I knew the streak wouldnít last.
The last group of albums Iíve reviewed had been decidedly extremely solid. Some great punk, some great hardcore, and a few things falling in between. Then comes Flashlight Brown. Now, Iíve declared my love for pop-punk on several occasions. That still stands. Itíll likely stand for years to come, however, I donít like crappy pop-punk.
This, this is crappy pop punk. Thereís a few inherent elements that a good pop-punk album must possess. First and foremost, the vocals canít be awful. For whatever reason, New Found Gloryís Jordan Pudnik is able to make his nasally delivery work for him, and because of this, NFG has the ability to write some really fun albums. Secondly, the songs canít all sound nearly identical. Pop-punk isnít the most artistically open style of music, I realize this, but bands do find a way to make the songs all have their own identities. Lastly, it canít be too long. Nobody wants to listen to an hour-long pop-punk album, and unfortunately, this is the only concept Flashlight Brown seems to grasp.
The other two, and more important criteria, are gone by the wayside. Singer Fil Bucchino is sorely lacking both in voice and delivery. Itís not overly nasal, itís overly in the wrong key, each and every song. Heís trying for notes he canít reach, and even in the lower key moments, it sounds amiss. Try and listen to ďIím Not SorryĒ without being annoyed in 30 seconds time -- I dare you. It cannot be done. This of course, could be said about 90% of the songs, as they all lack an identity, and they all lack any notion of replay value. And not that lyrics have ever been pop-punkís saving grace, but good god are these bad. Some choice gems would include:
- ďLike if I was retarded, would I even know I was?"
- ďNow some inbred chickís on crack, rocking out to Nickleback."
- ďI knew that sheíd be pissed, if she found out I exist"
The members of this band need to go far, far away, and for the good of all we consider music and artistic expression, never, ever return. Good riddance to bad rubbish.