Punknews.org
The Functional Blackouts - The Severed Tongue Speaks for Everyone [12 inch] (Cover Artwork)

The Functional Blackouts

The Functional Blackouts: The Severed Tongue Speaks for Everyone [12 inch]The Severed Tongue Speaks for Everyone [12 inch] (2006)
Criminal IQ

Reviewer Rating: 4.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Just as noisy and obnoxious as before, the Functional Blackouts are back again with another piece of shit, tin can-sounding record full of "in your face punk attitude." Okay, I don't know who I'm quoting for that, but regardless, these guys know how to make a record. Four chaps from Chicago bang out.
Amazon


Just as noisy and obnoxious as before, the Functional Blackouts are back again with another piece of shit, tin can-sounding record full of "in your face punk attitude." Okay, I don't know who I'm quoting for that, but regardless, these guys know how to make a record. Four chaps from Chicago bang out noisy rock'n'roll influenced by everything from the Germs to the Rolling Stones and the Stooges.

Play it loud enough and you'll probably just get one high-pitched buzz coming out of your speakers in uneven intervals. Turn down the volume and you've got distorted as hell guitar (Ă¡ la Dead Kennedys), heavy rhythm banged out on the skins and bass (Ă¡ la whatever the fuck you want it to be) and screeched vocals just as distorted and indistinguishible as the guitar (Ă¡ la your mom blowing herself, that tramp).

Side F (for 'Functional,' idiot) has got short bursts like "Terrorist Vacuum" and "I'm a Modern Modern Man," reminiscent of angular `70s punk cashed out at high volumes, but it's also got avant-nosie drones tossed into it at the ends of "Gonna Get Cut" and "Train of Naught." I think I hear a saxophone, but what the fuck, right? Can't really hear anything that's going on in this record, but what do you care, bigot? This band's got soooooouuullllll...

It seems like every year I hear another thing about the latest band who sounds "like, totally `77, dude" and I end up hearing some shitty, slick produced trash. You know, I never really considered three-part harmonies layered over seven guitar tracks very punk. The Blackouts (yeah, that's my pet name for 'em) are just some dudes playing music, having fun, and being obnoxious.

And if you thought Side F was crazy...wait 'til you hear Side B (for 'Blackouts,' dipshit). This side kicks off with "No Idea," probably the best track on this thingamajig. Fast, sloppy, angular chords playing stop'n'go and swtiching up and switching off with the drums and bass for the title of 'Who Gets to Do the Sweet Little Fill Right Now.' Side B's also got "Stab Your Back" and "Lucid Things," two tracks that'll give you a hernia, and if they don't, then I'll come down there and give you a hernia. Fuck man, why you gotta make me do that?

In summation, these gentlemen have created a fine specimen of a rock and roll record that'll probably be burnt out by the time this year is over with. Heads up to the Criminal IQ boys: You might need to send me another one before I wear out my grooves.

 

 
People who liked this also liked:
The Black Keys - Rubber FactoryDead Meadow - Old GrowthJeffrey Lewis - 12 Crass SongsAloha - Light WorksVampire Weekend - Vampire WeekendCat Power - JukeboxHex Machine - Run to Earth [12 inch]The Menzingers - A Lesson in the Abuse of Information TechnologyAkimbo - Navigating the BronzeTin Armor - A Better Place Than I Have Been

Please login or register to post comments.What are the benefits of having a Punknews.org account?
  • Share your opinion by posting comments on the stories that interest you
  • Rate music and bands and help shape the weekly top ten
  • Let Punknews.org use your ratings to help you find bands and albums you might like
  • Customize features on the site to get the news the way you want.
Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
FuckYouOiOiOi (June 8, 2006)

you fucking asshole. i bought this shit based on your stupid fucking review. this is shit. you should have said they sound like second-rate Spits ripoffs. jackass.

Jesse (June 1, 2006)

dont use punctuation

Anonymous (June 1, 2006)

dont review music

Jesse (June 1, 2006)

Oh shit! Brian hit it before I could! SNAP!

inagreendase (May 31, 2006)

On that note this site doesn't give enough sevens.

Someone is clearly not reading my reviews...

Anonymous (May 31, 2006)

i'd give this band a 2 -- i like extremes. actually, fuck that i give them a zero

Anonymous (May 31, 2006)

Ha! This is pretty fun stuff, but I don't know about a 9. Maybe an 8 at the most.

On that note this site doesn't give enough sevens. Everything is extremes. Either it's a perfect to near perfect score or an extremely bad one. WHen people see a seven they assume the record sucks, but a 7/10 isn't bad at all. Bah, whatever. It doesn't matter much. I'm just sayin...

gladimnotemo (May 30, 2006)

I really need to pick this up soon. The VEE DEE LP on Criminal IQ is choice.

inagreendase (May 30, 2006)

Bangs was the king of non-sequitur, essentially, or rather, constantly off-topic quips. You feel like you've run a mile after reading a 10-page article of his.

Jesse (May 30, 2006)

Never read the guy. Honestly. Send me a book of his.

darkstarm (May 30, 2006)

I've figured out that Jesse must really like Lester Bangs, cause he writes just like him.

theOneTrueBill (May 30, 2006)

Criminal IQ puts out some great stuff. Too bad there's a Rotten Fruits release in there to spoil it.

nocigar (May 30, 2006)

this album is so sweet

Anonymous (May 30, 2006)

The dead kennedys had distorted guitar? I'm no axe-slinger, but their records always sounded really clean with Ray's surf leads. When I think guitar distortion, I think of someone like Disclose or Forca Macabra.

-Ken

Exclusive Streams

Sponsored


Newest Reviews

Punknews.org Team

Other Places to Go