![APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!](https://static.punknews.org/images/frontpage/fp-1459456194.jpg)
by John Gentile
A ha ha ha! We got you! We got you! The articles that we ran earlier today were all completely fake and not true at all. (Except for the $5 million dollar record one. Buyers, let us know!)
We will resume regular true content right now.