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 | The Knights of the New CrusadeA Challenge to the Cowards of Christendom2006 Alternative Tentacles 
 Review by: FuckYouOiOiOi See others by this writer Knights Homepage (link) Only registered users can post comments 
 
Published on July 14th 2006
The Knights of the New Crusade are a Christian rock band unlike any other. While most Christian bands draw the line at spreading a 'positive' messge, the Knights not only cross this line -- they blow it into the ground and make these other so-called 'Christain rock' bands look cowardly and phony. They even go as far as to call out and ridicule these 'sellout' Christian bands on the title track in which they mock their detractors: "'You'll never get signed to a major label playing that kind of music.' Good! I don't need that kind of temptation in my life!" Aside from phony Christain bands, they condemn: war ("Some of the people that get on our case for being Knights are under the influence of the same war-mongering demons as the politicians who ignore the commandments that Jesus affirmed"), hypocritical Christain profiteers ("You don't post record earnings by telling people to give their wealth to the poor"), hipsters, hedonistic women ("when I see her around town, she's doing things to make the devil proud"), drugs, divorce and pornography ("let's outlaw divorce and pornography"). They advocate the death penalty and are all-out supporters of Jesus and a literal interpretation of the Bible.
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'Will, seriously, how can you say something like that? Good review, but listen to "What Part Of Thou Shalt Not Kill Don't You Understand" again and you'll note that at the end of the first verse, they condemn the death penalty as well. Not sure why you thought they support it. givemeamuse, Will, seriously, how can you say something like that? i'm not so sure this is a joke cause they're stated objective, to take christianity out of the hands of war mongerers and profiteers, seems pretty sensible. That video: fucking sweet! Also, they're playing at Gilman with the Phenomenauts in September. This is pretty clearly a joke, but they obvioulsy know their bible nonetheless. Just 'cause they can quote some of the ol' Good News doesn't mean they're in the Fallwell camp. The Hold Steady anyone? I'll bet you these guys were raised Christian (as I was) and decided to put some of that otherwise useless knowledge to a fun use. God bless 'em too. Great review, I'll definitely check this out. "Mayhem were Nazis. Boo-urns to ultra-conservative black metal." "Our music may be garbage, but everything in this world is garbage compared to god." I found this album to be rather entertaining. Mayhem were Nazis. Boo-urns to ultra-conservative black metal. being a catholic is still cool The article on their website, from Maximum Rock and Roll is hilarious. Best this was a very very great review. I enjoy your work. Good job. Boba Fett... Before you try to show us all up with what you learned at sunday school, maybe you should take the time to understand that this is a joke band. this shit is fucking awesome. I don't care if it is a joke or not, I love these guys! I'll still laugh either way :D I love this band, they're so nuts and they actually play some really good rock and roll. It IS utterly rediculous... and awesome! this looks so utterly ridiculous and bad oh.. and yeah. it's on alternative tentacles!!! anyone that thinks its serious after they see that, knows nothing. you guys that don't believe this is a joke are fucking dumb. the joke about it is that they're never going to say "THIS IS A JOKE". because then it wouldn't be funny to anyone that actually GETS it. they've researched the joke really well and i guess its kind of like hilarious theater every day they play. I highly doubt this is a joke. Check out the AT website, they even legit responses to peoples "concerns" about them being christians. THey don't try to play out as a joke, they actually seem to have deep religous faith and want to reflect christianity better. For any who doubt the joke, visit their website. It's cheesey camp to the max. All the photos are of them in actual knight suits. And they have an article from Maximum Rock 'n Roll about them up there, with all the swear words crossed out. last comment here: the king james version seems to have translated it incorrectly. ok, so the king james version does translate it 'thou shalt not kill'. i would just liek to point out that as far as i know, the bible never says 'thou shalt not kill'. the actual commandment reads 'thou shalt not murder'. there is a huge difference. the bible does not condemn war or killing in self defense. the isrealites went to war many times in the bible, and god used war to bring about judgement. From the interviews I've heard, they seem pretty serious... Anyone remember the Yuppie Pricks? Irony-core!! Have you heard interviews with the Knights? They sound pretty serious about it, and actually quote obscure bible verses and such. I can't believe how stupid some people are! It's on Alternative Tentacles for fuck's sake! There's no "IF" about it, it IS a joke. It's as blatant as "my mother in law is so fat..." jokes. Jesus! I found the funniest christian pamphlet in the bathroom of the local airport about 2 months ago. Its all about 2 tough-ass truckers finding jesus. It actually has the line, "Shoot, Jimbo! You're going to hell on a greased pole!!" It alone is funnier than the last 10 years of SNL. If it IS a joke, then it's absolutely hilarious. Yeah, it is a joke. Yuppie Pricks, anyone? |
