Lemon Lime Tennis Shoes

Take It or Leave It (2006)

Chris Mellides

Wow. Here's some lackluster, second-rate ska-punk that's sure to give you little-to-zero bang for your buck.

Matt Kelley's vocals are almost completely uninspired and unbelievably boring to boot. The range and quality of his singing is not unlike something you'd hear from frontman Scotty Morris of the band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The difference, however, is that Morris actually has some talent, whereas Kelley does not.

Some of Take It or Leave It sounds a little loungy to the ear, which was an unwelcomed surprise and an off-putting one at that. Consequently, it no doubt does offer listeners a quick escape from the awful ska-core that dominates the rest of the record. So, you can't blame the gang there, I suppose.

When it comes down to looking at the album as a whole though, well, you just can't shine shit. Try as you might, you'd only be staining your fingernails in the process. It's that simple.

Judging by the album artwork alone, this humble reviewer knew nothing good could possibly come out of the contents found inside. The art is vague and dull. Not surprisingly, upon further exploration, the CD and everything it represents is also undeniably vague and dull.

It doesn't feel right that I should be attacking this band as harshly and callously as I'm doing right now. It's almost like beating a helmet-wearing goober senseless on line at the Special Olympics. It's far too easy to do and just plain cruel. Pity.

It's no surprise then, that the only play this album is going to get at my house is when I use it as a beer coaster. Yes, it really is that terrible an album.