The Juliana Theory - Live 10.13.2001 (Cover Artwork)

The Juliana Theory

The Juliana Theory: Live 10.13.2001Live 10.13.2001 (2003)
Tooth & Nail Records

Reviewer Rating: 1.5

Contributed by: maverickScott
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Personal opinion of this band aside, this is just a shameful excuse for a live album. 10 songs? Barely 40 minutes? No encore? From a band who [at the time] had over 30 songs recorded/released, this is just a poor, poor showing, especially considering the band knew they were recording this for a .
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Personal opinion of this band aside, this is just a shameful excuse for a live album. 10 songs? Barely 40 minutes? No encore? From a band who [at the time] had over 30 songs recorded/released, this is just a poor, poor showing, especially considering the band knew they were recording this for a live CD.

The tracklisting breaks down like this - 4 off of Understand This Is A Dream and 6 off of Emotion Is Dead [with one of those being the instrumental "Emotion Is Dead Pt. 1," which doesn't even count]. That's it. No rarities off split CDs or comps. No cover songs. No new material. No surprises. Even if I was a diehard fan, I'd be pissed off at this release. And this was a hometown performance? You have to wonder how much the band skimps on out-of-town crowds.

The worst part is, the music - what little of it there is - doesn't even hold up. While I don't own Emotion Is Dead, I do still have a copy of their first disc, and the 4 songs they play off of it don't even come close to how they were recorded. Notes were missed, guitar effects were super sloppy - even the crowd seems pretty lackluster in the few moments you hear them cheering.

"But Scott," some of you are saying, "it's a live album! It's supposed to have blemishes!" This is true, but the point is this band's live show is mediocre at best - why even bother documenting it? There's plenty more bands out there that are more deserving of live albums that actually put on *exciting* live shows, with surprises on their setlist and all - not just the same ten songs night in and night out.

The CD does have one saving grace, though - it's packaging. The photos are nice and the liner notes written by singer Brett also add a personal touch to a live album that is sorely lacking just that - any human presence.

Duane Joseph
Understand The Dream Is Over

Stream 5 songs here


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
dignin (September 12, 2003)

Why do girls wear so much perfume and make-up? Because they smell and their ugly.

Anonymous (September 11, 2003)

i want to eat your first born child!

Anonymous (September 11, 2003)

i love you guys.

Anonymous (September 11, 2003)

this site sux

Anonymous (September 11, 2003)

the 10 is for that joke, it might not be sensitive, but damn that is funny.

Anonymous (September 10, 2003)

yeah well im the guy who started all the jokes with the how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb joke. so there.

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."

GreenVandal (September 10, 2003)

hahahaha, oh those crazy fats.

I have started a pie revolution!

Anonymous (September 10, 2003)

Why'd the fat chick cross the road?

Who cares, she's fat.


Anonymous (September 10, 2003)


if you havn't interviewed them already, ask them why they won't make me some fucking pie!

Anonymous (September 9, 2003)

mmmm... pie

Anonymous (September 9, 2003)

free dutch apple pie would get me through the doors for a lot of shitty bands. If they had milk for me, id see pretty much any band out there.

well, maybe not JT. Ive seen them before it was like getting kicked in the balls and paying 12 bucks for it.

dignin (September 9, 2003)

I fucking hate pie...just joking, I like it.

Anonymous (September 9, 2003)

I would definetly sit through this band's show if I were given unlimited quantities of free dutch apple pie.

Anonymous (September 9, 2003)

Q: why does nobody like the juliana theory?
A: cause they wont make me some fucking pie!

GreenVandal (September 9, 2003)

Q: Why did Ani Difranco decide to never come back to punknews.org?

A: (insert some sort of reference to Ani Difranco making me pie)

Its to early for me to be funny....you do better.

dignin (September 9, 2003)

fuck this shit, Im never coming back to this site

ani difranco

Anonymous (September 8, 2003)

this is too fucking funny!

GreenVandal (September 8, 2003)


Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: To get to the grocery store to get the ingredients to make my pie...bitch

Anonymous (September 8, 2003)

this score is for the sexist jokes. fucking hysterical.

heres one but tis not sexist:

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?
Earnest Hemingway: to die... alone... in the rain.

GreenVandal (September 8, 2003)

I thought the muffin girl joke was hilarious.

Your jokes do write themselves :)

Q: Why did the woman not go to work?
A: Cuz I wanted a pie

Anonymous (September 8, 2003)

10/13 is my birthday


Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

Those are good. How about these?

Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. More to the point, why was she out of the kitchen!

Q. Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A. Because she's a woman!

oh and Hellen Keller jokes are a completely different category altogether

themuffingirl (September 7, 2003)

"hahaha, the only comment supporting this band is posted by someone w/ the name 'muffingirl'. the jokes just write themselves don't they.

your sense of humour sucks

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

at the dirve in that was stupid

at_the_drive_in_21 (September 7, 2003)

Its not that weird that they release live material 2 years after it was recorded - tons of bands release live albums long after they are recorded - Led Zeppelin for example.

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

OK, we have established that this band sucks more than an asain prostitute, but they are NOT a christian band....Their lead singer was at one time but has obviously fallen from grace with his leather pants and headset mics...No christian would ever subject another person to that...Long live scott stapp!!

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

sexist jokes of the decade:

Q: why don't women wear watches?
A: because there's a clock on the stove!

Q: why do women have small feet?
A: so they can stand closer to the stove!

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

hmmm.....ive seen juliana four times and each time i have seen them they were actually pretty good, with the exception of the last time i saw them with piebald which was mediocre at best. however, this is a sorry excuse for a large album. as scott mentioned, 10 songs and one being the instrumental before the song that generally finsishes up the encore. i just keep repeating to myself, "10 songs?". i dont care if you have a contractual obligation or not. 10 songs??

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

Although I am a big fan of earlier Juliana Theory, everyone I have ever talked to has said that their live shows are a complete disappointment. I think this album is just proof of that. Despite signing to a major label and releasing a total piece of crap, I think Emotion Is Dead is a superbly crafted album.
And for whoever said they are sneaking in Christian messages, TJT has never hidden the fact that they are Christians. I think your close-minded ideals about a band's personal beliefs affecting their music is pretty damn archaic. It is time to grow up and realize other people have different beliefs then you and that is OK.

Anonymous (September 7, 2003)

they must know theyre awful live, so they get choreographed moves to distract the little kids. *sigh*

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

Two eggs are cooking in a frying pan.
One egg says to the other egg
"It's getting hot in here!"
Other egg says
"Holy shit, it's a talking egg!"

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

i just checked the mp3s out

havn't heard the band before, but the live version of that song duane joseph sounds a shitload better than a static lullaby, my chemical romance and 80% of all the long island bands.

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)


their former label didn't even have time to close the deal (releasing this cd) before the band got dropped from their new label.


Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

this band just blows..this christian kid I know once tricked me to go see them.. they played with some opening band that told everyone in the audience to "vote for george bush"... fuck this shit... this isn't punk rock. its cheezy overprodouced music with some sort of secretive christian message. eff that

dignin (September 6, 2003)

alkaline trio is the worst live band, well actually just the worse out of bands I like.

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

I've saw ash live and they were amazing. I've also seen TJT live and although they were horrible, at least they acted like rockstars. Leather pants and acting like douchebags is key to any great live band. Despite all this, Elliot is the worst live band. Ever.

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

i saw them live, they were like an even worse our lady peace, and the shittest live show i'd ever seen, i also saw hopesfall and snapcase at this show...
worst show of my life... and i hate the juliana theory for it

Ted_The_Bellhop (September 6, 2003)

I was a fan of The Juliana Theory when I went to see them but I left the venue with a hatred of them. Their live show was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Luckly, Piebald opened and saved the evening but still....avoid Juilana's live show like the plague.

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

hahaha, the only comment supporting this band is posted by someone w/ the name 'muffingirl'. the jokes just write themselves don't they.

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

I'M FROM PITTSBURGH oops caps lock. juliana theory are so lame. man they got dropped from that major they released 'love' on so fast. fuck them. great album title though. love. hahaha. what a joke. yea this looks like a piss poor live album for any band. fuck strung out live in a dive is fucking 21 songs, including lots of variety and rarities.
ps. i'm from pittsburgh, live 3 blocks from laga, and i would never ever consider going to a juliana theory show

maverick (September 6, 2003)

I doubt Laga's bathrooms come close to the Fireside. No way.


Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

"club laga has fucked up bathrooms."

Fuck yeah they do -- That shit is rank.

- Scott
(Shit everywhere)

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

Lame. Ass. Suck. These are just the first few words that come to mind. This band does indeed perform live with their drummer in a headset and their singer convinced he is Jesus. Hey Juliana Theory: If I told you your shitty music was killing me, would you stop?

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

club laga has fucked up bathrooms

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

to all the people who say the juliana theory is the worst band they've ever seen live:

i was wondering if i could agree with that statement...and then i remembered the night i saw ash. have you ever seen ash?

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

dont be THAT GUY

Anonymous (September 6, 2003)

Iiiiiiii'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm soooooooooooooo pppppppppppuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!! !

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

they had to fulfill a contract with Tooth and Nail for another CD before they could sign to epic, so we have a live cd

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

Im obviously the punkest guy around. I like what everyone else hates. These guys are good song writers and that's why they got signed to a major. Very good indie rock/emo. They are pretty good live too

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

I know nothing about this band............but why release a live album 2 years after it was recorded?

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

I think the fact that the CD has only ten songs and clocks in at under 40 minutes is one of the Cd's strong points. Who would want to waste an hour listening to this shit?

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)


Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

Me - "How do you get an elephant out of a shopping cart in Safeway?"

You - "I don't know."

Me - "Take the S out of Safe and the F out of Way."

You - "The S out of Safe? Okay, Afe. And the F out of Way? There is no F in way. Oh, i get it. There is no f'ing way. Ha. Ha."

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

Q: how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: none. they just sit alone in the dark and cry.

my bad

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

Q: how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: none. they just sit alone in the dark

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

Scott, you have to tell this band how bad they blow during your interview...

themuffingirl (September 5, 2003)

i looked at the track list for this album, that sounds awesome.

FortyMinutesWest (September 5, 2003)

The Berlin Project is everything that is wrong with the Pittsburgh scene rolled into one band.

501 (September 5, 2003)

p.s. kids dont buy the berlin project cd... they blow.

501 (September 5, 2003)

scott you suck... why did you review this. You should have let a fan do it. I know plenty of ablums under 40 mins, and you used youre own name in the review. Dude.... you need to respect somethings. Horrible review. I dont even like this band but you suck for doing that.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

These guys are just terrible live. They wear little headsets and stuff.

I don't know. Emotion is Dead is an OK record, very pop-emo shit or whatever label you wanna smack on it.

Just don't buy this or pay for their show.

Maybe this is why no one will tour Pittsburgh? Because we have these guys and the Berlin Project.

- Scott

themuffingirl (September 5, 2003)

i'm more looking forward to a new album

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

it's weird that this was recorded about 2 years ago and it was just released.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

What do you mean by: "sorely lacking any human presence"?? Didn't you hear the crowd scream "One more song! One more song! One more song!" at the end??

They all love this band, or maybe the crowd was added in digitally??? Either way, this is the worst album put out by TJT.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

It's missing "Constellation". Crap.


Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

i too, feel this was band is the worst band i have EVER seen.

THAT_GUY (September 5, 2003)

I'm not a big fan of theirs, I own Emotion is Dead, and that's their only CD I own. I've also seen them 3 times, but always because they play before a band I wanted to see, and not once have I ever seen them use headsets. Maybe they do in other places, but I personally have NEVER seen a headset in their live performance.

chad (September 5, 2003)

this is just the band screwing tooth and nail and putting out a horrible live cd for their last release.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

a live cd of theirs could never do the tight leather pants and headsets that is their live show!

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

good review. shit band.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

this is by far the worst band i've ever seen. if you think this band is ever slightly good, your taste in music is shit. the end.

Anonymous (September 5, 2003)

But, Scott, why did you even listen to this piece of garbage? You knew it was going to be terrible from the start.


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