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| Funeral DinerThe Wicked2004 Alone 
 Review by: Jesse See others by this writer ![[staff]](/images/icons/staffsticker.gif){kind=icon}
Alone Records (link) Only registered users can post comments 
 
Published on October 22nd 2004
To tell you the truth, with a name like Funeral Diner, I was completely expecting something metalcore. Instead, I got something ambient-esque in the style of Desert City Soundtrack, Murder By Death, or a really lame version of Godspeed! You Black Emperor that breaks into screaming. The thing is, if you're going to have a band like this, they better be damn interesting. No one wants boring instrumentals, and no one wants bands trying to be hardcore when they just really aren't. Especially ones with cheesy synth lines that sounds like bells.
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ok ok ok so this reviewer calls Funeral Diner's synth effects cheesy. Agreed. Jesse is an ignorant and egotistical piece of shit. Admit you don't know what you're talking about and we can all be friends. Isn't that the best solution? Oh maybe not, cuz you fucking suck. Please fire this man - errrr little boy. Accidentally, unintenionally and regrettably I have in the past and today come across some reviews by Jesse. This Jesse guy is blatant and ignorant. Do you even know who Portraits of Past are? Just like how you should be banned for not capitalizing your sentences, and for not using a question mark when one was needed. Bitch and moan all you want, but I've got another bag of CDs to review on their way. how is this kid still writing reviews. "a song about straight edge and how the idea has been tarnished by violence and assholes " also in reference to "all their lyrics being positive almost to the point of being annoying"...here's a list: OK I'll admit that among the droves of bands that sound alike, The Locust stand out, but they try way too hard to do so. Out of all the superbly creative bands out there, to choose the locust is a shame indeed. I never called this band posi-core. That was in reference to The Assistant. Pay attention. It'll get you better grades and make you seem like less of a dolt. "The Locust challenges you with intelligent lyrics and good songwriting?! Clearly you have a warped view of music." it's not even an issue of you not liking the music. fine, the cd isn't that great, whatever. it's an issue of you being completely uninformed, completely ignorant, and trying to pretend that you know what you're talking about when you obviously don't. I'm basing my opinion on both their major full lengths, but moreso on the s/t than the new one. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my We'll Make the Roads By Walking CD booklet in the endless abyss of my room so you'll have to point out where exactly they said "we're a posi-core band"...but i've read over it a few times in my spare time and it's pretty political as well beside the first song...and there's a lot of self-doubt and self-realization and anti-corporations and feminism stuff in it. They definitely are not a posi-core band, though. Posi-core! The hardcore for jocks who like to pretend they give a shit about their friends and their scene! I don't know what lyrics you were reading, but their latest CD was labeled posi-core by them and all the lyrics were positive to the point of almost being annoying. and there went your last shred of credibility Now you just proved how stupid you are. The Locust are not "screamo." Everyone will slap you for that. Take a look at that word. It's a combination of "scream" with "emo." Let's do a checklist for The Locust. Screaming? Check. Emo? No check. Oops. You fucked up. "Listen man, it's a bankrupt genre. I don't want to hear attempts at mixing passionate whininess with anger. It's either songs about girls or songs about death. I'm tired of songs about girls, and songs about death are just as cliché in this day and age. When I listen to hardcore music, I want something that challenges my thought process as well as my tastes in music. Two bands that do this well are The Locust and Akimbo, both offering excellent intelligent lyrics and amazing song writing. I was totally into the whole "screamo" thing a few years back, and lemme tell you, it's boring. There's only so far you can go without sounding like everyone else. Shit man, when everything sounds like everything else, then what's the point of listening to new bands?" havent heard this record, but their split with Welcome to the Plague Year was awesome, but they that record has Seth from Walken on vocals, so that's probably why it rules. Go listen to more Saves the Day, jeez. Listen to more screamo, hunh? "Hey, I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I mean, seriously people, c'mon. Funeral Diner? The Wicked? You can't get any more predictable than those terribly cliché names for anything associated with hardcore. My cousin asked me to toss her salad and put some ranch sauce on it the other day. I'd rather toss salad than listen to this shit. Fuck? No. Fag? That's more like it. Damn, I thought I had it down. I guess I should just practice more. "Was that my appropriate response? Is that how it's supposed to sound?" Hey, I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I mean, seriously people, c'mon. Funeral Diner? The Wicked? You can't get any more predictable than those terribly cliché names for anything associated with hardcore. " losers who are just mad that I insulted their favorite local band " gotta jump on the bandwagon here... funeral diner are a great band. "Why is Jesse such a cockass?" u r a fagget u r soooo ghey go have sex wit buts Well, actually... By the way, I had three published this week, and only this one is catching flak. Has anyone noticed that the people making these comments are losers who are just mad that I insulted their favorite local band and that most times all I get are positive comments from the other staff reviewers? Anchors, you're a shitty human being. Oh, Anchors. has anyone else noticed how a large portion of the comments on jesse's reviews are along the lines of "what the hell are you talking about? you're ignorant."? Dude, Fear Before the March of Flames suck. They're just a bad Blood Brothers rip-off. And as for the Godspeed reference...out of 4 songs, one is an ambient Godspeed rip-off, and another has a long Godspeed intro. That's 2/4. Plus, their press sheet mention Godspeed. mall screamo? since when did a fake ass genre like screamo ever have a "mall" subgenre or whatever. i mean its the worst fucking name for a genre in the first place, and by definition it already is "mall screamo" all screamo is "mall screamo" any self described screamo band is shit anyway Jesse, I'm not an english major or anything, but I'm pretty sure the word is 'champagne.' See the big yellow button that says STAFF? That means they send me records, and then I review them. If records like this were just reviewed by people who like them, then there would only be 8s, 9s, and 10s. oh..OH..."GOOOD" music This band has been around for far longer than any of the mainstream screamo bullshit. "classy emo/screamo" funeral diner are classy emo/screamo and not the cheap lame pop punk/nu metal kind. love this. this review disgusts me...if you knew thing one about what you were talking about, you'd know that this band does what they do amazingly..."a really lame Godspeed You! Black Emperor?!" do you even listen to music at all? what the hell is wrong with you? i can't even respond to this properly because it's so abominable. Yeah, I only use it because people then know what I'm talking about. I hate the word, like I hate hell, and all Montagues. I've talked about that in earlier reviews. Screamo and emo are things that work for maybe five or six bands total. The rest just seem to be derivative. Alright you fuckers, Funeral Diner has been around for much longer than your aforementioned bands, and has the drummer from Portraits of Past - who were the mad shit back in 1994. That's cool if ya don't dig the music, but bashing it because it has screaming is bullshit. There's a difference between Alexisonfire screamo and Off Minor screamo - so try and have an open mind. Booyacka. Screamo is still the worst term ever. Deprogrammed for the good of society? "Anchors is the kid who shits himself over Alexisonfire... " youre so dumb i dunno. this band is/was pretty old screamo stuff. its ok. How the fuck does GY!BE get dragged into this? Don't insult them by even mentioning this band as sounding anything remotely close. "but you're completely unqualified to make reviews on screamo bands" I do apologize, I missed a part. It was supposed to be "sounds like a rip-off of Murder By Death and some shitty screamo band." You really are ignorant...do you know anything about Funeral Diner? they arent metalcore or like murder by death. they play emotional hardcore and are more similar to Pg.99 or Hot Cross than anything else. Anchors is the kid who shits himself over Alexisonfire... This band's aiight. You people, however, make me itch. You're fired! all i said was screaming blows. sorry if thats all you know how to do and you have a shitty screamo band " It's not terrible " murder by death? are you shitting me? you've got to be shitting me. i agree. screeming blows. |
