyboards standing out as the greasy and mouth watering cheese. Underneath is a sweet tomatoe-y sauce of brutal guitar play that drips on the edges of metalcore. Supporting the slice is an appetizing crunchy pummeling of the drum kit crust. The toppings are meaty, no room for wimpy vegetables as Nathan wails stronger than on previous servings -- although, I do taste a bit of crushed red peppers on the "Wooooo"s that liven up the wedge.

At my old job, CompUSA, every other Friday was payday and the managers bought the entire staff pizza. The majority of the twenty pizzas would be devoured between the opening and closing workforce, but there would always be at least one full pizza leftover. Did anyone bother to put it in the fridge? No. Nearing the end of my shift on a Saturday evening I would always dive into that last box, despite knowing how awful my stomach would feel on the drive home. "Werepizza" is that slice of the pie. The track is mundane, extensive, and very hard to swallow. Thankfully, HORSE the Band follow it up with one of the best songs they have produced to date -- "Pizza Nif" is their next significant live hit and an instant restaurant pleaser that can easily hold off "Cutsman" in an eating contest. The tune begins as if HORSE is giving Motion City Soundtrack a run for the money in synth-pop, but it quickly dives into a grinding break before burning the roof of your mouth with a contagious chorus.

When I was 10 years old only two things mattered to me -- pizza and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thankfully, HORSE the Band is in the same Turtle-van as me and they deliver a worthwhile rendition of the classic theme song. The vocals are not in the typical vein of HtB, instead they're a little nasally, but it works and well! It feels like Saturday morning all over again with this timeless track blaring from my speakers.

After spinning this EP a handful of times I am ready for a large greasy delicious Pizza full-length, or at least a Pizza compilation! I'm sure Hank Jones, the Aquabats, the Bouncing Souls, and you agree with me.

 

 
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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
tylerk (September 9, 2008)

Awesome review, bonus points for the CompUSA reference.

thomas7155 (August 27, 2007)

i dislike this band. it seems like if you want to be in an "innovative" band, all you have to do is have weird album covers, distorted vocals and dissonant riffs. every band since Fugazi has done that.

ozmanx (May 22, 2007)

i love this review.

TheMike (February 15, 2007)

I haven't heard this ep, but I must say, this is the best review I've ever read. I think I'm hungry, now...

tommytumult (January 18, 2007)

It's now available on 10" picture disc vinyl, complete with pizza box and coupons:

http://www.asssnake.com/lif/

Kursk (September 14, 2006)

I finally got this, it's actually better than I was expecting, and the TMNT theme song is worth it alone.

Anonymous (September 11, 2006)

Worst band as of recent. I think two of them like it in the butt. Says a lot.

kirbypuckett (September 11, 2006)

Dante, I'm glad that came up w/ the Pizza being on the "top" -- that bugged the hell out of me. Then there was that HUUUGE ad their album, I hate ads.

- Kirby

punkbytheounce (September 11, 2006)

Still tastes better than Domino's.

klonny (September 10, 2006)

This review is awesome. I've never heard the band, but I want to just because I like the review. :P

Dante3000 (September 10, 2006)

Couple of things I just noticed from interviewing HORSE the band (oh shit name dropping!!! NOES!!!)
First: The fucking pizza (AKA the cd) is on the roof of the box and there's a big as Mechanical Hand ad on the inside. Both things the band didn't ask for and both should be corrected for the vinyl.

Second: The band admits that this was silly and only for fun. While they hold that most of their songs actually have meaning ("Birdo" "Cutsman") they freely awknowledge this is a silly EP.

Third: I guess they're self releasing the vinyl on Kanga-Rooster records (unless they find a new name before then).

Fourth: They talk mad shit on Eli (Eel Eye).
As for the CD, if "Warepizza" wasn't so god damn drawn out this would be a way better disc, but it's still fun.
-Dante

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

decent album art, but this band isn't very good.

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

This band makes Chiodos look like Chiodos!!

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

Is the CD version in a pizza box, too?

Not really, it looks like a pizza box and it's a digipack, but it's not really a pizza box.

- Kirby

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

I seen Horse the Band at The Sounds of the Underground Tour.They FUCKING suck!!!!!!

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

one of my favorite bands and i love the pizza ep

indie_is_better_than_punk (September 9, 2006)

pizza nif = pizza knife

Anonymous (September 9, 2006)

"One of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons that no one ever seems to know of was Exo-Squad. I thought that show was the bee's fucking knees.

-Scott"

lol@fat kids.

davebrave4 (September 9, 2006)

Could anyone explain to me what pizza nif means?

Scruffy (September 9, 2006)

Oh, Exo-Squad sounds really familiar. I'm going to look it up on IMDB.

R3venge_Therapy (September 9, 2006)

This was an entertaining review, so good job on that. This band however...probably one of the worst out there. I have a hard time understanding why people call this music.

maverick (September 9, 2006)

One of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons that no one ever seems to know of was Exo-Squad. I thought that show was the bee's fucking knees.

-Scott

shanholtzer (September 9, 2006)

pizza (and r.l. stine) were the most important things growing up. i feel that all this band is trying to do, is sell me on pizza again (not specifically this record, but who/what they are in general). novelty act. song are catchy at times, but still. nothing more than putting pizza on a bagel and re-packaging it over and over again.

greyicewater (September 9, 2006)

once i ate a pizza and later that day my chest hurt really bad. and then a few days later i ended up in the emergency room because the pain was so bad. turns out i had an infection in my esophagus. my white count was so low that my room was quarantined and anyone who came in had to wear masks and gowns. so the point of me saying this is, i believe it was the pizza that did it all. and i feel if i got this, the same thign would happen. i don't like horse the band at all. but i did like this review.

hubitcherkokov (September 9, 2006)

I had the Spike "Land Before Time" hand puppet. I wish I knew where that was...

Anyway, best Saturday Morning Cartoons: Arthur and the Knights of Justice, Mighty Max, Eek! The Cat/Terrible Thunder Lizards, The Tick, Spider-Man/X-Men/The Marvel Action Hour (Fantastic Four/Iron Man), Aladdin, Pirates of Darkwater, Skeleton Warriors, Dog City, Gargoyles (the original writers just started a new Gargoyles comic book), Recess, and about 8 million more...

smelltheglove (September 8, 2006)

"If it helps, I remember Eek! I also remember how bad the other mini shows packed with it in the Eek!stravaganza show were. I wish it were just a whole half hour of Eek!
Remember when Saturday mornings was Eek!, Life With Louie, X-Men, Spidermand and The Tick?
And then, when it got good five years later on the WB with Superman, Batman and Men In Black (which I hold as one of the best American animated shows ever)."

I dunno...I kinda liked the Incredible Thunder Lizards. Nothing beats EEK! and the Tick Though.

THE EVIL MIDNIGHT BOMBER WHAT BOMBS AT MIDNIGHT!

eastsidemagsthbs (September 8, 2006)

too bad horse the band sucks

ILOVESCOTT (September 8, 2006)

interpunk is out of control, they are charging $7.75 for this.

kingofsuck (September 8, 2006)

I didn't mention the "box" in thie review, but the packaging is awesome.

- Kirby


Is the CD version in a pizza box, too?

i-type-poorly (September 8, 2006)

Siper Dave Osbourne had a cartoon too. If i remember correctly there were jokes that involved him getting hurt....

Scruffy (September 8, 2006)

If it helps, I remember Eek! I also remember how bad the other mini shows packed with it in the Eek!stravaganza show were. I wish it were just a whole half hour of Eek!
Remember when Saturday mornings was Eek!, Life With Louie, X-Men, Spidermand and The Tick?
And then, when it got good five years later on the WB with Superman, Batman and Men In Black (which I hold as one of the best American animated shows ever).

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

I have EEK! comic books.

tenwestchaser (September 8, 2006)

"I remember back when I was a kid when you got a free X-Men comic book with every personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. I would take that shit home and scarf it down while watching EEK! the Cat every day after school. Could be why I'm a fat fuck today."

Oh man...hell fucking yes I remember. EEK! was so great, nobody else I know remembers it. These comments are making my day less shitty.

mcgregor107 (September 8, 2006)

haha props to the metaphors..
im just posting because i just ate a chicken/green pepper pizza.. fucking delicious!

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

HORSE is bad in the same way Posideon was bad.

smelltheglove (September 8, 2006)

I remember back when I was a kid when you got a free X-Men comic book with every personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. I would take that shit home and scarf it down while watching EEK! the Cat every day after school. Could be why I'm a fat fuck today.

kirbypuckett (September 8, 2006)

Question: I got the "Birdo" mp3 here awhile ago and loved it. Does the rest measure up?

the reviews board should start listing whether releases are 7"/12"/CDs, etc..

--Cos


"Birdo" is a killer song. "Pizza Nif" lives up to it quite well -- Check out their records, the latest Mechanical Hand which "Birdo" is from is similar to that.

This is a CDep, the vinyl (limited to 500 copies) will be available soon.

I didn't mention the "box" in thie review, but the packaging is awesome.

- Kirby

Cos (September 8, 2006)

Question: I got the "Birdo" mp3 here awhile ago and loved it. Does the rest measure up?

the reviews board should start listing whether releases are 7"/12"/CDs, etc..

--Cos

boba_fett (September 8, 2006)

At only five songs, this record feels like one of those personal pan pizzas that you used to get from Pizza Hut via the scholastic Book-It program. Most of us would prefer a large 12-cut pizza, but after reading ten consecutive volumes of R.L. Stine‚??s Goosebumps, any pizza will suffice.

FUCK YEAH! those were the days man...

kingofsuck (September 8, 2006)

Since I haven't heard this EP yet, the score is for the review. One of the better ones I've read on this site. Hopefully I'll be able to grab this on vinyl.

steveman (September 8, 2006)

$5 Pizzas Today at Dominick's!

16 Inches ariviing at my door.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

This review made me laugh. Nice work!

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

fantastic review. i always have trouble choosing my pizza topping too, fuck those HORSE boys nailed it down in "crippled by pizza"

tenwestchaser (September 8, 2006)

"I think I got a rad Land Before time hand puppet with one of those."

Haha, this whole review and following comments brought back all kinds of memorys. Score is for that.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

The war in Iraq.

GREAT war, or the GREATEST war.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

score is for compUSA

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

This band knows how to have fun, but they really don't know how to put together a decent record.

Good review though.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

Good review, shit band.

- Suck the Fuck

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

brilliant. i still have my "book it!" button.

fallingupwards84 (September 8, 2006)

awesome review... it was very fun to read

score is for the review

fluxy44 (September 8, 2006)

oh i see what he did, like hes reviewing a pizza!! because the album is called "pizza"!!

genius.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

i want the vinyl.

kirbypuckett (September 8, 2006)

Good review.
No mention of Less Than Jake, minus a point.


Well played, well played...

- Kirby

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

A dude playing blip blip noises. Random screaming and chugga chugga riffs. Cool!

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

Let's be honest; pizza is shit compared to a curry.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

seriously you cant deny that they dont put on a good show. im not a complete fan but goddamn if they dont know how to have fun i wish more band looked at the industry the way they do

theonetruebill (September 8, 2006)

Holy shit I loved Book-It. The free pizzas were amazing and then at the end of the year if you read for 600 minutes you got a ticket to Great America! I was so sad when I hit 7th grade and that program stopped.

As for Horse, fuck 'em. score is for the review and making me nostalgic

Mute98 (September 8, 2006)

lets turn dining back into eating!

SalsaShark (September 8, 2006)

I like food, food tastes good.

Cheesetits (September 8, 2006)

I hate the Aquabats, but love Horse.

ilikepunkrock (September 8, 2006)

just to eat

ilikepunkrock (September 8, 2006)

Friday was pizza day the best day of the week, all the kids lined up super early to eat.

BrendanKelly (September 8, 2006)

Fucking amazing.

Phantom_Maggot (September 8, 2006)

Score is for reminding me of the Book-It pizzas. I think I got a rad Land Before time hand puppet with one of those. Ah to be a child again.

Dante3000 (September 8, 2006)

Hopefully I'll be interviewing this psychos on Saturday...should be pie-tastic.
-Dante

Fuzzy (September 8, 2006)

Good review.
No mention of Less Than Jake, minus a point.

i-type-poorly (September 8, 2006)

Enjoyable songs, but they certainly put up their B-material for this. I'm sure the next full length will result in rocked-off faces though.

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

I like horse the band alot!!!! they are quite enjoyable and make me happy!!!!

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

I hate this band but I enjoyed this review quite a bit.

FuckYouOiOiOi (September 8, 2006)

"although, I do taste a bit of crushed red peppers on the ‚??Wooooo‚?Ěs that liven up the wedge. "

hahahaha
score is for teh review.

someone-yeah (September 8, 2006)

hahaha, what the hell?

Anonymous (September 8, 2006)

reviewer needs death ASAP.

inagreendase (September 8, 2006)

Awesome review, tons of relatable stuff.

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