Band names are crucial selling points. I know in certain genres, it’s cool to have a really shitty name (Dananananaykroyd, you make my head my head hurt). But for the most part, it helps to have a name that either A) sounds cool/attention-grabbing (Anal Cunt), B) says something about your sound/aesthetic (Strike Anywhere), or C) both (The Clash!). Depending on your tastes/psychosexual standing, the Petafylers will either come as a relief or a disappointment, given that their name relates to their sound in a roundabout way.

The Detroit band delivers uncompromising, unchanging punk rock on its self-titled six-song EP in the vein of early Black Flag. The name is meant to be shocking -- and it will net you a few quintuple-takes when you casually mention "Petafylers" at social outings. Same goes for the music -- “Murder Junkies” wants nothing more than to “masturbate on your corpse.” “No More” celebrates anarchy. “V.D.” is about uh…yeah. And so on and so forth. The whole thing comes from the “I can say whatever I want and therefore am punk” train of thought. Which is cool, if you don’t care about, or even know, what words mean. Otherwise, it comes off as kind of stupid. If nihilism is your thang, though, you’re better off just jercle cerking to the Circle Jerks or G.G. Allin. Then again, maybe you should just settle down. Frankly, you’re scaring the neighbors.