HORSE the Band

Dante3000 and the SoundScene Revolution crew recently visited San Francisco's Tenderloin where they had the chance to speak with California natives HORSE the Band regarding everything from their new Pizza EP, to why their label, Combat Records, is retarded and even more juicy Underoath gossip. You can hear the full audio of the interview, along with cuts (ouch) of the Pizza EP, at Sound Scene Revolution. The site will also be running a contest where two lucky winners will receive a copy of the Pizza EP courtesy of HORSE the Band. Apparently, the band and Dante don't know when to quit, so we're running this one in two parts. It's hard to sum up exactly what happens but read on and find out why "We're so going to hell for this."

We've never been heckled. I mean you have to respect this [music] and people do.

So we're in the back of the Warfield with a couple of members of HORSE the Band, if you guys could say hello. Erik: Hi.

Alright, if you want to introduce yourselves and what you do in the band. Erik: I'm Erik. (Long pause)

What do you do in the band Erik? Erik: I'm the keyboard player.

Nathan: My name's Nathan and I'm the lyricist and other stuff.

Erik: He just writes the lyrics and then we have another person [sing them].

Nathan: And every so often I'll lay my unconscious body on an underage woman.

I'm not sure if that counts as "what you do in the band". N: They wanted somebody to do it.

Alright, so I guess the best place to star… N: Fuck you! (Laughs) I'm sorry. No, I'm not really sorry, keep going.

So, the best place to start what's probably the question you get asked the mo… E: "Are you Napoleon Dynamite?" (Everyone breaks out in laughter)

N: Number one question, "Is your keyboard player Napoleon Dynamite?"

Seriously, do people ask you that? E: No, here's the number one question, "Have you ever heard this before? You kinda look like Napoleon Dynamite."

Well is there a standard interview question that you're tired of hearing at this point? N: "How do you feel about Nintendo-core?" "What's your favorite Nintendo game?" "Where does the name HORSE the Band come from?"

I've been going over interviews with you guys and I must have read that like 40 times. N: Should have read it 50. What's funny is our new drummer asked us today.

E: Fuck that guy.

N: He asked me and I was like, "I wasn't in the band then". Then he asked Dave, our guitar player, who was in the band then and he said "I don't know". Then he asked Erik, who was in the band then, and he said (high pitched voice, imitating Erik), "I don't know. Shut up". I didn't think he sounded like that. N: Actually, he was asleep, I just filled in the blank. Ahhhh…(goes on for about 10 seconds) Shut up! (Laughs)

We can take that out in post [production]. N: Post this.

So, how did you guys get the opening spot for Dragon…(to Nathan) are you taking your pants off? N: (laughing) No, dog.

So how did you land the opening spot for the Dragonforce tour? N: They fucking love us.

E: That's actually true.

N: That's actually a pretty good explanation.

They love you? So they like called you guys up and said, "We need you"? E: The keyboard player, who must be really stupid, told me today that I am better than him. Which is not true, at all.

That's got to feel pretty good, even if it's not true. N: Well, from an outsiders perspective, there's a lot of keyboard players in a lot of bands who play like classical style. Erik plays a different style and you can be trained as much as you want and you can't play like Erik

E: Thanks man.

N: Yeah, you fucking whore. (Laughs)

Is this the first show of the tour thus far? N: No.

E: It's the second.

N: Number two.

All [Dragonforce fans] listen to are Dragonforce, Tool and Opeth.

How have the fans be responding to you guys? N: The fans are gay. (Laughs)

All fans or just Dragonforce fans? N: Dragonforce fans. All they listen to are Dragonforce, Tool and Opeth. (Laughs)

That's got to be kind of awkward because you are neither of those three bands. Do you get heckled when you go out there? N: Naw (burps, and begins, what looks like putting the mic down his pants).

E: (laughing) We've never been heckled. I mean you have to respect this [music] and people do.

It takes a lot of courage to get up there. No, if it's one thing music fans aren't it's respectful of other bands. N: No, their fans really aren't cool at all. I don't really like any of them.

E: GWAR fans are better at heckling than Dragonforce fans.

N: [GWAR fans] are probably more degenerate but more acute when it comes to wise cracking remarks.

I imagine GWAR fans could be kind of frightening if they don't like you. E: GWAR fans don't like music, so it's kind of weird.

N: You just got to picture a fat guy, with a patchily formed goatee, that's formed in little splotches going, (in a high pitched voice) "Dude! Salaminizer!" (Erik laughs) Where at these shows it's a guy with a little tiny mustache and a thin goatee that he can barely grow going (even higher pitched) "Dragonforce! Dragonforce! You guys don't play any sweet guitar harmonies."

I notice, and maybe it's only because you have the full beard going, you don't seem to like people with the little tiny goatees and mustache. Is it a "go big or go home" kind of thing? N: It's not really "go big or go home" it's just if you were born a girl wear a dress. (laughs and begins adjusting pants again)

I'm just trying to do anything to keep you from putting our mic back down your pants. Any questions I can ask at this point…Can I ask you to not put our mic down your pants? N: I'm buttoning up my pants.

Sound Guy Nariman: The guy from Dr. Know had his mouth all over that the other day. Hernandez.

E: Hernandez?

N: Well, you can tell Hernandez his mouth has been on my wiener now.

E: If time went backwards.

N: Dr. Naw Dog.

If you were born a girl wear a dress.

We'll call him about that. N: Can we? Because I would personally call him. I'd be like "Hey, Dr. Thanks for Not Ever Being a Band." I have no idea what I'm saying. Don't ever follow my lead.

Recently you guys updated your website and on that update it says, and I'm quoting, "Sometimes it's hard to believe how many douche bags there are in the world. Most of them are bands on Warped Tour". Were there any bands in particular that you were talking about or just a general atmosphere? N: The statement made basically based off of music and performance and face alone. E: And clothes. Sunglasses.

N: Lifestyle.

E: Yeah. I mean, it was pretty much every single band.

N: Did I say face already? The only band I give any credit to on that tour was The Valiant Thorr. They have beards. But after listening to their CD twice I don't like them anymore.

At least one of the guys in Underoath had a beard, pretty sure it was the keyboard player. N: I'm pretty sure that they praise Jesus and died.

E: Something happened, they weren't on the tour when we were.

N: The singer quit the band because he started doing rails of coke. I was told this by a member of the band. I'm pretty sure Underoath is done because of drug addiction.

E: We're actually really sure about that. We're the definitive statement on what happened.

N: I'm speaking the truth.

E: Everyone's trying to not get it out there.

N: It's bad to spread rumors about bands but Nathan Winneke Says that Underoath is done because of drug addiction.

Tune in next week for more hilarity, including…well, you'll just have to wait and see.