Various

Punk Rock Xmas (1995)

Torgo

Ah, it's the time of year again. Crowded malls, holiday decorations and, of course, punk rock. What better way to celebrate the season than by sitting next to the fire with your hot chocolate and listening to Punk Rock Christmas? Containing a few covers of standards (the Dickies do "Silent Night" while Stiff Little Fingers cover "White Christmas") and a few songs that became punk rock classics (the Ramones' "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)" and Fear's "Fuck Christmas"), it's a fun record that at the very least has replayable novelty.

Starting off on a high note, the Ravers' "Punk Rock Christmas" details what it would be like if the whole country went punk rock for a day with "All those Christmas trees swinging safety pins from their leaves." But the best couplet on the record goes to Pansy Division's "Homo Christmas" (You'll probably get sweaters, underwear and socks / But what you'd really like for Christmas is a nice hard cock"). The Damned and Boquet of Veal are also in full force; I didn't know so many punk bands have Grade-A Christmas related songs under their belt.

Comedy is the center for these songs, and the fun, light tone never really lets up until D.I.'s plodding long, cover of "Mr. Grinch," which brings the record to a grinding halt. But being that we're dealing with punk rock here, the songs are brisk and go by quickly; that one slip-up doesn't ruin its listenability.

An astute reader will notice, being that this came out in 1995, it doesn't include Blink 182's seminal "I Won't Be Home for Christmas." But hey, this is the age of technology! Rip this CD and tack that one at the end (with maybe the Vandals' "Oi to the World" as well), and you have the best collection of songs for a mohawked kid dreading yet another commercialized holiday season.