The Pink Spiders - Are Taking Over! (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

The Pink Spiders

Are Taking Over! (2004)


This band forgot the second part to their CD title. It in fact in whole reads "The Pink Spiders Are Taking Over the Title of The Next Shitty Band Trying to Ride The Coattails of Garage Rock!" And with a hairstylist credited in their liner notes (Courtney Krampf [salon ya ya]), they are also in the works of renaming themselves "The Pink Scenesters." The cover features all of them wearing retro sunglasses (set perfectly to show off their salon haircuts), hip, matching jean jackets, and a perfect "I'm sooooooo cool" facial expression. And that's how horrible this band is WITHOUT having to listen to their godawful music!

For starters, The Pink Scenesters sound like ever other shitty garage rock band, only they try to throw in elements of hardcore and, at times, rock-a-billy guitars. These extra elements just reinforce the suckage factor times ten. The songs are unoriginal and boring. The lyrics are bland and try to sound obscure while being cool with lines like "And we're burnt out because all the cool girls are dead" or "Continuing mistakes I'm glad I made because everything that hurts converts to lyric." If these lines weren't silly enough, the vocals are usually sung in off-key harmony with a manufactured sassiness meant to get you to think they're cooler than they actual are. Boo hiss boo.

If there's any redeeming quality for this CD, it's the fact that it's short. The seven songs only clock in at about twenty minutes, so if you do happen to listen to it, it would only take minimal amounts of drugs or alcohol to wipe it's memory from your brain. Not that I condone the use of drugs or alcohol, but somethings in life are just that painful. And this record is a great example.