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Witches with Dicks

Manual (2007)
Kiss of Death

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Contributed by: NotPatriotic
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on August 7th 2007

Odds are if you are reading this review you are not cool in the traditional sense of the word. You are/were probably not a star football player in high school. The “hot” girls at your school probably don’t/didn’t sit at your lunch table. You probably hate/hated your high school gym teacher. Exclaiming to your friends, “I had sex with (insert random girl's name here) last night,” is probably a phrase you have said less than twice in your life. You probably wear eccentric band shirts that cause people to give you dirty looks. Witches with Dicks are not a cool band, but that is what makes them so awesome.

Manual is a 20-minute album that evokes a person to jump around and yell fuck a lot through a punk-pop style that is very much Dillinger Four / Off with Their Heads / Broadways-influenced. The opener, “How to Cook 40 Humans” is about kids who never really find a passion in life and fuck up a lot. The lyric, “Are you one of those kids, who’d skate by, never had to apply their heart to something that wasn’t a sure thing,” says it all. The next song, “One Whopper for the Copper” is about police taking rights away from kids. The line, “Your uniform poisons your heart” is one the majority of the punk population should be able to get behind. My favorite song on the album is, “Fuck All Lindseys,” a song that I feel is about wanting to rebel but never really doing such.

In conclusion, Witches with Dicks do a breezy, fun punk rock affair with Manual that might be as cool as the right-side-up of the pillow, but is just as comfortable.

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demian (December 29, 2008)

sick as fuck

acris (August 16, 2008)

I can't get enough of this record. I wish they hadn't broken up.

assgoblin (February 2, 2008)

shitty review. good album

anarchynate (September 16, 2007)

i think it's a pretty killer record...i've been stuck on it for days..
all my love, Nate

Albert_Belle (August 10, 2007)

Hey, I was voted most athletic back in high school. Not everyone on this site were losers growing up. Pretty good album.

ConsolationPrizefighter (August 10, 2007)

Repeated myself. I'm a douche. I wasn't trying to sound cool, I was just trying to be a non-factor for the second time.

ConsolationPrizefighter (August 10, 2007)

I went to high school with their drummer...I should really get around to checking them out haha

ffwoodycock (August 9, 2007)

v no, just the first two, i believe

SilentStorms (August 9, 2007)

Are all the tracks Simpson's quotes?

Anonymous (August 9, 2007)

I heaven't heard this yet but in the debate of best pop-punk albums I didn't like The Ergs! latest as much as Dorkrock and while the Copyrights have some of the best pop-punk songs of the year on their album it isn't overall as strong an album as a whole. J Church takes the cake.

rocktopus (August 8, 2007)

"the Ergs a run for their money for pop-punk album of the year"

Nah mate, I think The Copyrights have got that.

dietcokeofpunk (August 8, 2007)

the first paragraph doesn't describe me at all, but i do like what i've heard from them so far.

ffwoodycock (August 7, 2007)

i fucking love this album. one of the best of the year

Anonymous (August 7, 2007)

Best new album of the year, some of you say? I don't know about that. But it is a pretty solid release and you could do worse than picking it up.

ChokingVictim (August 7, 2007)

fucking love it

skankin_in_the_pit (August 7, 2007)

Great album. It definitely gives the Ergs a run for their money for pop-punk album of the year. I think I prefer this album, though.

halfcutskeleton (August 7, 2007)

This sounds good. I liked the simply straight forward review. I must admit, that name made me want to skip over this review.

hubitcherkokov (August 7, 2007)

Great Simpsons references in a few of their song titles. The name is pretty hilarious as well. I'll have to give them a listen.

LMChc (August 7, 2007)

So... warlocks?

givemeamuseumandillfillit (August 7, 2007)

I'm buying this.

insinceredave (August 7, 2007)

Enjoyable review, I will check this out

Rocktopus (August 7, 2007)

Ha ha.. Great review. Just starting to get into this record. Good stuff.

NotPatriotic (August 7, 2007)

Wowsers, hey thanks punknews for editing my shitty writing. I didn't think you guys would actually put this up. Even though I didn't write that pretentious last sentence the review is cool, my conclusion sucked anyway. I am sorry to any girls who read this review, it was heavily male slanted, as you can see. This review doesn't do the band justice and I don't think the myspace songs do either. This is a really good album, definitely in my top 5 for the year. Now I am anticipating the Red Dons, Epoxies, and Regulations albums.

Anonymous (August 7, 2007)

worst namer ever. alot of hype although wasn't really loving the myspace. will give it another try

Anonymous (August 7, 2007)

Probably the best new album I've heard this year. Everyone discredits these guys saying they sound too much like D4, and while there might be a comparison, they definately have a sound of their own. The only band I'm looking forward to more than these guys at the Fest is Larry Arms. And only for their promised Broadways covers.

istapledmyfoot (August 7, 2007)

fucking catchy

ihateallofyou (August 7, 2007)

Spot on. This band is the new hotness.

Anonymous (August 7, 2007)

that might be either the best or worst band name ever. i'm not sure which yet

ozmanx (August 7, 2007)

I thought it would have lived up to the hype that one user talked about last week. After 3 listens it got pretty boring. Oh well, it's nice background music though.

ConsolationPrizefighter (August 7, 2007)

Turns out I went to high school with their drummer. Shows how much I payed attention to the NH scene.

feeeding5000 (August 7, 2007)

Nice first review, NotPatriotic! I've liked a lot of your comments on stuff, so it's good to see you doing a full review. Hopefully I can find the time (when I'm not sleeping, doing school work, or working at my shitty shitty internship) to review some more. Anyway, that intro paragraph really, truly spoke to me. It's like me, only with slightly less body fat! Hooray for NotPatriotic and real pop-punk.