Lewd Acts
Contributed by ben_conoley, Posted by Deathwish Inc. Dispatches

We're excited to be introducing a new feature here at Punknews - Dispatches. Starting tonight we will be bringing you tour blogs from a number of bands as they tour North America, Europe, Asia and the world over. Each week we hope to have one or two bands bringing you stories from the road.

Our first installment comes from San Diego's Lewd Acts, who are currently touring the United States. The band released a split 7" with Hour of the Wolf in 2008 and is preparing to release a new full length on Deathwish in the near future. The band's vocalist, Tyler Densley, checks in today with a recap on the weekend.

11:30 AM (8:30 at home)

We've spend the past 10 days in Boston (Pronounced: Baw-stun). Yesterday we picked up our brothers from the airport and made our way to Haverhill (Pronounced: Hay-vreal), which is about 45 minutes from Boston. It took us about 2 hours to get there with traffic and Taco Bell stops. Upon arrival, I walked the bitterly cold streets in search of a little bar called The Peddler's Daughter, which I went to the last time we played Haverhill. I drank a small bottle of Cisco on the walk, to keep me warm. Not worried about any law enforcement folks, seeing as Cisco bottles look more like salad dressing that booze. Upon my arrival, my glasses fogged up and I asked the barkeep for a shot of Jameson. The whiskey battled the bum wine for my taste buds. Neither won, they just sat together disgustingly in the cuts and bumps on my tongue. I ordered an IPA to get the taste of everything out of my mouth. I ordered another shot to get the taste of everything out of my head.
No one in the entire place made eye contact with me until I locked eyes with a curiously dressed fella. He had on some sort of a visor and a yellow polo shirt. Behind him was a great big sea of green, well kept grass. He had a great big following of equally ill dressed worshipers. They kept their distance, however, standing feet and sometimes yards away from him. Making sure to keep very quite any time he was in concentration. When I realized that the most interesting thing in the bar was the giant flat-screen television tuned to a golf tournament, I had one last shot, payed my bill, and had a smoke on the way back to the show.

12:08 AM

I sit by myself in a Thai restaurant, waiting for my vegetarian yellow curry. I can't wait for the coconut milk and potatoes to grace my taste buds. I am completely alone in the restaurant. "It for here?" The lady at the counter asks me. I think they might be trying to close. I look around and respond, "Oh, I can leave."
The bathroom here is real nice. After I order, I set my water down at a table and took a piss. Not at the table, or in my water, but in the nice bathroom.
I wonder where the other fellas are. Last I saw them, they were gearing up to eat sandwiches, as I walked passed in my pursuit of my own eatery.
Now that I have my meal, I'm like a virgin at the first sight of pussy. Practically afraid to even taste, in fear of the pleasure that I might feel. For a moment I contemplate fucking my curry in the nice bathroom, but I come to my senses. Finish my sentence. And try my food.

1:03 PM

My feet are freezing.

1:39 PM

On the L train, a class of 8 year-old kids to my left, a bald albino to my right, I notice a small oval of urine on my pants. I'm trying to not look at the map on the opposite wall… god forbid someone know I'm an outsider. So I keep my head down, even if I'm going in the wrong direction.
The albino has yellow and maroon shoes with skulls and pistons painted on them.
The sway of the train slithering it's way through the city's colon only makes my headache worsen. My train of though is derailed. The whiskey and cocaine are sitting in my belly, causing me to fidget in search of a sitting position that will keep me from shitting my pants.