Boys with Xray Eyes - Oh My! How We Terrify (Cover Artwork)
Staff Review

Boys with Xray Eyes

Oh My! How We Terrify (2010)


Oh, greeeeat. More sloppy, watered-down Every Time I Die rehashing, this time with what seems like some Blood Brothers influence. Now, I love(d) the Blood Brothers, but there's a fine line in nodding to their chaotic, sharp style, and Boys with Xray Eyes lean heavily into the more annoying and creativity-sapped side.

Seriously, just eh. There's no real bite to the marble-mouthed bark on this, their Oh My! How We Terrify EP, and the interplay of Gallows/BB-esque guitars are trying, but ultimately convey no feelings from me but shoulder shrugs. A muffled recording really doesn't help matters.

"Electro the Human Lightning Bolt" sounds like a thinner, incredibly boring version of pre-Anti Mother Norma Jean, save the unimpressive melodic vocal counterparts. And despite only being 3:48, it just feels like the fucking song goes on and on and on. Get it the fuck over with, ugh. The songs average like four minutes apiece and the fact that they're so uninteresting just makes them drag on so much longer. Just trying to get through this entire EP several times requires remarkable patience. If it wasn't for that mildly interesting tempo change in the closing title track I may have seriously bashed my head through this desk.

There's some meh-tastic Glassjaw-ish moments in "The Weatherman," which aren't terribly surprising and certainly not greatly utilized. What exactly is a "musical whore," anyway? I can't help but crack up after the banal "OH!" grunt in "Sickest Bar in Town," too. If BWXE were doing parody metalcore it'd be spot on, but I'm afraid it isn't the case.

These dudes are handled by Escape Artist Management, but based on this release I think the company forgot the "-ry" part in "Artist." Pass.

Hot Rod
Oh My! How We Terrify