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There are certain fundamental questions that the world just may never find out the answer to. Just how did the dinosaurs become extinct 64 million years ago? Did O.J. Simpson actually murder Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman? How many of the 2004 Boston Red Sox made a pact with Kathie Lee Gifford, or as she is sometimes known, Satan, to win the 2004 world series? Why Not? The last of that group of questions doesn’t really fit in there, does it? Just as Why Not’s album fits into a discussion about bands making good albums about as well as Puddle Of Mudd. This is what happens when four guys with no musical talent or vision decide to record an album.

This album is composed of 18 tracks, all very standard fare as far as punk rock is concerned, only sounding like it’s been recorded on somebody’s computer. Yes, this album is self-released, and I will give them the credit of being able to put an album out without the backing of a label, but thousands of bands are in the very same situation, and are able to put out recordings that sound like they took more than one take per song. These songs are really clumsy, with no real direction or flow as the album progresses; it’s all just balls to the wall all the time, only these guys lack the chops to pull that approach off. Many a person have complained about grind and tech metal bands being just noise, despite the obvious intricacies of the music, but this album really is just a ton of noise. Overly simplistic song structures, awful vocals, and dumb to the point of not even being funny song titles all plague this release.

“Preppy,” “Frat Boys Take It Up The Ass,” "Mind On My Toilet,” and “Corporate Coffee Sucks Ass” are just a few examples of their futile attempt to be Dillinger Four. And what would lame song titles be without the lyrics to accompany them? Why Not was really looking out for the potential record buyer in that right, as these lyrics don’t even qualify as sophomoric. Observe: “We’ve got nothin' better to do, so let's go get a new tattoo / I got one and so do you / We all got those new tattoos.” They then proceed to speed up the music repeating the same two lines for the remainder of the song. Honestly, the best part of the album is a pretty funny sound clip called “Cop Car,” but things quickly depreciate from there.

This album is angry, this album is fast, and this album is terrible. These guys would do well to learn some other techniques on their respective instruments to make things at least a bit more interesting, all the while the lead singer can be learning to write lyrics with a bit more class and merit than “fuck the pigs!!!” I’ll accept that from Dr. Dre, not 4 white kids out of Miami who can’t play their instruments.

Somewhere, The Juice is smiling, knowing somebody finally made a record bad enough for murder to seem just a little bit more acceptable.






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    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 at 11:56 PM (EDT)

    you may not like their music , but ive been seeing and enjoying these guys play live for quite a few years and they are fucking hilarious live. They're also a great bunch of guys to hang out and shoot the shit with .

    Also, this was released on a label , it was released on SOFLA records which members of the band also help run.Check them out at http://www.soflarecords.com/

    Posted by ChokingVictim on 2005-07-05 20:11:42

    Funny review.

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-07-05 14:18:06

    Nu-screamo, if you were to throw bands in the lot of an unixestent genre would be bands such as Senses Fail, Hawthorne Heights, and so on, a group which Alexisonfire does not belong in whatsoever.

    And like I've said before, you have to throw Alexisonfire into every argument you have, maybe still thinking the 39th time I'll say, "you know what, BSD is right about Alexisonfire sucking, why didn't I listen the first 38 times he thought so?" Don't hold your breath, pal.

    And you're right, this band isn't posing a threat to people not seeking them out, but I'm not going to raise their score on that basis. This is a truly awful record, no matter who will be seeking this band out, and the score reflects that.

    If BSD wants to continue this argument, or anyone else for that matter, IM me at 'My Rival School.'

    Posted by benz on 2005-07-05 12:28:03

    BSD and Anchors just need to stop. Clearly BSD is picking fights with Anchors all the time, and for some reason Anchors takes the bait every time.

    Why don't you guys get each other's phone numbers or screennames or e-mail addresses and just stop this trash.

    -benz

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 10:09 AM (EDT)

    Nu-screamo is not a genre. Nothing with the prefix "nu" should ever be considered a genre. Nu-metal is the exception that proves the rule because it's such a retarded genre that it fully deserves its retarded name.

    For the record, "mosh-core" and "bro-core" are also not genres. "Apple-core" is currently awaiting a judge's ruling.

    Posted by inagreendase on 2005-07-05 09:38:13

    There is a difference between Heroin and Alexisonfire.

    No kidding, but I think through what Anchors has reviewed, it's rather clear he enjoys both waves, with an emphasis on the earlier one. It's sort of a no-brainer which era bands like Yaphet Kotto and City Of Caterpillar fit.

    Also, giving a 1-star review is equally beneficiary for a band than a lukewarm 2 stars; if the band is described as so bad, some are obviously going to be inclined to check it out just to hear why/how. It's clichéd, yeah, but any publicity is good publicity.

    Posted by jamespastepunk on 2005-07-05 08:42:17

    Anchors vrs BSD

    Round 2!

    In all seriousness, next time you end with a statement like that, you might want to link the review or band in question.

    Also, OJ did kill those two people, its just that it was in Southern California, so he walked. As Steve Colbert put it, the only way you can get convicted in Southern California is by committing the crime in front of the jury.

    Posted by killyouridols on 2005-07-05 06:56:53

    for once, BSD is right.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 4:48 AM (EDT)

    I'm not saying this record's good because it's DIY. I'm saying you come off as a petty asshole for giving it such a bashing since it's not like the music of "Why Not" poses a threat to anyones' ears who isn't already going out of their way to see or hear them.

    -BSD

    PS- Nu-screamo does exist, I think most people would agree with that. There is a difference between Heroin and Alexisonfire.

    PPS- You're bigheaded if you think I'm bothering to really seek you out. You happen to be the one who writes the worst reviews.

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-07-05 03:11:47

    Once again, you run your mouth without the slighest shred of intelligence to back it up.

    1) There's no such thing as "nu-screamo."
    2) I've reviewed albums from every genre this site covers, and hold no biases towards those genres I enjoy more than others.
    3) Being DIY only deserves merit automatically one on level, the fact that it's DIY. This album is garbage, plain and simple. If Rick Rubin produced it, the songs would still be garbage.

    It's pretty pathetic that week, after week, after week you have to attempt to find some sort of flaw in my reviews, or opinions on bands. Make some friends, man, find something else to do with your life, rather than be a jaded, punker than thou messageboard douche.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 2:38 AM (EDT)

    Clearly this band thought they were going to get reviewed by someone who enjoys lo-fi, DIY, jokey punk. Why would a nu-screamo fan be into that? I understand perfectly why Anchors reviewed this. It was sent to him. So why did you guys post it? Does "Why Not" really need to be a band I want to avoid seeing?

    Unless they're incredibly profound, save the published one-star efforts for bands that genuinely deserve to be put-down.

    Otherwise you look like Buddyhead bullies.

    -BSD

    Posted by inagreendase on 2005-07-05 02:10:48

    But very little known lableless band releases a terrible album? Who cares?

    The band who sent in the album for review, I'm sure.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 1:56 AM (EDT)

    holy crap! SIX reviews by anchors this week. look's like someone is taking my suggestions... only four more for the sweep. anyway, good review, i thought it was pretty funny.

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-07-05 01:53:00

    Hey buddy, when you're done nitpicking, overanalyzing, and crying, get back to me.

    I'm sick of explaining myself or my statements to you in half of my reviews. Take it as you will, and if you don't like it, which you wont, because this has nothing to do with old school British punk, than you're not going to change my opinion on the matter.

    Posted by BlAquaCadetZstyles on 2005-07-05 01:41:42

    I know it's fun to hate on shit just for fun sometimes, but do we really need to have this review on the site? Was anyone out there actually thinking about picking this up? I'd understand posting this if it got a positive review, because hey...very little known lableless band releases a great album, that rules. But very little known lableless band releases a terrible album? Who cares?

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 1:39 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    " I’ll accept that from Dr. Dre, not 4 white kids out of Miami who can’t play their instruments. "

    Uh... Well, for one, "fuck the pigs" is an idiotic expression. For two, fuck you for thinking that a black guy who plays NO instruments somehow has more cred. to say said idiotic expression.

    So I basically equate this to you thinking "oh, I expect the blacks from Compton to be ignorant- but not these white kids from Miami!!!"

    Fuck you.

    -BSD