Starflyer 59 - I Am The Portuguese Blues (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

Starflyer 59

I Am The Portuguese Blues (2004)

Tooth and Nail

Starflyer 59 offers nothing new on this recording. Hell, they don't even have a good name for their band. Every song sounds the same. Seriously. To describe them is to take the spirit of AC/DC and channel it through the worst rip off of The Hives. Every guitar riff has the same rhythm, every bass riff follows the guitars. Samesamesame, boringboringboring.

Even their song titles are boring. "Wake Up Early," "Unlucky," "Teens In Love," "The Big Idea," etc. The only thing salvageable is the title of the album, and even that's iffy.

What irks me about this record is that there are going to be a lot of kids out there who think that this crime against humanity is a good record and worth their purchasing. Take it from me, it's not.

I'm sorry, but I really don't have anything more to say about this band. I wish I could be wittier. I wish I could find something decent about them. I wish I could ramble on and on about certain aspects of their suckiness, but I can't. Their monotonous album has seriously driven away my will to bash them to the complete potential that I can.