Jets to Brazil

Jets to Brazil: Four Cornered NightFour Cornered Night (2000)
Jade Tree Records

Reviewer Rating: 4

User Rating:

Contributed by: fatheadfathead
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on October 15th 2001I work too much. The other day, around 6:15 pm, the normal mad dinner rush hit my sandwhich shop with full force. Some new chick decided she had a 'headache' and called off, leaving only me and my worthless, nicotine-fiend of a manager to run the place for the rest of the night. I wasn't feelin.

I work too much.

The other day, around 6:15 pm, the normal mad dinner rush hit my sandwhich shop with full force. Some new chick decided she had a 'headache' and called off, leaving only me and my worthless, nicotine-fiend of a manager to run the place for the rest of the night. I wasn't feeling too hot myself, but I needed the money, so I pushed on. To make things just a little worse, the head manager had taken the stereo home with her, so now I was left to jam to the mall's contemporary rock station all night.

Believe me, one can only take so many John Secada, Backstreet Boys, and Genesis songs. Needless to say, I wasn't the super friendly, nice young gentleman I always try to front to the customers. People could tell I was pissed, so most of them would just take their sandwiches, say 'Thank You', and go sit down. But then - oh but then...

"Hey man. You workin' hard or hardly workin'?" said a voice from the past.

"Workin' hard." I said sternly, because, well, I was.

"Why aren't jammin' to the Jets today?"

"Huh?" I said, looking up.

It was him. The kid who became a chopping block for me not even a month ago. His face had healed up quite a bit, but his ear still looked pretty bad. There was something different about him this time. He wasn't all punked out. Instead, he had a nicely trimmed haircut, some cheesy square glasses, and a Jawbreaker shirt on.

"Nice shirt man!" I said extactly.

"Thanks." he said, smiling. "You know, I did a lot of thinking while I was in the hospital, and I decided to give Jets to Brazil another chance. What do you know, I immidiately became hooked. Their words are just so awesome. Have you got their newest album "Four Cornered Night" yet? Aww man, if you don't have it, you gotta get it. It's a little more pop, a little more mellow than Jawbreaker or the first Jets album, but there's still some rockers on it. I love 'Milk and Apples'.

"Yeah man I got it." I said, trying to pay attention to him and the orders being placed simultaneously.

"I love the words on "Orange Rhyming Dictionary". They're sooo good. I wonder why they put it on the new one instead of the first album?"

"I don't know. That's cool that you like them. They're really good. Well, I gotta get cookin." I said, trying to be as polite as possible to this kid, seeing as how he apparently forgot about me beating him down with a spatchula.

By now, the orders were getting backed up.

"Do you have 'Dear You'? Dude, that's such a great album. One of the best ever. I had to order it online for 35$, but it was worth it. I went into the record store here but they only have 'Bivouac'. Is that one any good? I haven't heard it yet. What about 'Unfun'? I don't have that one either."

"Come on man, you need to move along. I'm trying to work here. Come up and talk after all these customers are gone." I said in a cooking frenzy.

"My friend's got 'Four Cornered Night' on vinyl. Talk about sweet. He found it for only 8$ in Columbus. I bet you wish you found a deal like that, don't ya. I know I do. I think I like the first Jets album a little more than the new one. It's a little too soft for me."

"Fathead, stop talking and start cooking. Don't get behind." my manager screamed.

The grill was sizzling. My manager was screaming. This kid was rambling. N'sync was playing. My nose was running. My head was pounding.

"You know who else I really like, thanks to you? The Get Up Kids. They are awesome!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I snapped again. I grabbed the spatchula, leaped the counter, and decked the kid, AGAIN! I pinned down his arms and proceeded to slap him silly.

"Don't ever say I made you like the Get Up Kids. They fucking suck. Don't ever say that you little piece of shit. Don't ever say...."

In a matter of seconds, the security guards had me cuffed and in the police car. The kid was crying, my manager was flipping out, and everyone in the food court was staring at me. I knew I fucked up this time.

I don't know if God really likes me or what, but just by chance, I stood in front of the same judge who let me off last time.

"You again!" he said.

"Yes sir. It's me."

"Aggrivated assault with a spatchula, AGAIN! Son, this is your second offense. Now I tried to be leaniant and understanding last time, but you better have a damn good reason this time, or you're going away for a while!"

"I'm so sorry, your honor, I was so stressed. So many things all at once, and then this kid said he liked the Get Up Kids because of me, and my manager....."

"Stop right there." the judge said with a shocked look on his face." What did you say? Someone likes the Get Up Kids?!?!? Son, you did the right thing. Balif, let this man go. We can't have vigilantes like this tied up in court cases. He's got to be out there, protecting kids from the dangers of the Koufax, the New Amsterdams, and heaven forbid, the Get Up Kids."

"Thank You sir, Thank You so much! It will never happen again."

"Oh, it better happen again. Fathead, I'm appointing you leader of a new office, The Office of Music Security. From now on, it is your duty. Now don't let me down."

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

AnEpicProblem (April 5, 2010)

Mandatory 5 stars for a Jets to Brazil release.

Donkeykongjr (September 3, 2007)

Thinking too hard shortens your lifespan

MusicIsMyLife (October 23, 2001)

Forget about marrying Fathead.

Jim, will you marry me?

Anonymous (October 23, 2001)

that's gotta be the funniest review ive ever read on here. cant say i agree with the last comment though; with get up kids being my all time favourite band and all, and koufax and new amsterdams being near the top of the list but hey, fathead, a debt of gratitute goes out to you for reviewing a cd/band that is so hard to review. it's like when i try and review fugazi...it all goes wrong!
- jim
www.punk-hq.com

Anonymous (October 23, 2001)

Take a fuckin' joke people. I was just being stupid. I think those bands suck, that doesn't mean you think they suck. God Fucking Damn, my advise to you is to take your Pinto down to Walmart and buy a sense of humor. IT'S JUST A FREEGIN' JOKE!!!!- fathead

MusicIsMyLife (October 22, 2001)

I love ORD. This will never measure up to me. But hey, it's effin Jets. Who cares?

Anonymous (October 22, 2001)

this album is really really good. not quite "ORD" in my opinion though.

i remember reading the first review in this style...i hated it. this is worse. stop trying to be cool. saying how other bands suck has no place in an album review.

coldjuly (October 22, 2001)

Im in my junior year...Ive been in college for almost 5 years and really only completed 3. Such a loser am I.

sickboi (October 22, 2001)

3rd year sophmore? Except for the weight, I think me and Fathead are living the same life in different states...

Anonymous (October 22, 2001)

actually, she posted as i was typing mine. nice try though.- fathead

Anonymous (October 21, 2001)

Fathead, you replied to allison's comment 2 minutes after she posted it.
Do you live at punknews.org ?

Anonymous (October 21, 2001)

...and i'm drunk right now.- fathead king of cyberpunks

MusicIsMyLife (October 21, 2001)

I still want to marry you.

allison

Anonymous (October 21, 2001)

before anyone else proposes, let me tell you a few things about myself. I'm a third year sophomore in college, i smoke way too much pot and drink way too much beer, i suck at drums (but i'm getting better), I haven't been in relationship that's lasted over a month in nearly four years, i'm 170 pounds of chizzled love, and i don't wear underwear.please send future marriage proposals and or booty-calls to jerkface10@hotmail.com.

by the way, thanks for all the comments guys and gals.the open forum of punknews.org is the best thing on the net (excluding on-line gambling,free music, and of course, porno). Oh yeah, I like horseback riding too!!!-
fathead

coldjuly (October 21, 2001)

Look at pimp fathead..scoring some tail. Get em'.

Anonymous (October 21, 2001)

i LOVE jets to brazil.
and yet..
i LOVE get up kids.
so, where does that leave me.
and also, i want to marry you, but seeing as i like get up kids, this wont be possible.
this CD rocks, buy it now, its just... um really furking good. seriously..

MusicIsMyLife (October 20, 2001)

Fathead, will you marry me?

Allison

myboxersarepunkerthanu (October 19, 2001)

funniest
review
ever

coldjuly (October 19, 2001)

And to the no Imaginative dumbasses, Fathead writes great reviews, It's always good to have a little story to go with it.

coldjuly (October 19, 2001)

Yeah they have always been great bands...but I was just trying to let everyone know what chris and adam were up to these days-coldjuly

Anonymous (October 19, 2001)

ok, this has gone on long enough.

Jets to Brazil are Blake's (the lead singer and guitarist for Jawbreaker) new band. They play basically pop-rock with punk and hard rock influences, yet they keep it really original. However, this album slowed down and mellowed out quite a bit(see REVIEW above). There are more ballads, with piano replacing the loud guitars. Of course, the lyrics alone are reason enough to buy the album. I'm soory everyone, but I cant describe them. They still have some punker songs (Milk and Apples, ...and we think we know what you're problem is) but mostly it's an experiamental, alternative sound.

You people need to have a little fun. Whatever happened to buying on a whim. Do you you really need a dumbass college kid to tell you what is good and what to buy every damn time. Make up your own minds. If you laughed, either sarcasticly or for real, I suceeded.- fathead

Anonymous (October 19, 2001)

bitch pleez!

Anonymous (October 19, 2001)

well, seeing as i have never heard anything by this band, I wanted to read the review. So, uhmmm like, what is the album like? What kind of tempo? Me confused,could someone write a review or this album and not a fantasy story?

Anonymous (October 19, 2001)

please dont ever review for pitchfork media. if you ever reviewed jazz half as shitty and retardedly as you review punk rock, i'd have to kill you.

exhaustra (October 18, 2001)

This is in regards to the very first comment made all the way down at the bottom of the page...J-Church and Horace Pinker were great bands BEFORE they had anything to do with Jawbreaker. Chris and Adam barely had anything to do with Blake's songs in Jawbreaker, why would their new bands be any different? Just a thought...

KirbyPuckett (October 18, 2001)

when you said that bands do what they wanna do, and do not care if they please anyone, or something of that nature...

I think my point came across wrong then. Because if a band isn't doing the music for the fans too, then why listen to that shit? A punk band should care about fans, they NEED them to survive, well so does every other band, yada yada...

What I was trying to say, is that the bands aren't out to please everybody. And you should just respect someone for making their choices.

imabigjerk (October 18, 2001)

ive got orange rhyming dictionary....is this one worth buying?

Anonymous (October 18, 2001)

yo kirby, loosen yer panties a little.

Anonymous (October 18, 2001)

Hey fathead, do you do anything besides review albums? You seem to have a new one everyday.

Anonymous (October 18, 2001)

that was a pretty funny review...i definitly think 4 cornered nights is better than "Orange Rhyming Dictionary" though....so much variety...i still think the song "orange rhyming dictionary" could very well have been a "dear you" era Jawbreaker song...

I like the Get Up Kids...the new stuff especially...i think i'm the only one...aw well, to each his own...

Jimi

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

that was excellent. very good writer you are. very good album too. milk and apples is a good song but my favorite on that one is air traffic control.

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

This review sucks. All you did was bash Vagrant bands. And you criticize others for writing reviews that don't describe the album at all....

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

Jazz is cool. I like MMW a lot, i even saw them once. I don't have enough knowledge of theory or jazz music all together to critique it. I think I'll stick to punk rock.

By the way, i don't see how a person who enjoys good, talented music, does not like Miles Davis.-
fathead

sickboi (October 17, 2001)

Is the guy 2 below me a fucking moron? Yeah, we all believe this is true. You are a fucking idiot.

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

i dislike this band but i thin fathead has a right to say anything about any band he wants..don't be so sensitive kid...yes this is directly to that lonely sensitive boy who was bitching about maturity....greenspan is a thief....

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

im is it just me or is this a gut lying ot his fucking ass.I cant beleive you guys actually beleive him

deepfrybonanza (October 17, 2001)

Fathead,

You should write for pitchforkmedia.com... your style would fit right in with theirs. The only problem is that that zine has gotten so pretentious that they've moved beyond indie rock and into jazz...

Daniel
http://www.deepfrybonanza.com

sickboi (October 17, 2001)

I personally am not a Jets to Brazil fan but that review was fucking genious.

coldjuly (October 17, 2001)

Kirby, I understand what your saying, (kinda) but I have to disagree when you said that bands do what they wanna do, and do not care if they please anyone, or something of that nature..a ton of bands go on fan response, Thats how many bands thrive is their fanbase...they wouldnt have one if their music didn't appeal to anyone. But as bands grow, many many fans grow with them. Thats what keeps a lot of these bands around for so long.

But, on the other hand some bands do have that "were gonna do what we want, to hell with what people think" attitude which is cool in some cases. But, I think it's a lot better for a band to evolve with their fans and create new ones along the way.

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

After seeing the video for Fireman in Gadzooks, I went and bought Dear You for 8$ in Camelot Music. Had no idea an album this good could ever go out of print then, but it's obvious what a major lable can do to a bad seller now. - fathead

KirbyPuckett (October 17, 2001)

Good review, until you started bashing another band, and making fun of someone for liking another band. That's just pathetic, sorry.

Because I know you'd get pissed off if someone didn't like Jawbreaker, and beat your ass for liking them. Somewhere down the line I'm sure you've takin shit in high school or else where for being different that the mainstream kids, and even if it didn't get to you, you probably wondered why the hell someone would be so mean, stupid, and close-minded.

Grow up children...Whether you like a band or not, who gives a fuck. That band is doing what they want to do, for their own reasons. They're not playing strictly for you.

Not everyone likes the same music as you, and if they did you'd call that band a "sell-out."

This comment isn't directed towards just one person, but for anyone who chooses to diss a band for doing what they want to do. It's roughly the same thing as calling a fellow student an idiot for choosing computer science as his major, and you choose chemical engineering.

Respect someone elses opinons, you have yours and you'd like them to be honored, do the same.

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

Earlier this year I got "dear you" on cassette from a remote On Cue in lil ol Corinth, MS for 3 bucks...sad thing is they had a few more copies....*sigh* I wish I picked them up too as i could be living high on the hog via e-bay and a few indie kids paychecks...hehe

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

Fathead, you fucking rule. Every time I start to write an album review, you seem to beat me to it and make yours 5 times better. I don't know whether to laud you or punch you in the nuts. Regardless, keep up the good work.

And I like the Get Up Kids, so sue me.

-Scott

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

fathead, where do u live, i went to school in columbus last year.

Anonymous (October 17, 2001)

I would like to say a big THANK YOU to Aubin for extending the New Review side bar to fit all the submissions!!! AUBIN is the coolest Webmaster ever, and a damn good writer if I do say so myself. ROCK ON!- fathead

coldjuly (October 17, 2001)

You'll have to tell that one to your grandkids dude.

coldjuly (October 17, 2001)

Good review..this album kicks ass but then again anything even related to jawbreaker will probably be good..i.e. j-church, horace pinker...