Various

Un-Scene 4: 30 Seconds to Impact (2008)

Joe Pelone

Hey kids! Remember Short Music for Short People, a compilation of 30-secondish punk rock ditties? Remember how it had a ton of bands ya dug, like Dillinger Four, Black Flag, Bouncing Souls, AFI and even Blink-182 (Admit it, you liked them! Youuuuuuu…liked them!)? Well, how would you like to pick up an album with the same short song concept, but without that pesky name recognition to get in the way? No? Well, too fucking bad, laddy/lassy, cause Punktastic Recordings has a new Short Music tribute of sorts, Un-Scene 4: 30 Seconds to Impact.

As a whole, it's hard to care about this record. Few of the bands can craft a well-rounded 30-second tune like Green Day's "The Ballad of Wilhelm Fink" or No Use for a Name's "Sara Fisher." Un-Scene 4 is an indistinctly punky hodgepodge. A few ska songs stand out, though, like the Specials-aping "Macho Man Paul Savage" by Arse Full of Chips. But the tune's appeal is in how it blatantly rips off one of the most famous ska bands of all time. The Ill Boddies' "How Much Would You Pay to Be Bill Oddie for a Day?" stands out as well. A quick ‘n catchy reggae piece, the Ill Boddies are one of the few bands on this comp to actually craft a hook. The Cunts' "(I'm Gonna Give You) A Shoeing" is kind of funny. It's a 10-second song whose sole lyrics are "I'm gonna give you a shoeing."

But as a mass introduction to underground UK punk, emo, hardcore and ska acts, Un-Scene 4 mostly just makes me feel proud to be an American. Most of these tracks either barely register or blatantly cop a feel from established acts. Worse are the songs where the acts eff around for 15 or so seconds.

On a side note, Punktastic Recordings, an offshoot of music site punktastic.com, recently closed shop, citing lack of support from a scene it was growing increasingly disinterested in. In an interview with rockmidgets.com, Punktastic founder Paul Savage namechecked the everlovin' Org for not giving any of their bands/releases any attention. So Paul, hey. Hi. Hello. How ya doin'? Your record sucks.