Wow, what a raucous shit-storm this is. Four fat guys with long hair and/or beards made a metal album. Well, I didn't see that one coming. And is it just me, or did these fuckjobs name themselves after a novelty parody of the Intel Inside logo? They list their influences as "Entombed, Sepultura, and old Machine Head." I guess you can guess what it sounds like.

My favorite part is when I imagine kids in huge black pants head banging to this and punching each other in the mosh pit. Or hearing this on some modern rock radio station. Nü-Metal!! Yeah! Rock man! YEAH! I totally love Slipknot too! But I need to keep in touch with my metal roots, so I'm going to list some well thought out "influences." Taken from their press sheet is this lovely quote: "I don't think we relate to a lot of the stuff that's out there right now." Which is why I guess they sound exactly like every other heavy nü-metal band that thinks that they're re-inventing a genre.

But these guys ARE inventive! They have lots of noisy intermissions between their songs! Just like Tool!

Someone go slap these guys until they start playing in a wussy emo band. That will shut these douches up.