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16 Second Stare - Red Carpet Material (Cover Artwork)

16 Second Stare

16 Second Stare: Red Carpet MaterialRed Carpet Material (2008)
Mighty Loud Entertainment

Reviewer Rating: 1


Contributed by: GlassPipeMurderGlassPipeMurder
(others by this writer | submit your own)

This one's a bit of a head-scratcher: rock/metal from Lutz, Florida, credited as a two-guitar duo in the lyrics booklet though clearly also composed of bass and drums. The packaging of their debut full-length Red Carpet Material is plastered with attractive women in seductive poses, and said objecti.
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This one's a bit of a head-scratcher: rock/metal from Lutz, Florida, credited as a two-guitar duo in the lyrics booklet though clearly also composed of bass and drums. The packaging of their debut full-length Red Carpet Material is plastered with attractive women in seductive poses, and said objectification is supposedly "for the troops" because "freedom isn't free" and "these chicks are our gift to you."

Before going into any extensive rants about justifying sex appeal for military service, it should also be mentioned that 16 Second Stare has the same trouble conveying ideas lyrically as they do warranting scantily clad females on their album art. Take "Anymore" for a quick example: "I don't care if you want me anymore / It's my time so let's make it easy / I don't care if you're a pretty little whore." The title track is much the same: "Wanna go for a ride / Release the fantasy / In our time of need." Those are just two examples, but there's nothing of any real substance on the entire album, which stands in direct contradiction to the claim laid on the band's MySpace page: "The strong team of 'Angry' Tim Shanks and Todd Petus [?] deliver pure rock and roll substance."

Musically, this is about as generic as it gets, full of empty fist-pumpers ("Smash," "Anymore"), boring rock ballads ("Control," "Goodbye") and half-hearted attempts at something slightly dancey ("Roxy"). The one listenable track, "Ballad of Billy Rose," isn't even credited to the band themselves. Oh yeah, "listenable" is somewhat debatable but "watchable" is almost out of the question.

Though it is a bit confusing as to why this was sent to Punknews for review, it doesn't take a genius to figure out this should be avoided at all costs, even if it's free (as it was for 10,000 troops, apparently). For pictures of attractive women, you'd be better off buying a Cosmo...there might actually be some substance in that.

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
damnitsderek (October 18, 2009)

Dudes on the front look like lost members of a nearby frat.

GlassPipeMurder (October 18, 2009)

Why was this even reviewed?

I just review what Brian sends me whether I like it or not.

jamespastepunk (October 18, 2009)

Why was this even reviewed?

____Win_Win_Situation____ (October 17, 2009)

guy on the right is a perv looking at that phat juicy ass. i dig it.

what review?

thirtyseconds (October 17, 2009)

Ha ha. This sounds terrible.

shark-e (October 16, 2009)

At least when they look at their review they can enjoy the symmetry that the single star under the album cover creates. Maybe it'll inspire more one word song titles. Like "Symmetry."

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