Size 14 - Size 14 (Cover Artwork)

Size 14

Size 14 (1997)


This is one of the most under-appreciated albums of 1997. In the year of ska-pop, Size 14 put out 14 tracks of pure power-pop bliss. Musically, their sound is so generic, that its hard to decribe. Think 3rd Eye Blind and Sum 41 jamming out at Weezers house. So yeah, musically, this band is nothing special. However, its the lyrics that make this whole thing work.

From beginning to end, this CD is a laugh riot. The first single, "Clare Danes Poster" is an ode to just that. The hook is undeniable- "Im gonna pick up some beer/stay at home/and stare at my Clare Danes poster". So stupid, yet so true. From there, each song is a poppy alt-punk masterpiece. "Sleeping in the Wet Spot", "People Get Really Drunk in Las Vegas" and "Earthquake" are jaded songs to an ex-lover, while songs like "Death Metal Steve" and "Superbabe 2000" are more positive in their view of love. See a pattern here? While the music itself is serious, in that 3rd Eye Blind coffee house kind of way, the lyrics are absolutely absurd. The album isn't a big joke, but it definitely does not take itself too seriously.

So if you are thinking this isn't punk, yeah you are probably right. Its about as punk as say, Blink-182, Sum-41 and Good Charlotte. Still, I encourage you punkers to pick this up and have a good laugh. Most punks I know could relate to songs like "Formula Guy" with lyrics like "I like top 40 radio, the only way to go if your a love song fan". The song totally bashes on the steak-head, frat boy mentality (disclaimer: I do not feel that all frat boys are steak heads, nor do I discourage difference of opinion. The song is just funny.).

In summary, each song is a gem. Whether it be the tortured lament of "Shane" - "Shane, Shane, get out of my brain/My VCR's broken and my hands in pain" or the victorious strains of "I touched Her Ass" - " I touched her ass/ and it felt like heaven", each song is a keeper, and the album never hits a low point. Even the last track, which is nothing more than an answering machine recording, is hilarious. I highly suggest getting this disc. Recommended if you like: Weezer, Sum-41, The Vandals, Ozma, Mest