Various - Punk Goes Pop 5 (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review


Punk Goes Pop 5 (2012)


Fearless Records continues to take an epic shit not only on punk but on the rock aspect of music as a whole. Whoever greenlit this travesty of unoriginality deserves nothing but the worst. This series breeds a piss-poor attempt at creativity and innovation, while ensuring the most nasal, whiny and annoying of covers that don't even represent good pop. These bands take shitty songs and make them shittier. I have no qualms with this fodder for Twilight fans but seriously, stop masquerading under the fuckin' punk banner.

It's a carousel of metalcore, electronica, autotune, grindcore or whatever-the-fuck-core that these miserable bands are calling themselves these days...and all that was missing was dubstep. Absolutely nothing on this record is punk. Until I see Anti-Flag, Pennywise, NOFX, Bad Religion, Joyce Manor or One Man Army covering something here that's actually pop, then I'll bite. But until then, having to hear "Grenade" (Bruno Mars) being covered by Memphis May Fire makes me wish I were deaf. Vic Fuentes needs to pack it in and go smoke something with Jonny Craig in hopes of Isles and Glaciers rekindling because his union with Mayday Parade on that Gotye song was atrocious. At least the original had Kimbra naked, but this cover is horrendous.

Breathe Carolina manages to fuck up "Billie Jean" and spit on Michael Jean's grave while Adam Lazarra nailed his coffin shut with that utterly disappointing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" cover by the Maine. Who'd want to cover Justine Beiber or Rihanna? Seriously...who the fuck would? Craig Owens can add his name to the list of fuck-ups here as he royally screws listeners with Coldplay's "Paradise." I would list the rest but they're all disgusting efforts to rake in tween bucks.

Fearless, I applaud you for this ensemble, because these bands have no self-respect nor do they respect punk fans. I don't care if you wanna make this record but leave the punk term out. Then let bands leave their names on this catastrophe. I'm shocked that such bands don't consider a record like this career suicide, but to each his own. If you want the worst record of the year, here it is. Enjoy. I'm just pissed that I couldn't give this a zero!