Instant Camera - Alive On Departure (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

Instant Camera

Alive On Departure (2004)

Wall to Wall

When I think of Louisville, I think of Sluggers. And Lords. And Coliseum. Do I think of mediocre synth-pop acts? Hell naw. Louisville is a place for hard hitters -- namely baseball bats and metal/hardcore acts. But here come Instant Camera, another half-assed indie band with a name just plain enough to be slightly obscure and an album title that is a delightful play on words! Hooray! Move on over Guided By Voices! Take a hike (insert random indie rock group name)! Instant Camera is taking over!

Yeah, taking over the title of the most mediocre album I've ever heard in my life. Up-tempo four chords, two-note keyboard lines, boring, generic vocals. Fake surf-guitar riffs. I could have done without those.

There's nothing that separates Instant Camera from the pack. It's the same band you've seen trying to win the battle of the bands at your neighborhood college. They try to bring the rock, but instead they just bring whatever they grew up listening to and smushed it all together into one huge generic indie rock pie. Is it horrible? Naw. Is it listenable? Nope. So what do we do with it? I've got $5 says that I can dig out that Cal Ripken, Jr. Signature Model from the garage and get some pleasure out of testing the durability of a Compact Disc.

Now, some of you might be thinking that I'm being a little too harsh. Well, you're probably right. By all means this band deserves around a five. That's what mediocre deserves, right? A 4-5? But alas, my grading scale is slightly different. Mediocrity is what is killing music right now, and this latest offense isn't forgivable.

Death to shitty music.