Sacramento's dorkiest punk–band, the SECRETIONS, are coming at you Faster Than The Speed Of Drunk to drink your beer, eat your ramen, fight your zombies, steal your energy drinks, murder your neighbors, pop a boner, stand up for the freaks, and leave sugar–encrusted tire–track donuts on your front–lawn!

In the world of the SECRETIONS, the classic themes of "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" are accompanied with those of caffeine, workplace sabotage, wrestling, zombies, and road–fever. Inspired by THE RAMONES, THE QUEERS, MOTORHEAD, and THE GERMS, these survivors and staples of the Northern California punk rock scene have tirelessly upheld their vision of timeless three chord punk since 1991. Founding members Mickie Rat (bass, vocals) and Danny Secretion (drums, vocals), along with guitarist Paul Filthy, are revving up Lemmy (their 1991 Dodge Ram van) and leaving skid–marks on the ears of hypercharged geeks, misfit freaks and mohawked milquetoast listeners everywhere!