The Post Office Gals - Esbeohdes (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

The Post Office Gals

Esbeohdes (2006)

On the Rise

The Post Office Gals play a newer style of grindcore you're apt to hear in newer wave frontrunners like the Locust and Daughters. This means short and screamy, minute-long bursts of body spasms that owe more to punk than the type of death metal nearly interchangeable with the style. So while you won't find ultra low, from-the-pits-of-hell bellowing and metaphors for society's decay, you will hear those same hyperactively scaling guitars and see plenty of cheeky, pop culture-referencing long song titles ("Right Click My Heart Save as 'Broken,'" "So Many Issues of Teen People, So Little Time to Masturbate").

On second thought, the POGs are hardly restricted within grind's boundaries. There's a distinctly liberal use of keyboards; sure, the aforementioned Locust are supporters of the instrument, but POGs' technique makes sure they're loud and prominent in the mix, and generally wacky throughout, not to mention absolutely relentless. It also acts as the band's crutch, as they're usually bouncing along paces unusually slow for the genre, especially in the drums, but that's okay, as it gives the band some originality.

POGs' lyrics are hilariously lazy, as well. It's not that this is actually an issue, as with this genre the indecipherable, scratchy roar of the vocalist usually renders them useless, but it's still funny to observe. One song narrates "the only thing that's lame is your fucking goblin cock dangling like bastard Tootsie roll / Haley never saw it coming / dude that was god damn priceless." Another? "GO TEAM!" repeated twice, more or less. There's some honest, simple and pissed off if not intellectually lacking diatribes scattered about though; "You know, these god damn God-loving people have too much faith in 'the guy upstairs' / Think on your own! / The preaching priest is only there to collect your money! / But hey, if you wanna join the false belief club, go ahead, it ain't my life."

Esbeohdes is an utterly tongue-in-cheek, 13-minute display of messing with the rules of an already lawless style, and what it results in is a deliciously messy, chaotic carnival.


Right Click My Heart Save as "Broken"
The Bitter Irony of the Miss Teen New Jersey Pagent [sic]
Good I'm Glad