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Flashlight Brown - Blue (Cover Artwork)

Flashlight Brown

Flashlight Brown: BlueBlue (2006)
EMI Group

Reviewer Rating: 0.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: AnchorsAnchors
(others by this writer | submit your own)

I knew the streak wouldn't last. The last group of albums I've reviewed had been decidedly extremely solid. Some great punk, some great hardcore, and a few things falling in between. Then comes Flashlight Brown. Now, I've declared my love for pop-punk on several occasions. That still stands. It'.
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I knew the streak wouldn't last.

The last group of albums I've reviewed had been decidedly extremely solid. Some great punk, some great hardcore, and a few things falling in between. Then comes Flashlight Brown. Now, I've declared my love for pop-punk on several occasions. That still stands. It'll likely stand for years to come, however, I don't like crappy pop-punk.

This, this is crappy pop punk. There's a few inherent elements that a good pop-punk album must possess. First and foremost, the vocals can't be awful. For whatever reason, New Found Glory's Jordan Pudnik is able to make his nasally delivery work for him, and because of this, NFG has the ability to write some really fun albums. Secondly, the songs can't all sound nearly identical. Pop-punk isn't the most artistically open style of music, I realize this, but bands do find a way to make the songs all have their own identities. Lastly, it can't be too long. Nobody wants to listen to an hour-long pop-punk album, and unfortunately, this is the only concept Flashlight Brown seems to grasp.

The other two, and more important criteria, are gone by the wayside. Singer Fil Bucchino is sorely lacking both in voice and delivery. It's not overly nasal, it's overly in the wrong key, each and every song. He's trying for notes he can't reach, and even in the lower key moments, it sounds amiss. Try and listen to "I'm Not Sorry" without being annoyed in 30 seconds time -- I dare you. It cannot be done. This of course, could be said about 90% of the songs, as they all lack an identity, and they all lack any notion of replay value. And not that lyrics have ever been pop-punk's saving grace, but good god are these bad. Some choice gems would include:

  • "Like if I was retarded, would I even know I was?"
  • "Now some inbred chick's on crack, rocking out to Nickleback."
  • "I knew that she'd be pissed, if she found out I exist"
The members of this band need to go far, far away, and for the good of all we consider music and artistic expression, never, ever return. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

 

 
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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
PMAtill_ImDOA (May 25, 2009)

does any one even know what the fuck happened to this band? they've like dropped off the map or someshit.

Problematiclogic (December 1, 2008)

Flashlight Brownthem.

xjustmyluckx (February 4, 2008)

If you knew anything about this band you would know that they base their lyrics around sarcasm and wittiness and that they are known for their off kilter vocal style. Its not meant to be traditional "pop punk". Its almost an anti-thesis of modern pop punk.

Da_Kootsmeister (October 13, 2006)

hey, this band kicks ass. this album is not as good as My Degeneration, i'll give you that, but that is the fault of their record company, hollywood. they had conflicting interests and flashlight brown dropped them, but if you want a true idea of what this band is listen to My Degeneration, it's good, and the lyrics weren't curbed by hollywood. also, i know what i'm talking about when it comes to this band, i saw them a few years ago, and i WAS a regular on their forum before it closed down. give them a chance and actually listen to their older stuff before making shitty comments about them.

Anonymous (August 14, 2006)

well, that's really strange, usually I agree with anchors more or less, but those songs on their myspace profile aren't that bad, at least not half-a-star-bad, I even find the singers voice to be quite interesting.

Anonymous (August 13, 2006)

Lets all take the reviewers words as gospel! If he thinks this album sucks, it obviously does. He's probably the only review on the planet. He can just listen to the album for us!

If "deep lyrics" are what you're looking for, I agree, this isnt your album.

If "good music" is what your looking for, this is what you want.

Anonymous (August 10, 2006)

i second the earlier notion of gene pool removal for anyone who even remotely enjoys this and is over the age of 14... this is complete shit; brainless, souless, unoriginal, could-be-crafted-by-my-left-ass-cheek-shit.

inagreendase (August 10, 2006)

Second of all, Anchors just admitting to liking A New Found Glory.

Reality check: So does 50% of your overseeing editorial staff.

Anonymous (August 10, 2006)

Fleshlight Brown

RyanRockwell (August 10, 2006)

hey jesse
first of all, blow me, whats wrong with fun sing along pop punk? what should we be listening to? kthxbye :)

almightydanish (August 9, 2006)

I really like Flashlight Brown. Hell, I liked them before they had Brown attached to their name. I'll give this one a chance!

Oh, and by the way, you make it seem like Fil is the main singer....he's not.

drewcifer (August 9, 2006)

Enjoying this shlock is grounds for immediate dismissal from the human gene pool.

Archangel (August 9, 2006)

New Found Glory vocals work for them? That just means that trash overlaps trash to create... that's right... trash-flavored trash.

ChokingVictim (August 9, 2006)

Hahaha.

rkl (August 9, 2006)

Posted by Jesse on 2006-08-09 00:04:57
...

Why am I still here?

so you can pump up your brothers kuntry band.

OH I KILL MYSELF.

Anonymous (August 9, 2006)

I remember this band opening for Mustard Plug in Kalamazoo about 6 years ago and some crusty kid managed to hit the bassist of this band in the eye with a lit cigarette. The kid got chased out of the club and the police were too lazy to chase him so they just let their k9 loose on him. That shit was hilarious.

-Ken

chipsahoycookie (August 9, 2006)

i thought this was lame at first, but i kind of like it. not brilliant or anything by any means, but i guess you would say it's a good guilty pleasure cd.

Jesse (August 9, 2006)

And once again, the masses have managed to embarass themselves.

First of all, to all the people who praise this band:

Get a life. Listen to some real music. It's even sadder when you admit to liking "fun, singalong pop-punk."

Second of all, Anchors just admitting to liking A New Found Glory.

Why am I still here?

inagreendase (August 8, 2006)

I don't know, if the lyrics on the whole album are anything like what Anchors posted, I'd probably give it the same score without even listening.

ChokingVictim (August 8, 2006)

I really enjoyed their last record. This one is also good, but not as good as the last one. It's just very simple, sing along pop punk that isn't to be taken seriously.

Anonymous (August 8, 2006)

Running Season was awesome, and the one prior to that was pretty good. Anything after those two though, blech.

rkl (August 8, 2006)

and this band is terrible, how the fuck are they on a major?

i said the same thing about thursday.

the easy answer is: the masses like crap
the more complex answer will have to be left to someone thats not devoted to getting trashed.

RyanRockwell (August 8, 2006)

I think their first cd is awesome, and this new one is no where even close to a 10, but I find it enjoyable. I do, however, hate the cover art. Also, I understand why people don't like this, I just do!

adam (August 8, 2006)

If anyone's interested here's my review of their prior record:

http://www.punknews.org/review/1868

Too bad this one's getting panned. I haven't heard anything from it yet.

-adam

GlassPipeMurder (August 8, 2006)

I've heard two songs by Flashlight Brown: "Someday" and "Ready to Roll." Both were fantastic. I want to know why this apparently sucks.

almostpunkenough (August 8, 2006)

i consider Anchors to best reviewer here as far as being fair to bands. i'm always suprised by what he likes and doesn't like and most of his reviews get an average score, as most music is average.

other people love to hate on everything while others seem to love every album they hear. Anchors is actually constuctively critical.

and this band is terrible, how the fuck are they on a major?

Anonymous (August 8, 2006)

does anyone remember when this band was called simply FLASHLIGHT...if you can find that cd...then your in for a suprise...

DarrenMcLeod (August 8, 2006)

Usually I agree with you, but for some reason, I actually enjoy this album. Its simple pop-punk that doesn't do anything to seperate itself, but there is some intangible charm that i enjoy.

Anonymous (August 8, 2006)

I find Anchors' reviews to be some of the best on this site. However, Flashlight Brown on the other hand need to give up. Who ACTUALLY listens to bands like these? Seriously.

FatTony (August 8, 2006)

I've never cared for this band, and the few songs I heard from this album did not change my mind.

Anonymous (August 8, 2006)

I like this cd
Ryan rockwell

ticklish (August 8, 2006)

Anchors is fucking dumb. This record is beyond the majority of shit on this site simply because this band is, half the time, making fun of their peers.

Honestly, read this reviewer's back catalogue. He's trashed so much great shit.

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