Assholeparade

Assholeparade: EmbersEmbers (2006)
No Idea Records

Reviewer Rating: 3.5

User Rating:

Contributed by: AnchorsAnchors
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on July 13th 2007There's something to be said for a band that pulls no punches; there's something to be said for a band that never so much as lets you catch a breath. Assholeparade are one such band, and their lightning-fast style has been a thrash mainstay for over 10 years now, and Embers is proof they haven't for.

There's something to be said for a band that pulls no punches; there's something to be said for a band that never so much as lets you catch a breath. Assholeparade are one such band, and their lightning-fast style has been a thrash mainstay for over 10 years now, and Embers is proof they haven't forgotten what got them there:

Fast and relentless hardcore.

From the snarling vocals of Travis G to the four men that back him up, there's nothing to stop the stream of chaos and distortion that each short song offers. And make no mistake -- the songs are short. With an average length of about 45 seconds, Assholeparade have to cram as much as possible into a very tiny box. That means no grandiose crescendos, no elongated guitar solos, and no lyrical pontification -- short and to-the-point is the way these men do business.

"The Cash in of the Christ," a song affectionately written about Mel Gibson, shows that through all the muddy production and powerful vocals, there's a social conscience. Just don't expect them to be eloquent about it, as their political and social thoughts are anything but. Eloquent they are not, but full of fire and conviction they are; within two minutes time, Gibson is regarded as the reason hate exists ("You are on my list, the reason hate exists / A lethal fucking weapon") and George W. Bush is not spared either ("Four more fucking years of hell, bodies piled to the fucking sky / A beast with no regard for human life, like how the false witness prophesized"). And I suppose words like that are easy to say, but it's the ferocity in which they are delivered that makes those words truly stick. "Re-throned Emperor," the aforementioned song regarding Bush, has some of the band's fastest guitar work, and drummer Jon W. has to hammer his kit as hard as he can just to keep up.

Songs like "Quarterpipe" make that no easy task, as the thrashy explosion packs a mighty punch in thirty seconds' time, making anything longer that keeps up the same intensity all the more impressive.

Assholeparade, especially by their genre's standards, have been doing this a while. Most bands fizzle out after a couple years and/or zap their creative energy, but Gainseville's loudest sons keep thrashing on. They know what it means to be loud and abrasive and they know how to make killer songs that fit that bill. And nobody, not George W. Bush, or William Wallace himself, can tell them otherwise.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

cheddar (October 1, 2009)

whoever rated this as a 3 and a half.... you suck. this is the best asshole parade record.

glasspipemurder (July 16, 2007)

good band, just started checking them out last night.

i loves me some short music.

Anonymous (July 15, 2007)

"Assholeparade"

At least they know what they are.

That's the first step.

Anonymous (July 14, 2007)

Yes AP is PowerViolence. Why else would they be on that Possessed To Skate compilation along with Charles Bronson, Spazz and Despise You if they weren't PV.

Anonymous (July 14, 2007)

"The greatest powerviolence band ever, i am not kidding!"

1. This isn't powerviolence. Maybe 5% of the bands labeled "powerviolence" these days even come close to the style.
2. this band IS great, however
3. Weekend Nachos are the top PV band going today. Best PV band ever? Neanderthal or Crossed Out

Don't be fucking stupid YES it is powerviolence, can't you hear the riffs ripped off of Infest, Man Is The Bastard and Spazz. You don't seem to know what your talking about. Weekend Nacho's are cool.

Anonymous (July 14, 2007)

shut up about fucking yellowcard.

this band is great, this is probably their best release to date. love the dual vocals.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

I like their name.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

wish i saw them with the holy mountain a couple months ago. now the holy mountain's broken up. :(

then again, that venue must've reeked of B.O for a 2-block radius.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

you'd think if this yellowcard guy was THAT big a fan he'd know what he's talking about. i don't even like yellowcard but i know their upcoming disc is their fourth full-length.

wehavecomeforyourchildren (July 13, 2007)

is the reviewer even mildly familiar with asshole parade's older shit? he didn't mention anything about how this one is totally different from everything they've done in the past. i don't mean in a bad way, but if it weren't for those snotty vocals, you might not even realize it's the same band.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

this album is good but I haven't listened to it all that much. I guess it isn't that memorable.

- JD

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

Thanks absolutepunk.net. Just like your site, the jyellowcard oke is old, tired and reminds me of middleschool. Fuck off to your own site and talk about Kelly Clarkson and Maroon 5 and whatever else the fuck I just saw there (Yes, I visited to see what the contest was all about, I didn't see it).

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

I am not aware of a contest, but I know a prize that is waiting in stores on July 17th 2007, and that would be the new CD by Yellowcard, Paper Walls!
I don't think AssholeParade would want to play with Yellowcard, or that No Idea would want anything to do with them either, I think No Idea sticks to local bands who are trying to make a name for themselves. Hats off to labels who helping bands work on their chops so they can step up to their next level, like Yellowcard did!

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

The greatest powerviolence band ever, i am not kidding!

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

We are doing no such contest. Tate's not a prick like that. Whoever this guy is, he's fucking annoying.

- Nathan

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

Other thread said "yellowcard" posts are a joke egged on by the guy who runs absolutepunk.net. Fucking lame if you ask me. The sites really cover different stuff, why cause bad blood?

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

I'm glad No Idea has documented the Florida scene so well, many of thier releases are heavy like this one, but they also put out Radon and HWM. Is there another label out there that seems to have as much fun as No Idea? They do so many color vinyl pressings and go all out on artwork and everything. Label of the decade? I think so.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

"Just a heads up, I (Jon) am on the Yellowcard street team and this person is not one of us. But they seem to know a lot about the release and the band. Anyway, REAL street teamers were not instructed to post stuff yet, we are waiting for the big push this weekend, the record comes out on 07-17-07. I guess this person could be just super stoked and is trying to help the band, but I'm not sure this is the best place to do it. I'll forward some of their posts to my street team members and see what they think."

Hahahaha, is this real? Hopefully it is sarcasm.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

Holy Mountain are also on No Idea and good. Combat Wounded Vetern, ditto.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

Just a heads up, I (Jon) am on the Yellowcard street team and this person is not one of us. But they seem to know a lot about the release and the band. Anyway, REAL street teamers were not instructed to post stuff yet, we are waiting for the big push this weekend, the record comes out on 07-17-07. I guess this person could be just super stoked and is trying to help the band, but I'm not sure this is the best place to do it. I'll forward some of their posts to my street team members and see what they think.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

their new stuff is alright. but nothing will ever touch their split LP with palatka. that and "misery index" by assück are probably the 2 best records to come out of florida.

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

who the fuck is this yellowcard guy?! go away.

go buy this at no idea records for whatever insanely reasonable price it's at.

what's the deal with this band? they are still active and from florida... but i keep seeing mention that they played their last US show. huh?

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

I tip my hat to Florida thrashers like Asshole Parade who have blazed the trail for fellow Floridian bands, one who is more pop oriented, Yellowcard, made quite a splash on the national scene and is gearing up for their 3rd full length (yes they released a 2nd one that didn't click with radio and the TRL crowd). It's called Paper Walls and you can listen to the songs on their myspace page and make up your own mind!

Anonymous (July 13, 2007)

I disagree with feeding. Most grind/thrash/powerviolence kinda stuff gets old quick, and so does some of Asshole Parade's older material, but they absolutely nailed it on this one. There's enough variety here to keep things interesting. The guitar parts are memorable enough to stick in your head despite the short lengths. I admire their humor, as it seems many bands in this genre stick to a very serious leftist tone.

I'd have to give this release a 10/10 for what it is. Check it out if you're into Municipal Waste, TETA-era Propagandhi, Ceremony, Infest or anything in the hardcore punk genre.

feeeding5000 (July 13, 2007)

Awesome? Yes. Definitely. Worthy of repeated listenings? Probably not. This does the same thing for me as all of Tragedy and HHIG's records - I really like it while I'm listening, but I pick it up infrequently at best.