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This band confuses me in the way that a very straight-laced man might become confused when he accidentally sees another man naked in the locker room. He knew that before he really liked naked women, but now he's not so sure if he might like naked men too. A normal course of action would be to reassert his manhood in a way of lifting weights or drinking until he passes out. I'm the same way about my rock'n'roll. I know that I really like bands like Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath (you might not, but you have to deal with the fact that I do). But I've always said that alternative / modern cock rock sucks. The Giraffes, however, straddle the line so that I feel the indistinguishable need to curl up in the fetal position and wrap my body around Led Zeppelin I-IV and the first five Black Sabbath albums.

The attitude is definitely there. Self-described as "sexy metal" by the guitarist, this album is chock full of Jimmy Page riffs and Tony Iommi palm-muting, with the technical ability of Butler and Jones on bass to prove the band's credentials. The drums are spastic and well-trained, though the technical precision of Bonham and the almost-bad distinctive of Ward is missing. Vocally is where I get confused. Though I feel an early Misfits Danzig vibe, this is also where I get stuck feeling this whole cock rock vibe that freaks me out. Well, I think I just put my thumb on it. This album is like Ozzy Osbourne's solo career: Plenty of palm-muting metal riffs, parts that grab you, but nothing remarkable. In fact, it's almost laughable at times, seemingly a shell of the former greats.

Stone Temple Pilots. That's the other one. It feels put together like Stone Temple Pilots. Stone Temple Pilots with some great Zeppelinesque riffs at times. Well, that sums up the Giraffes basically in my book. Nothing mind-blowing, decent to listen to at parts, but overall sort of a let-down. But can you really expect much from a record company that put out the Kidz Bop series?






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    Posted by rkl on 2005-07-20 16:20:22

    jesse, punk rock & technical mastery dont generally go hand in hand. hell, * rock & technical mastery dont have to go hand in hand. you like sabbath(as do i), but tony iommi's guitar work is hardly complex. same could be said for butler/ward.

    Posted by sickboi on 2005-07-20 12:34:22

    Jesse, if you read Ben's blog enough you'd know he openly admits to being a shitty musician.

    Posted by SoupIsGoodFood on 2005-07-20 11:10:11
    My Score:

    Score is for Ben Weasel.

    Posted by Jesse on 2005-07-20 08:42:27

    Ben Weasel is just jealous because he's about as talented as a rock when compared to John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and John Paul Jones. Three of the best and most innovative musicians ever to impact rock 'n roll. All Ben Weasel has ever done is tried to be Joey Ramone, and he even failed at that. Then he whines about not being successful. And tries to play it off as him being modest. Honestly, have you ever read his blog, or more specifically, the liner notes for the upcoming Screeching Weasel album? The dude thinks he invented punk...

    Posted by fistchode on 2005-07-20 03:02:28

    Robert Planet, a smiley fuck
    John Bonnom man, he really sucks
    etc. etc. etc.
    I hate Led Zepplin

    Posted by Jesse on 2005-07-20 00:26:12
    My Score:

    Nope. This score is for Led Zeppelin.

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-07-19 15:07:20

    "Score is for Zeppelin."

    Wow.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 12:37 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Score is for Jethro.

    Posted by jamespastepunk on 2005-07-19 08:39:28
    My Score:

    Score is for Zeppelin.

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 5:56 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    "where the strippers at? where the motherfuckin strippers at!?"

    best line in a giraffes song.

    I guess this is a little too grown up for most tastes, but you kids gotta gotta look outside your puritan suburban scheme of rock at some point. You guys know most of the bands you like love cocaine, and fucking anonymous women in towns they visit. Get over it.

    wyzo

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 3:23 AM (EDT)

    "Speaking of cock rock... anybody like Danko Jones??"

    I love Danko! But I'll admit they are pretty inconsistant. Born a Lion was only half good. The half that was good was killer, but the other half was not so killer. Their newer album, We Sweat Blood, is waaay better. Danko is one of those love 'em or hate 'em groups. There is no in between. Don't let that turn you off of the hard rock n' roll though. Check out some Tricky Woo and fall in love all over again.

    Posted by TheOneTrueBill on 2005-07-19 03:09:36

    Anyone named Geofrey in the band?

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 1:41 AM (EDT)

    I kind of laughed.

    Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-07-19 01:41:46

    actually jesses reviews are pretty good too now that i think about it...

    jesse and sally sittin in a tree

    k-i-s-s-i-n-g

    first comes love, then comes marriage

    then comes brian to kick some ass

    - jones the bones

    - stevejones8770@yahoo.com

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 12:39 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    score is for black sabbath

    Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-07-19 00:37:13

    wait...so this music will make me gay?

    - jones the bones

    - stevejones8770@yahoo.com

    Posted by kirbypuckett on 2005-07-19 00:32:36

    Saw these squares open for Local H...boooooooring.

    - Kirby

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 12:15 AM (EDT)

    Speaking of cock rock... anybody like Danko Jones?? I just listened to that at Ye Olde record store today. Cannot stand it!! I guess I'm not too big on cock rock

    I guess I have seen that naked man in the lockerroom, but it wasn't like I did that overt stare. It was just glance and look up at the lights......

    I've said too much, I need to go do some push-ups.

    -kliph

    Posted by etwiels88 on 2005-07-19 00:10:23

    A normal course of action would be to reassert his manhood in a way of lifting weights or drinking until he passes out.

    Not if he's STRAIGHT-EDGE!!!! FUCK YEAH!

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