Dispatches: The Flatliners: Episode 2

The Flatliners, hot on the heels of the release of Cavalcade, recently made their way across Canada with Broadway Calls and Cobra Skulls. The band has agreed to drop in and give us some dispatches, the second of which we bring you tonight.You can click Read More for the dispatch.

April 14 - Regina, SK:
We've got a short drive today for the first time in a while. Its been
raining for days, so Saskatchewan still looks like something out of "The
Road." A few details of last night's show in Saskatoon have come creeping
back to me. There was a dude in a wheelchair rocking out in the pit harder
then anybody else - that was rad. There was also this guy dancing around
who I've grown to call the "Ass Mosher." Instead of jumping in the pit like
a normal person, he would enter ass first and proceed to dance backwards in
a circular motion, all the while with his ass sticking straight out. Seems
they've got some moves in Saskatoon we've never even heard of. We rolled up
to the venue in Regina, which is surrounded by a bunch of train tracks and
nothingness basically. After we loaded in and practiced some more songs off
our new record, we took a stroll to the nearest liquor store to grab a box
of Pilsner. Upon exiting the place with our box of beer, I witnessed
something truly Canadian. Right out the front door there was this old Hank
in a full-on Canadian Tuxedo (blue denim shirt AND blue denim jeans),
wearing a Molson Canadian hat, playing Neil Young songs on an acoustic
guitar for people's change. Ah, its good to be home.

The show tonight was a lot of fun, as Regina shows usually are. The bar
and the sound quality at The Exchange are both rad, and it was our tour
manager Dorian's night to drive, meaning the four of us had a really good
time. After the show all three bands stayed at my girlfriend's friend's
Grandparents' place (confusing?), where we raised all sorts of hell, drank
all sorts of beer and, yes, lit all sorts of farts on fire.

April 15 - Winnipeg, MB:
Winnipeg used to be a sketchy place for us. It seemed like the first 5 of
6 times we played the Peg, something totally fucked up happened. We've had
our run-ins with the Lebanese Mafia (for real), seen people pummeled by
groups of drunks, had our windows smashed, shows eerily moved the day of,
etc. The shows have always been great, but they were always followed up by
some kind of disaster. Only a couple years ago did we break our Winnipeg
curse. Now every time's a party, and tonight was indeed that. It was a long
drive from Regina to Winnipeg, so we basically got in to town just in time
for the show. And the night began quickly. What a rad show. We caught up
with some old friends, felt our friend Farrel's soon-to-be-born baby girl
kicking up a storm, and even had a cameo from the Cobra Skulls' tour dog
Bella. I was surprised this tiny dog's head didn't explode when she ran out
on stage during our set. We ended the set with "Eulogy" tonight, and when
we got to the quiet part before the outro, this guy jumped on stage and
started singing the part. At first everything was all good, we love it when
people sing our songs with us. But this particular gentleman started
rushing all the lines - "pre-singing" if you will - leaving us in stitches.
Luckily a few other folks jumped on staged and helped the poor guy out.
Needless to say, we left the stage all smiles.

Tonight was my night to drive so I wasn't drinking the "Standard Lager" we
got at the show. The label of this beer is an exact replica of the
Budweiser label, but with a different name. Okay fine, I had ONE beer and
it tasted exactly like Budweiser too. Some eery shit. All three bands
planned to tackle a bit of the longest drive on earth for an overnighter -
Winnipeg to Thunder Bay. 8.5 hours plus you lose an hour to the time zone
change. So before we hit the road, us and Broadway Calls tried to find a
Burger King to fill the grumbling bellies of the meat eaters and
veggies/vegans alike. We must have driven around the entire city of
Winnipeg before we found one but GOD DAMN was that Steakhouse Burger and
our $45 order worth it.

April 16/17 - Thunder Bay/Sault Ste Marie, ON:
There should be a city in between Winnipeg and Thunder Bay. Seriously. A
real city. This drive is the bane of every Canadian tour's existence. We
finally get in to Thunder Bay, after something like 7 hours without cell
service, and the venue is locked. Its 30 minutes until doors and we can't
get inside. So what does one do when you don't want to be stuck at the door
waiting for it to be unlocked? You explore the city of course. Casino to
the right, Black Metal band practicing in an abandoned mall to the left.
The casino was like any other. Cobra Skulls were on a mission to find food
and walking tour dog. So we opted to explore this abandoned mall with
Broadway Calls and try to get a glimpse of the metal band squatting their
jam space in the basement. They sounded like your typical metal band, so
once we got down to the door of their impromptu jam space we figured it
would be much more fun to just rock the fuck out to their songs than go
inside and introduce ourselves. So that's what we did. Mini-mosh in the
basement of the abandoned mall, pretending we were front row center for
"Two Minutes to Midnight." Once the venue doors opened, Scott got his ass
whooped at foosball by Cobra Skulls. Adam (aka "Axl") and I compared
"skinny-guy guts" and while Broadway Calls were killing it. We usually hit
T-Bay on a weekday, but a Friday night worked out much better. We were all
well taken care of by the very generous bar staff at Black Pirates Pub.
Luke from Cobra Skulls and I had an orange fight in a Burger King parking
lot afterwards, and then we all had another giant slumber party. Next we
woke up and drove for 8 hours to Sault Ste Marie without cell reception.
What fun.

Sault Ste Marie on a big ol' Saturday night. We were remaining hopeful,
and the show turned out all right I suppose. Although everyone seemed to
watch from the furthest corner from the stage, like all three bands smelled
like hockey bags or something. I can safely say we sold more merch at the
A&W we stopped at for lunch that afternoon than at the actual show. But
that's okay. Fast food employees in the middle of nowhere apparently love
bands they've never heard of before. The stage in Sault Ste Marie looked
like something straight out of Blues Brothers. All that was missing was the
chicken wire and black suits. Cobra Skulls and Broadway Calls were all able
to pick up American cell coverage since we were so close to Michigan, so
they were all stoked. Us hosers had to be careful with our phones. It
dawned on me tonight that we're a magnet for dudes who just want to grab
the mic and have a good time, because the same guy got up on stage with us
twice tonight to sing along to songs he had definitely never heard before.
The best part was the second time he came up and grabbed the mic, no sound
came out for so long. It was like he was watching super-attentively and
just preparing himself fully for the perfect moment. But he, of course, had
to be gripping the microphone to prepare for his moment. I really don't
think that moment ever came for the guy, but hey, he was having the night
of his life!

There also seemed to be a black hole on the stage just for people's beers
tonight. One spot of the stage seemed to serve as the audience's table,
which was fine. But the funny thing was that this one particular spot just
swallowed all those drinks whole. Pitchers were spilled, bottles were
broken, and glasses were dropped. And only on this one particular spot. At
one point a girl's beer foamed up and overflowed, so our very own Scott
Brigham - being a man who appreciates a good drink - handed her one of his
beers to replace it. Of course, this girl's cell phone was much more
interesting than the show, so she just grabbed the beer from Scott and kept
texting OMGs and LOLz to her BFF. Who stands front row at a show and just
texts the whole time?! That's some weak shit. Scott asked her if she was
going to text him saying "thank you for the beer" and the far corner of the
room erupted with laughter. Yeah, we got that pre-teen queen good. Put your
phone in your fucking pocket!!!

April 18/19 - Barrie/London, ON:
HOME TURF SHIT! We're back in Southern Ontario, some 9 weeks later. The
shows in Barrie and London were such a blast. Lots of familiar faces and
lots of freshies too. This tour just keeps getting better and better and it
is insane. After the Barrie show, when I could have slept at home in my own
bed for the first time in forever, I slept at my girlfriend's house, some
10 minutes up the road, with Broadway Calls and kept the tour dream alive.
We ate delicious food, we shared historically radical laughs, and we were
on tour. I love this band and the people in it. The next day they played
the amazing retro pinball machines at my lady's place all day. Meanwhile we
headed to the legendary Call the Office in jolly old London, Ontario to set
up our shit. This must be the 25th or 100th time we've played at this bar.
Always armageddon-hot on stage, endless drinks every time, party on the
regular. The show was insane, and it was a Monday night! This is the second
time we've gotten ass lucky to have our Monday night show be a great one,
and experiencing that makes any band on tour stoked on life. And the mother
fuckers could sing! Louder than the PA at times, which made it easy for us
to just sit back, take a breather and let the audience carry our sorry
asses. Cheers to our friends in these cities for coming out and making us
feel so at home!