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It’s late evening as I sit at my desk, eager for my first taste of Arise and Ruin, Canada’s latest import to Victory Records, and the sun is going down. I press play as darkness emerges and shadows fall across my floor, filling my mind with wonder. Will I unearth a modern day classic, or will all that remains be another mediocre metalcore album? Alas, a few listens of songs like “Amidst Devils” and “Pale Horse” prove I’ve feared correct.

Sure, there might be some decent chug-along verses and flittering double-bass breakdowns, but what still remains is, in fact, just another mediocre metalcore album. God forbid a new band on Victory would actually try something new. I decide there’s really no point in living anymore if this is what the modern-day notion of intensity is coming to, grab my collectible (yet no less lethal) diecast Geordi La Forge signature-series phaser, and set the killswitch to engage. There’s a suicide silence following the blast, and animosity fills my heart.

As I lay dying on the floor, phaser wounds bleeding through my black V-neck, I think about how this could have all been avoided. But just as it begins to dawn on me, a light appears, and the Lamb of God is summoning me for judgment. But the Lord does not seem to be happy about that night last April when I killed the prom queen after she rejected me and my stunning jet black hair. He sends the knights of the abyss to escort me down to the depths and I’m not stoked to see Satan, because the devil wears Prada, and that is not very vegan.

Arise and Ruin is a great name for a band, but I feel like this sound and generic lyrical themes might have been done before. Well, at least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.



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    Posted by D-Roc on 2008-06-17 07:55:49
    My Score:

    Facepalm for this review as well...

    I can see how this band might be moderately entertaining if you enjoy having a small gorilla-man yell at you and punch the floor for a few minutes whilst urging you to throw up the horns during one of (too) many breakdowns.

    I've seen this band twice now, not by choice on either occasion. I couldn't tell one song from the next as all the breakdowns and floor punches seemed to run together. The entire time they played I just felt an overwhelming sense of uneasiness and violation, like when my parents used to fight and I just wanted more than anything to be somewhere else.

    Posted by im_john_galt on 2008-06-16 22:00:30

    this review must have taken you an eternity, although i suppose it isn't difficult to come up with nearly a store full of bands that have done this sound before. thank you much, your message comes through beautifully.

    Posted by SloaneDaley on 2008-06-16 12:35:26

    great fucking review.

    Posted by preston on 2008-06-16 11:55:44

    horsefight!

    Posted by BTDAN on 2008-06-16 07:33:46

    haha oh yes face palm records.

    this band sucks balls. here is their song structure

    Intro
    Verse
    Chorus
    Breakdown
    Outro:Breakdown

    saw them live on rosesdead's final tour and in a 9 song, 30 minute set they had 8 breakdown and told me to put up my horns 6 times.
    We worked it out to be every 3 minutes there was a breakdown and every 5.5 minutes we were asked to put up the "horns".
    their midget singer can suck my left nut.

    Posted by imisschampion on 2008-06-14 12:32:38

    best review i've ever read

    Posted by Frogtown706 on 2008-06-14 00:51:22

    Best. Review. Ever.

    Posted by sugarfull on 2008-06-14 00:14:41

    Loved this review.

    Posted by SilentStorms on 2008-06-13 23:46:14
    My Score:

    Pretty damn funny review. Score's for the namedrops. But this band is still better than most of the mentioned bands. Yet, still only mediocre hardcore/metal. As most of the "in" bands' that people listen to suck waaaaay more than these guys.

    Posted by moneenerd on 2008-06-13 18:02:16

    fucking embarrassing canadian hardcore band

    Posted by TJ1234 on 2008-06-13 18:01:00
    My Score:

    facepalm for the review.

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