There are certain things you just shouldn’t do. There are unwritten rules and unspoken terms. You don’t drink out of someone else’s glass when you have a cold. When you pick up someone else’s (or your own) CD, you hold it around the edges so that you don’t smudge the bottom. Well here’s a new one: you do not, under any circumstance, write a song about fucking Kelly Osbourne. Come to think of it, I guess all these rules are written now, but you get my point.

Warning: Next Line Of Review Contains Lyrics About Fucking Kelly Osbourne

You were warned. “Over and over, watch Kelly bend over. Cause I’m in a porn, with Kelly Osbourne.” No! If I was a religious man I think I’d probably start praying, but since I’m not I’ll probably just curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep, during which I’m sure I will have night terrors.

Ok, now with that out of the way I can get down to business and talk about the actual CD. Broken Bottles strive to sound like early Social Distortion, however they really can’t nail that sound very well. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but something is definitely missing from the mix. Social D has always had an emotional quality, a genuine sincerity. I’m not going to call these guys dishonest, but sometimes you can’t emulate something without it sounding second rate, this is one of those times.

If you can get past the lyrics (I can’t) the dull music will probably get you. This band could probably improve substantially in the future, I’m sure they have the talent. However, until that happens (and after it happens, really) I’ll keep listening to my Social Distortion albums. Who writes a song about fucking Kelly Osbourne? I need a shower.