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Five Minute Ride

Bathroom Walls... Lipstick Secrets
2004
720

Five Minute Ride - Bathroom Walls... Lipstick Secrets (Cover Artwork)


Review by: Brian
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Published on April 9th 2004

Whoa. These guys pair melodic singing with screams, and it has to be the most original thing since Cedric Bixler walked up to a microphone stand!

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was some point last year was when we all decided we'd had our fill of predictable, fake screamo-ish stuff with its requisite two parts of singing and screaming. Please...put down the crowbar...the horse's corpse is rotting already...

For the most part, it's prototypical stuff, and sounds a lot like post-hardcore contemporaries Beloved, though not as talented, or flat-out good for that matter. This comparison especially goes in the intros of "Desperate Times" and "Don't Look Back," where it's practically grand larceny. Their melodic parts aren't too bad, but the screaming sounds as well-timed as one would expect and trite as a result. You can hear some pretty nice percussion work, though.

To be fair, Five Minute Ride can make a half-decent song. Although, as per their name, they can also make a long song. Unfortunately, it seems they like doing that second thing way more often. For an EP, this thing fucking drags to its finish at the end of twenty-eight minutes. Even though the beginning and end is 'okay,' don't be alarmed if by midway through your attention has completely drifted; it's like asking for a ham sandwich and getting two pieces of stale matzah in return.

That being said, here's some early Passover treats.

MP3s / STREAM
"Bathroom Walls...Lipstick Secrets"
"November in my Soul"






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    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 5:53 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    This is the shittiest shit I've ever shat upon, I heard their old guitaris t died, prolly cause his music was terrible!

    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 at 4:44 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    this SUCKS!!!! IT MAKES ME VIOLENT, I HATE THIS!WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHY?

    I hope the rest of them get into accidents...terrible music.

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, April 12, 2004 at 11:47 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    i love u song send me a free album

    Posted by t-rav on 2004-04-12 21:02:30
    My Score:

    Screamo? Is not even a word..much less it's even whinier counterpart. Music for the broken hearted? Whatever. Perma frowning, tight t-shirts, messenger bags and tattoos you'll regret having in 10 years? Most of it is a fashion show if you ask me. We all fall for it at one point or another...only to realize just how very, very stupid it all is. "Some" of the music is good however, and there are a lot of underrated bands who aren't using this cheap ploy mentioned above to push records...this band, I dunno never heard em. Score is for "emo" kids.

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, April 12, 2004 at 3:15 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    No one gives a shit if you like screamo or emo. No one kares if its out of style ,just commet if the CDs good are not you god damn 4 year old music nazis

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, April 12, 2004 at 7:43 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    It is necessary to hate screamo, cos it blows

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, April 10, 2004 at 12:35 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    i swear the scene is like 1984:
    "Oceania is at war with Estasia, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia."

    we hate screamo. we've always hated screamo.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 9:22 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    too much emo and screamo and sounds like Weezer, godamnit I want punkrock

    Posted by dazed on 2004-04-09 19:00:06
    My Score:

    Why is there so much shit like this being made? Score's for the album name.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 5:49 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    the comment's not THAT funny...there's been way better.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 3:45 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Unofficial comment of the day award...

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 3:11 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    What? Screamo isn't big anymore? Crap.

    Tony Victory

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 2:03 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    he was being sarcastic.

    -Forrest Law

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, April 9, 2004 at 1:29 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    "it has to be the most original thing since Cedric Bixler walked up to a microphone stand!"

    are ya sure you're talking about this band? sounds like anything else that is playing in any high-school kid's borrowed minivan.

    Posted by i-type-poorly on 2004-04-09 13:26:23
    My Score:

    You said it all in the first paragraph, man. It's getting sad now with bands today, when you can look at the album cover and tell with utter confidence what the band sounds like.

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