Left Behind - Who Wakes Up Like This? (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

Left Behind

Left Behind: Who Wakes Up Like This?

Who Wakes Up Like This? (2004)

Of Cabbages And Kings


0.5
The opening riff of "Savages, Meet Man" has the worst Pearl Jam guitar riff rip-off, complimented by the most predictable moving bass line telltale of a teenage shit-band. Then there's the vocals, of which rely on the style of half growling/shouting/screamaing. You know, fluctuating between Cobain a...

The opening riff of "Savages, Meet Man" has the worst Pearl Jam guitar riff rip-off, complimented by the most predictable moving bass line telltale of a teenage shit-band. Then there's the vocals, of which rely on the style of half growling/shouting/screamaing. You know, fluctuating between Cobain and Rise Against rip-offs. Then there's the metalcore intro to "Are We The Dining Dead?" that makes way for the honey-laced poppy vocal harmonies in the chorus. This is angry rebellion music, meaning: This is what fat girls who can't become cheerleaders listen to because they're social outcasts. You know, the ones in the rave pants with jelly bracelets that used to worship Nirvana and whatever alterna-rock band was preaching to their never-ending spiral of hate and despair, meaning: This is what you listen to when you're mad at your parents for not taking you to the mall so you can contribute to the corporate raping of counter-culture by buying a fuzzy steering wheel cover from Hot Topic. Ughh.

They cite their biggest references as Nirvana, Jawbreaker, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, and the Beatles. Something's amiss. They listed five of the most influential bands respective to the genres they get classified in. Yet, I don't think I've ever heard Robert Plant howling "All my hope has been sold with providence." That doesn't even make sense...

prov·i·dence
n.

  1. Care or preparation in advance; foresight.
  2. Prudent management; economy.
  3. The care, guardianship, and control exercised by a deity; divine direction: "Some sought the key to history in the working of divine providence" (William Ebenstein).*
Yeah buddy, big words don't mean you're deep. The Beatles sung about "yellow-matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye" and being "the walrus," and I'm pretty sure John or Paul never said anything like, "All my dreams have eroded, I'm awake." Get the point?

I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm getting too fancy. I'll restate my position simply:

THIS BAND SUCKS.

* - Definition courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com

P.S. Aren't you proud of me for not making fun of the fact that this band shares their name with a Christian book series?