Hey kids! Ya like fun, doncha? Try slamming down some Artist vs Poet, the new EP from *SLAM! BANG! POW!* Artist vs Poet! Fearless Records, the label that gave you Punk Goes Ragtime, Punk Goes Fast Food Jingles and Punk Goes French New Wave Film Scores 1959-1969 Volume Trois, presents this Texan pop act in the vein of All Time Low and Fight Fair. These guys set themselves apart with songs about girls, nasally vocals and a really brightly-colored album cover. It's totes awesome, kids! KIDS?! LOOK AT ME!

All over-the-top sarcasm aside, Artist vs Poet dabbles in ultra-clean power-pop masquerading as pop-punk. Kenny Vasoli-esque vocals and touches of electronica color up some otherwise drab arrangements, spit-shined by Mike Green (Paramore, Set Your Goals, and, uh, Paris Hilton). Dude's had a big hand in the next generation of pop-punk, which in a way hurts the band. Artist vs Poet sounds like Paramore without the pipes, hooks or relative "umph," something made even more apparent thanks to the guy who helmed All We Know Is Failing.

Even by earnest mallpunk standards, Artist vs Poet (a.k.a. Quadrilateral vs Square, a.k.a Thing vs More Specific Thing) is bland, bearing more in common with the Click Five and Tinted Windows than they'd probably care to admit. If there's such a thing as anti-Orgcore (clean production/vocals, cookie-cutter angsty lyrics, and not sounding like the Lawrence Arms at all), surely this must be it.