The Never Enders - Air Raid Romance (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

The Never Enders

Air Raid Romance (2005)


I've always wanted to coin my own musical subgenre. I always wanted to give birth to a new term, one that people would eventually steal from me and call their own. With the Never Enders' Air Raid Romance, I've finally found the inspiration I needed to conceive one: "LCD rock." That's LCD as in 'lowest common denominator,' because it's just the type of rock brought here, lowering down to the very trenches of rock itself.

Ever hear one of those albums so clichéd, so formulaic, so demographic specific, you laugh out loud with nearly every passing second? Air Raid Romance is one of those albums. The vocal direction (see: screamed, about seven syllables per line) in the verses of the opener, "Broken," are a direct ripoff of those in the Used's "Maybe Memories," and the tone is set for the rest of the disc: A ridiciulously uproarious, amazingly derivative sing-scream ensemble with just enough big choruses to reel them in, scraping the bottom of the barrel so vigorously you can see wood shavings. I would fully recommend downloading the comedy fest "Love the Way It Hurts" if you can find it; if you're not rolling on the floor when the distortion soaked, super whiny line of "not enoooough" hits home, you're soulless, just like this album.

Our more observant readers, as well as the band's closer followers, will notice the band already have a release under their studded white belts of the same name, an EP titled Air Raid Romance released in 2004. One listen of the full-length in question and you'll see it's because recycling is one of the band's best traits. You should only be allowed to repeat phrases and ideas throughout your songs if it's a concept album, and Romance is far from conceptual, but attempts to be with concurrent themes ad nauseum style of bleeding, alcohol, bullets, and stars. Hey dudes, you forgot hearts! Oh, never mind, there they are.

LCD rock can now begin its abomination of cliché mastery and trendy madness with Air Raid Romance. And unlike the band's name, let's be thankful it does end. The album, anyway...