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Holden Caulfield

The Art of Burning Bridges (2003)
Surprise Attack

Reviewer Rating:

User Rating:

Contributed by: Jesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on May 4th 2004

Bitch, please.

If you're going to name your band after one of the most famous literary characters, you better be good. Another question: why name your straight edge hardcore band after a kid who smoked and drank a lot? Another shitty release from Surprise Attack Records. This one does offer a tad bit of variety. The vocals don't sound like throat cancer, they sound like a seven year old kid with a nail through his foot.

The title of this album sounds way too familiar. Then I realized, it's just a mix of AFI's "The Art of Drowning" and how ever many other bands had something about burning bridges in their titles. It's also a biography about John O'Hara (according to Amazon.com). To be honest, I don't know who John O'Hara is.

I haven't told you what this album sounds like, have I? Well, it's crap. It's your everyday cliché hardcore. Lyrical samples: "Running through the streets I leave destruction in a trail behind me and a smile on my face/Now you and me and this tank of gas are going out there to do it all" from the song "Set Phazers to Kill." Or how about "Sorry About Last Night," where we get such gems as: "I saw it-now it's over. And I'm left here lying in a pool of blood. No turn on red."

I can't take much more of these terrible bands. Something has to change in the music world.

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Anonymous (October 20, 2004)

I still enjoy Salinger's works but I do agree that Joyce is superior. Hell, Joyce is superior to any writer you kids can mention. Try it.

Anonymous (May 19, 2004)

This reviewer is a moron

Anonymous (May 18, 2004)

Actually, this band isn't a straight edge band. Just the singer is. Also, whoever said something about tight shirts is retarded... Where do you draw that conclusion from, the inlay? Stop making assumptions based on limited information.

Other than that, I don't have any comment on the band or music.

Jesse (May 11, 2004)

Okay, you had me until you comined Cobain to Caulfield. No, they are nothing alike, Cobain was a great guy, not an idol, and plus, he's fucking dead, so leave him alone.

Catcher in the Rye is the greatest novel of about the transition from adoloscence ever written.

Anonymous (May 10, 2004)

This is directed to the person below. Salinger is one of the greatest American writers, and his invention, protagnist Holden Caulfield epitomized what it is to be an adolescent. He captured the feelings of yearning and alienation perfectally. To this day we refer to him, so I guess Salinger was a big time hack.Also comparing Joyce to Salinger is ridiculous, they are very different writers. It would be like me saying that no one compares to Hemingway. They are all great and should be evaluated seperatly.
This is completely unrelated but i had this theory that kurt cobain was the real life incarnation of Holden. I'm just curious if anyone else sees the connection.

Anonymous (May 10, 2004)

j.d. salinger is an overrated hack. catcher in the rye was mediocre at best. joyce perfected the style, there isnt much point in ripping it off.

Anonymous (May 9, 2004)

wow... i love a good hardcore band... but this review made me no want to listen to them... at all.

SOYBOMB (May 7, 2004)

"HAHA wow, you're so far off point on your review it's almost funny, other than this release being an ep (only thing that sucks about it) it encompuses what hardcore was......."

Horrible spelling?

Contrived lyricism?

The innate need to wear tight shirts?

Elaborate, please.

Peace,
-SOYBOMB-

Anonymous (May 6, 2004)

haha i seriously dont think they would copy off a horrible band like AFI.

Anonymous (May 6, 2004)

HAHA wow, you're so far off point on your review it's almost funny, other than this release being an ep (only thing that sucks about it) it encompuses what hardcore was.......

Anonymous (May 6, 2004)

The Art of Suck

Jesse (May 5, 2004)

I reviewed a Caulfield song on a 7inch sampler. I thought it was funny having two bands named after him in one review pile.

slippy (May 5, 2004)

The great Detroit punk rock band Caulfield is way better than this shit.

inagreendase (May 4, 2004)

I'm with Soybomb on this one.

Anonymous (May 4, 2004)

Listen to All Hell Breaks Loose...theyre on surprise attack but theyre good

Fuzzy (May 4, 2004)

304core!!!!! Eh, they aren't great, but the singer at least books some awesome shows in Huntington WV.

Anonymous (May 4, 2004)

as a wise woman once said, Revolution begins at home.

SOYBOMB (May 4, 2004)

By the way, introducing the review with "Bitch, please" was a stroke of genius.

Peace,
-SOYBOMB-

Anonymous (May 4, 2004)

i think j.d. salinger should come out from decades of reclusiveness to beat the piss outta the members of this band

SOYBOMB (May 4, 2004)

Oh man,

These recent reviews have been gold.

Peace,
-SOYBOMB-

Anonymous (May 4, 2004)

This band Blows.. But please don't confuse them with an amazing Chicago band "Holdens Catch" cause those guys fucking own you all

sickboi (May 4, 2004)

Score is for the album title. These guys must have turned the originality monitor off.

Jesse (May 4, 2004)

Oh believe me, I've been rocking the Snoop lately.

GYBE (May 4, 2004)

Bitch please, me and Snoop came to give you what you need.

Anonymous (May 4, 2004)

"Cliche hardcore" - nothing like it!

Tried and true,
tested and not new.
Oh, for the love of humanity,
this is the only thing
that
will ever
save my sanity.

Poetry in motion.