Bombshell

In a few very simple steps, you and your friends could start your own band that’s exactly like Bombshell, and release your very own record that mirrors the torrent of originality on To Hell with Motives. So now, free of charge, I will release the ingredients that go into making a band like this;

First and foremost, you must have one singing and one screaming vocalist. This combination is absolutely imperative to the success of the band. In fact, the more vocalists the better. Three vocalists? Three times the fun is what I say! The more high-pitched and out of tune the singing the better the result. Now remember, if it sounds like the ages of the vocalists are anywhere above 15, you’ve overdone it. The second ingredient is just as important as the first one, and that’s sophomoric and overdramatic lyrics. The more mentions of blood, dying, death, love, lost love, blood, depression, angels, and blood that you can cram into each song, the better. As a general rule of thumb here, at least 30% of the lyrics in a given song should have some sort of depressing imagery and there should be no less than four mentions of blood or death. Mix and match those with love and death to maximize your fun!

Alright, so we’ve taken care of vocals and lyrics, but that’s only half the battle. Behind every sacred dying heart in November’s bloody romance, there has to be an incredibly boring arrangement of riffs. Alternate some clean chord progressions with extremely low tuning and let 'er rip. I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but breakdowns are absolutely essential. If you can’t picture middle schoolers in their sister's jeans spin-kicking to your live performance, go back and start over. There’s no reason to settle for anything short of perfection. Combine that with some double bass drumming and you’re well on your way to making this band a reality! One more step to go.

Now that you’ve got your sing/scream technique down, and breakdowns set up, it’s time to think about the acoustic closer. After all, what third-rate Hawthorne Heights can truly say they’ve made an album without an acoustic closer? Exactly. Now what you’ll want to first do is decide who’s the worst singer out of the two or three -- that’s who will handle vocal duties with the acoustic song. If he strains and his voice cracks when hitting the high notes, you’ve found your man! You’ll really have to put some emotion into these lyrics seeing as they’ll be much easier to understand. If people can’t feel your pain, if they don’t feel like their 8th grade girlfriend kissed another guy in the cafeteria, they won’t truly connect, and everything will have been for nothing.

I hope this has been an informative guide, and if you follow my instructions exactly, you should be on the Warped Tour and in the notebooks of 14-year-old girls everywhere in no time!