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Armalite

Armalite (2006)
No Idea Records

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Contributed by: Brian
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on February 17th 2006

Armalite is a punk rock supergroup of sorts that's been in the makings for three years now, and considering the pedigree here, it's anticipated I'm sure. The band features Atom Goren formerly of the one-man Atom and His Package, Dan Yemin (now currently in his third band, the other two being beloved hardcore punk outfits Lifetime and Paint It Black), Mike McKee formerly of Kill the Man Who Questions and currently of Amateur Party, and Jeff Ziga of True If Destroyed and Affirmative Action Jackson. Thus, the experience here results in a highly intelligent but consistently fun punk rock party.

While Goren handles the vast majority of the vocals here, in the early goings it's McKee and Ziga at the forefront, bringing along a slight Bouncing Souls vibe in turn. However, it's really Goren's goofy whine that propels the music: This is poppy punk rock done very well and fairly unique.

The content of Armalite is probably best described as similar to the structure of Atom and His Package's "The Palestinians Are Not the Same Thing as the Rebel Alliance, Jackass" from 2003's Attention! Blah Blah Blah.; that song was a humorous use of sociological commentary on Goren's part, wrapped up in a Guttermouth-styled musical sense. Armalite is more or less in that vein: A more punk rock Atom and His Package with the same lyrical style of poking fun at the views of society's members, just musically smarter. It's however apparent that the wit in Goren's pen has built since his last release. Vague as it is, he knows how to convey this commentary in an even greater bizarre display of smarts: One of the disc's standouts, "When Nice People Think Dumb Things, Attack, and Vote," offers a chorus of "Always will the homophobics dance to the YMCA? Or at some weird point, does irony kick you in the ass and say 'yeah (yeah), okay, okay;'" it really is, honestly, metaphor at its most profound, as Atom mentions in the liner notes his belief that "a lot of the people who voted in the U.S...are [not] as mean spirited as...the administration they elected; [they're just] not very good critical thinkers." Goren even pairs up an observance with a musing about his diabetes diagnosis in "I Am a Pancreas (I Seek to Understand Me...):" "Ridiculous eating had nothing to do with this! I deserve something worse for that than the die-a-beet-a-ta-tis. / And if you were to look at a photograph, you'd say 'you look so much better now than then.' Then thank you for the retroactive criticism disguised as a compliment."

One minor complaint I might unleash on Armalite is the complete lack of pissed off, baritone howl from Yemin; it's vocal-less from him, in fact. Granted, for Yemin to sing in songs with Goren would be too hilarious of a Jekyll and Hyde juxtaposition to take seriously, but it would be likely to work in songs with McKee and/or Ziga to further make an explosively colored confection of a record. However, Yemin, who plays bass on the album, submits a funny trait of his own: He reportedly stole guitar riffs from "old hardcore bands" and inserted them into the songs. They're hard to pick up on, but his riff in the opening of "Entitled" most certainly recalls Minor Threat's "I Don't Wanna Hear It." It's that and Yemin's sparsely used but always stellar songwriting (see the results of his liner-noted condemnation of "parameters for success shoved down the throats of kids today [...] pressure to get the best grades and the best SAT scores and go to the best schools" in "Unfinished Business") where he does manage to get his say in.

Either way, Armalite is a tons-of-fun disc with a lot to like. It makes multiple critical and poignant societal observances but keeps it upbeat, catchy, and wrapped up pink and pretty in an aggressively ticking package.

MP3s
Entitled
I Am a Pancreas (I Seek to Understand Me...)

STREAM
When Nice People Think Dumb Things, Attack, and Vote

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TheGuwumpkis (February 11, 2010)

5 stars.
Jive Ass Turkey.

gloryhole100 (March 21, 2007)

great catchy songs, both vocalists to me are awesome...could have gone for some yemin backups tho

Anonymous (February 21, 2006)

this record is Paradise (part 2) with Adam singing instead of Dan Yemin, and that being said, it's pretty damn good.

-phdecontrol

Anonymous (February 21, 2006)

We decided to do the massage on the floor in the living room. So I closed the shades and told him to go get the oil out of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom upstairs. I had already laid out a blanket on the floor and had brought over a hand towel and a bath towel. I got undressed down to my boxer briefs, debating in my mind whether or not to take them off too. I told myself that professional massages are usually done nude under a towel or sheet so I took them off. That was a good rationalization, but my cock started to stir after I took them off and was naked in my living room. I laid face down on the floor and reached for the bath towel to cover up. But on second thought, I took the hand towel and just covered my ass with that.

My cock was still swelling as I started to wonder what this massage would lead to. I had a feeling that if I give Wade the go signal he would be all over me. I admit that I was a bit curious, but I didn't really know what I would be willing to do.

I was laid down with my head turned to the side looking away from the staircase when he came in.

"OK, I found the oil, you look ready to get started." He said.

Then he dimmed the lights and kneeled down beside me. " Are you sure you want to keep that towel on?" He asked with a giggle.

"Yeah I think I better," I said with a nervous laugh. "I don't want you to get any ideas."

"Too late for that! But don't worry, I'll be strictly professional like promised"

I closed my eyes as Wade rubbed the first bit of oil into my back. He used quite a bit of oil and got it spread over my back shoulders and neck in long strokes. It felt great and I started relaxing immediately. True to his word the massage was starting very professional and he was actually quite talented. He quickly found knots and took his time to work on them. He worked some oil into my left arm and massaged from the shoulder down to my hand. The massage on my hand was, while strictly professional, still very sensual. He took my hand between his and rubbed it with his palm and then massaged each finger individually. He stroked my middle finger up and down a few times almost like it was a cock. This image got stuck in my mind and I couldn't help but imaging him doing this to my dick. Sure enough I started getting hard again. He repeated the process on my other arm and gave me the same finger treatment on the other side.

I was definitely enjoying this, not only the great massage but also the sexual tension that was in the air. It was exciting.

Then he positioned himself so that he was kneeling on the floor in front of my head and ran his hands up and down my back with long strokes finishing just at the point where the towel covered my ass. It felt great. He continued like this a little more with every stroke going a little further down so that his fingers starting going under the towel slightly. The longer the stroked the more he was leaning over me and I felt his shirt brushing against my head as his fingertips started going over the very top off my ass. I wasn't sure how professional this was but it felt great and my hard-on was swelling even more. The last couple of strokes a finger slid down just the top of my ass crack, not enough to be obviously probing or anything but just enough so that we both were very aware of it.

I was kind of in a dreamy state when he said "OK, I'll move down to your legs now."

I found myself a bit disappointed that he didn't go a little farther, but I didn't say anything.

As he rubbed the oil into my legs he asked me if I was enjoying it so far.

"It's fantastic Wade, you've really got great hands"

"My mouth is even better, but you didn't want to bet for that," He said in his devious voice. I had my eyes closed but I could just see the grin on his face. I couldn't help smiling.

He started on my calves and really worked them over. Then he did my feet, which are normally very ticklish. But he had a firm grip and with the oil it didn't tickle at all. I found the foot massage very sensual like the hands and this did nothing to abate my hard-on, which was really starting to get uncomfortable.

After my feet he started in on my left hamstring and started long strokes up and down the muscles from the back of my knee right up to the bottom of my ass. I wasn't sure how much the little hand towel covered I was pretty sure he could look up between my legs and see my balls. He quickly started going higher on my leg with is thumbs digging in along the muscle and his fingers going up each side of my leg. His right hand was going high up between my legs and I was sure he was getting close to my balls. I was so hard at that moment. I wanted more. On his last stroke up my left leg his fingers brushed lightly against my balls and I inadvertently let out a little "umm"

He moved himself over to work on my right hamstring and as he was moving I spread my legs open further. I guess he took noticed this because this time he straddled my leg instead of kneeling next to it. He repeated the same types of strokes on this side but was even more bold going up onto the bottom of my ass with one hand and high up my in between my legs with the other. The tips of his fingers would just barely touch my nuts at the top of every stroke and I new that he was very aware of it. My breathing was getting heavy. My heart was beating fast and my cock was rock hard.

Anonymous (February 20, 2006)

Silent Storms.... you are correct in pointing out that logical inconsistency. I believe that the root if this misunderstanding lies in the difference in the two bands' reunion status.

SilentStorms (February 20, 2006)

I'm confused, because isn't Lifetime 'technicallly' broken up. Cuz Kid Dynamite was phenom. If so, you can't say that Kid Dynamite doesn't count but Lifetime does. Both bands rocked, but both bands broke up. And also, I dunoo if Sluggo knows, but I Hate Myself and Combat Wounded Veteran were also on No Idea, and they kicked serious ass.

stevejonestherealbones (February 20, 2006)

more like....fagalite...honestly, armalite, or armalite?

- jones thye bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com

Anonymous (February 20, 2006)

Isn't Armalite the company that makes the M-16 rifle.

sirens (February 20, 2006)

O Rly?

vocalyouth (February 20, 2006)

amirite?!

david_arquette (February 20, 2006)

This is not better than Glass & Ashes at all. But it's still good.

swingline (February 20, 2006)

more like amirite, amirite?

Anonymous (February 19, 2006)

this is not better than glass and ashes.

david_arquette (February 18, 2006)

Atom is much cooler than my physics teacher.

davebrave4 (February 18, 2006)

It sounds good, but I think I like each member's own respective band indavidually better than this as a whole.

lol_omg_wtf_nambla (February 18, 2006)

You bought what Dante? A grip? How much are souls going for these days? I'm off to get my hella shit from No Idea like the Bay Area resident I am.

darkstarm (February 18, 2006)

gonna pick this up. dan yemin is the mannnnnnnnnn.

Sluggo (February 18, 2006)

Alex,
They released a 7" called Gateway Handshake last year. It's awesome.

Will,
I know when I threw down that list, I was only talking about recent No Idea releases, because the kid that ragged on No Idea said that this Armalite CD was the "best thing they've released in a looooooong time" or something like that. -but Radon do fucking rule.

Anonymous (February 18, 2006)

I dunno, not too great. Just sounds pretty....meh.

Atom with his package was great though.

Anonymous (February 18, 2006)

artwork for this is sick too. i like the song atom sings on more than the other dude for the most part

greg0rb (February 18, 2006)

Fuck yeah! Atom kicks ass, and like Dante I will buy this just to support him. Of course it sounds like this record is a ton of fun too, so bonus!!
-Greg

givemeamuseumandillfillit (February 18, 2006)

"This may be No Idea's second or third best release ever actually now that i think of it."

Seriously? Wow.
Atom and his package is one of my alltime favorite acts and of course i'm a big fan of mr yemin, but i'm hard pressed to put this into the no idea top 10 and i don't think its likely to be a "slow grower". Don't get me wrong though, its a great cd and i'm absolutley positive it will end up somewhere in the top at my top 5 2006, but to say it's no ideas second or third best release ever is a quite bold statement.

givemeamuseumandillfillit (February 18, 2006)

Yeah, that trapdoor fucking exit record was pretty damn good. Too bad they've been terrible live the last few times i've seen them. It's not that they're just "meh", they're actually just plain out BAD at playing live, and it doesn't seem like they're enjoying it much either, which means they don't tour the states, which means that people don't know them even though they're on no idea.

Anonymous (February 18, 2006)

Actually, my discrimination against French-Canadian stems from my actually dealing with them. Most of them are not very pleasant people. Acadians (East Coast francophones, mainly) are even worse Quebecers. "Frog" is a racist term commonly used in Alberta, where I was born.

-Chinatown

BizzleBrizzle (February 18, 2006)

This may be No Idea's second or third best release ever actually now that i think of it.

Anonymous (February 18, 2006)

I've noticed a lot of anti-French sentiment in your posts Chinatown... Is it sarcasm?

The French/French Canadians are fine people, and discriminating against anyone on the basis of nationality or ethnicity sucks.

-Will

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

FHF is a joke-band. I hate it when frogs try to pretend that they're English.

-Chinatown

ramo (February 17, 2006)

On another note I notice Fifth Hour Hero doesn't get brought up a lot as one of those great No Idea bands (they're on No Idea, right?). I always wondered why that is. I really like their work. It's no Rumbleseat but what is?

-Dante

It's a shame. As one poster said they are the Canadian version of Discount. Seeing Genevieve live is such a treat.

Another No Idea band that hardly gets notice is Trapdoor Fucking Exit. Their new album Crooked Life/Straight World is one of my favs of last year.

Ramo

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Eh, the two Armalite songs up for d/w are merely average. Plus, the singer's voice pisses me off quite a a bit. No Idea is a good, consistent label, but the only masterpieces that it's ever put out were the 2nd and 4th Hot Water Music albums.

-Chinatown

Scruffy (February 17, 2006)

Fat puts out just as much awesome stuff.

bobbett (February 17, 2006)

my favorite record label, hands down. nobody puts out as many above-average (at least) records as consistently as no idea does. this stuff is worth at least an eight out of ten, by the by. it may just be punk/pop-punk, but this is pretty dead on with how i want it to sound like.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

You guys all forgot Radon.

-Will

Scruffy (February 17, 2006)

"It's no Rumbleseat but what is?"
Hot Water Music songs played without distortion?

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

what Cleveland Bound Death Sentence release did they do? All I have is that disc they put out on Lookout! and it has become one of my top records over the years.

~ Alex P.Keaton

Sluggo (February 17, 2006)

"Correct, also Var is probably up there with the friendliest record label owners in the world."

agreed. what other record label owner will exchange e-mails with kids about deciphering incomprehensible lyrics?

hubitcherkokov (February 17, 2006)

Gunmoll's "Board of Rejection" is a few years old, but it's one of my favorites.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Holy Mountain, Asshole Parade, Grabass Charlestons, Rumbleseat, Cleveland Bound Death Sentence, Fiya, New Mexican Disaster Squad/Western Addiction, and Rehasher have all released great stuff through No Idea in the last year and a half.

Correct, also Var is probably up there with the friendliest record label owners in the world.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

I just ordered this and a grip of other No Idea stuff, yesterday. Glad to see it got some positive notes. Honestly I'd buy it just to support Atom.
On another note I notice Fifth Hour Hero doesn't get brought up a lot as one of those great No Idea bands (they're on No Idea, right?). I always wondered why that is. I really like their work. It's no Rumbleseat but what is?
-Dante
----------------------------------------------------

I don't know either. I've heard them referred to as a sort of Canadian Discount, but that's not a bad thing. Alot of people also trash on female-fronted bands for some reason...

Oh yeah, and I've been waiting for this CD for ages. I

BizzleBrizzle (February 17, 2006)

You sure it won't go down in the history books?

I don't think a record needs to be ground breaking to go down in the history books.

In fact some people on this site have given some pretty generic records 10s.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Yeah, fun record!

inagreendase (February 17, 2006)

This is at least 9 worthy, maybe 10 worthy, I think this is also the second time that Brian has reviewed a record and I've felt that he's given it a lot lower score than it deserved.

Well, dude, you're hinting at the possibility of a 10 for what's really a fun pop-punk/punk rock record, but will hardly go down in the history books or what have you.

Dante3000 (February 17, 2006)

BizzleBrizzle (February 17, 2006)

Best No Idea release of all time is definitely Left For Dead's Splitting Heads.

BizzleBrizzle (February 17, 2006)

This is at least 9 worthy, maybe 10 worthy, I think this is also the second time that Brian has reviewed a record and I've felt that he's given it a lot lower score than it deserved.

Sluggo (February 17, 2006)

"best no idea release in a LONGGGGGGGGGG TIME."

are you retarded? this is a good album, but your comment sounds less like it's suggesting that this album is phenomenal, and more like no idea never releases anything good.

Holy Mountain, Asshole Parade, Grabass Charlestons, Rumbleseat, Cleveland Bound Death Sentence, Fiya, New Mexican Disaster Squad/Western Addiction, and Rehasher have all released great stuff through No Idea in the last year and a half.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Amirite?

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

best no idea release in a LONGGGGGGGGGG TIME.

fucking incredible.

shindo (February 17, 2006)

ATOM AND HIS YEMIN!

This is a lot of fun. I'm not sure what kind of staying power it'll have by the end of the year but I appreciate whenever one of these songs shows up in the shuffle.

-adam

etwiels88 (February 17, 2006)

Playing with Loved Ones and None More Black in a couple weeks. Gonna have to check it out.

inagreendase (February 17, 2006)

Yeah, like LMChc says, this is his third current band. Kid Dynamite is my favorite of the three but they're not active like Lt and PIB are.

killyouridols (February 17, 2006)

atom and his package>any other pop punk band

givemeamuseumandillfillit (February 17, 2006)

Definently a bit of a dissapointment, but what can i do? It's a good album.

LMChc (February 17, 2006)

"Dan Yemin (now currently in his third band, the other two being beloved hardcore punk outfits Lifetime and Paint It Black)"

You are going to get a lot of comments about that statement. Especially with all the Kid Dynamite fans on this site."

But... Kid Dynamite broke up. So he's not in the band, because there is no band.

xblakeyoung (February 17, 2006)

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Ian Mackaye's best work to date.

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

Armalite has it's moments.

The bottom line is that it's great to see Atom Goren back in the music scene. And Mike McKee. Kill The Man Who Questions was a great band.

Ramo

Anonymous (February 17, 2006)

This cd has managed to, for at least a day, take the place of the new larry arms on my 'play the shit out of it' winamp playlist.

Sluggo (February 17, 2006)

Oh man....I had just pulled my review of this out and was about to submit it when....bam! Brian posted his.

It is a good review though.

My thoughts though on your complaint: PiB are one of my favorite bands right now, but I liked that he was the only one that didn't sing. It was kind of just a little "yeah, you want it...but we ain't gonna give it to you" thing. And I can appreciate that.

Oh and Brian, if you'd like to see another review, even just to read yourself, I'd be happy to submit it, since it's already written and all.