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Artist vs Poet

Artist vs Poet (2008)
Fearless Records

Reviewer Rating:

Contributed by: Jelone
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on September 18th 2009

Hey kids! Ya like fun, doncha? Try slamming down some Artist vs Poet, the new EP from *SLAM! BANG! POW!* Artist vs Poet! Fearless Records, the label that gave you Punk Goes Ragtime, Punk Goes Fast Food Jingles and Punk Goes French New Wave Film Scores 1959-1969 Volume Trois, presents this Texan pop act in the vein of All Time Low and Fight Fair. These guys set themselves apart with songs about girls, nasally vocals and a really brightly-colored album cover. It’s totes awesome, kids! KIDS?! LOOK AT ME!

All over-the-top sarcasm aside, Artist vs Poet dabbles in ultra-clean power-pop masquerading as pop-punk. Kenny Vasoli-esque vocals and touches of electronica color up some otherwise drab arrangements, spit-shined by Mike Green (Paramore, Set Your Goals, and, uh, Paris Hilton). Dude’s had a big hand in the next generation of pop-punk, which in a way hurts the band. Artist vs Poet sounds like Paramore without the pipes, hooks or relative “umph,” something made even more apparent thanks to the guy who helmed All We Know Is Failing.

Even by earnest mallpunk standards, Artist vs Poet (a.k.a. Quadrilateral vs Square, a.k.a Thing vs More Specific Thing) is bland, bearing more in common with the Click Five and Tinted Windows than they’d probably care to admit. If there’s such a thing as anti-Orgcore (clean production/vocals, cookie-cutter angsty lyrics, and not sounding like the Lawrence Arms at all), surely this must be it.

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xIxKilledxJesusx (September 22, 2009)

sorry i keep on adding comments, but brian is one of the good ones. another is (i think) tyler.. at least i think thats his real name. i actually cant think of his username on top of my head

xIxKilledxJesusx (September 22, 2009)

for the record i also hate this band, its not about not agreeing

xIxKilledxJesusx (September 22, 2009)

the reason why i bother to look at the reviews is because occasionally a good legitimate review will come through. I still have the right to point out the bad ones, nothing wrong with some criticism to make this site the best music site on the net rather than another stupid clique

Alien (September 21, 2009)

The review makes me want the record..

.. NOT

Jelone (September 21, 2009)

Mike, you beautiful child of light, c'mere. You're like the lovable, wisecracking Nightcrawler to my cantankerous, memory-wiped Wolverine.

Also you have nice eyes.

mikexdude (September 21, 2009)

So what do you like about me? My dashing good looks and vibrant and youthful spunk. Aw, shucks, just give me a hug.

Jelone (September 21, 2009)

-Actually, I don't consider this act to be pop-punk, which I stated as such in the review. For a good pop-punk record, check out the new Teenage Bottlerocket release. Or that glowing Bouncing Souls review, which I wrote.

-Just to echo Mike, everyone can write for this site, which is pretty cool. The only reason I even bothered with AVP is because it was mailed to me. I tend to keep my trap shut when it comes to shitty music, because I know someone out there loves this or that, and I'd rather let the site celebrate music than shut it down. Hell, 9/10 of the stuff I dump on was assigned, not chosen, with an exception here or there (I really do like Set Your Goals, and I really was disappointed by their new album). But given that this EP came out last year, I'm not so sure anyone gave much of a darn anyway.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Ya don't like it? Write a cohesive argument for this album's worth and submit it. But if this is the stuff you're willing to get riled up over, I feel sorry for you, because Artist Vs Poet really is a piece of crap. And if you're just trying to get a rise out of me, congrats. You, a person on the Internet, have successfully ticked off someone else on the Internet. You are a winner.

-Not to get all site pride or whatever, because I've never even met any of the staffers (Sloane is probably the member I best know, and she lives in another flipping country), but I generally dig the staff reviews. I love that Brian gets right to the heart of the matter with his reviews, but I also love that Greg's pieces contain virtually every thought he's ever had about a given artist/album and chart his growth with said musician/music. Both guys give me a great conversation about music, just in different ways.

mikexdude (September 20, 2009)

its pathetic that i knew whos review this was before seeing the name. i feel like a lot of the main reviewers on this site just have their own little caricature personality, as if the org has some image to uphold

If you don't like us, ignore or submit your own reviews. You're just a pathetic little troll who isn't douchey enough to be Sydbarret and not funny enough to be eazyd.

xIxKilledxJesusx (September 20, 2009)

almostpunkenough (September 20, 2009)

we get it, pop punk sucks.

you shtick got old a long time ago.

Jelone (September 20, 2009)

Mikexboobs - I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME.

mikexdude (September 20, 2009)

Jewone - At this point, I'm just fucking with you.

Jelone (September 20, 2009)

Mike - Dude, like 3/4 of my reviews for this site have been 3 stars or higher. So when I shit all over a record, you best believe I mean it. If it makes you feel any better, I'm running out of new ways to explain my distaste for crappy bar bands, with easycore quickly gaining.

mikexdude (September 19, 2009)

*takes a deep breath* Jelone...

RedElephant (September 19, 2009)

horrible horrible fucking band.

what the hell happened to Fearless? do they have ONE decent band nowadays?