Restorations vs. Off With Their Heads

Restorations have two things in common with Off With Their Heads. Gravely vocals and some pretty intense lyrics. Restorations though may not as be as high-energy punk but they stand taller because there are few bands doing that mature-rock shtick and doing it so well. They've got everything they need right here and what's a bigger sell, is that no matter if you're a fan or not, you've heard how infectious and moving their shows are. Dad rock? Maybe. Badass? Definitely. Restorations are that band you wanna gear down with and self-reflect about how hard life is fucking with you at the moment. This is Sting vs. Undertaker, in their prime. You're kinda rooting for both. -Renaldo Matadeen

If you have been keeping up with Ryan Young’s Anxious & Angry podcast you know that Off With Their Heads has not been touring as extensively as they have in the past. So who knows when they’ll be back to perform in your town? That alone is a good reason to go see Off With Their Heads at Fest this year. I had the pleasure of seeing them with The Menzingers a year ago and they put on a really great show. But I have a feeling that their performance at Fest this year will extra special. Fest has a way of bringing the best performances out of bands. You won’t want theirs. A part of me is sorry I’ll be missing their next LA show for It’s Not Dead Fest in October. -Ricky Frankel

RiverBoat Gamblers vs. Black Tower

G-A-M-B-L-E-R – you can spell, Right? Denton’s Riverboat Gamblers have been tearing it up for over a decade, and their live spectacles definitely precede them. Equal parts sing-along and aerobic workout, frontman Mike Wiebe will make sure that your energy isn’t wasted. They don’t waste a calorie, and nor will you. -Mark Little

There's nothing I like better than working on my van and rockin' out to pumpin' heavy metal! Black Tower is head-banging music! You can bet that I'll have my fist and head out the window of my van, shouting the lyrics of this band all the way to Fest this year. This is a must see for me because I came to rock! -Gene the Van Guy

Tim Barry vs. Chris Farren

This is Fest. Tim Barry was in Avail. Here is my argument as to why you should see Tim Barry, who was in Avail, at Fest: Tim Barry. Tim. Barry. Tim Barry. Tiiiiim Baaaaaarrrrryyyyyyy. TIM! BAR! RY!!! I rest my case. -Charles Winter

Don't miss a chance to see everyone's favorite punk rock celebrity in the flesh. Chris Farren's crooning will make your heart flutter. Plus he always has a funny story or two to share. -Brittany Strummer

Desaparecidos vs. Mustard Plug

When all’s said and done I predict Desaparecidos will reign the true kings of Fest 14. Having just released Payola, their sophomore album and first LP in 13 years (oh, and one of the best punk albums of 2015), Desaparecidos remained in hibernation during almost the entire Fest era. Like a grizzly bear roused from a long winter slumber, Conor Oberst and company are due to show up to Gainesville ready to kill. And who’s to say when the next lengthy hiatus might occur? In my professional opinion it’s a no-brainer: Desaparecidos’ set is a can’t-miss. -Mitch Paglia

Awwwww…. Desaparecidos… they're a very kinda emo-ish, kinda-indie, kinda-nice band. Sure, they'll political, but you know who else is politcial? Mustard Plug. And, they play ska- you know, the best form of music there is. Why get sad and weepy with your friends at FEST, which is supposed to be good times, when you can pick it up, pick it up, pick it up! -Julie Tsay

Title Fight v. Sidekicks

Don't listen to what anyone says. Title Fight is an easy choice over The Sidekicks. Who put out Hyperview? Title Fight did. 'nuff said. -Trevor Pulanski

This is an easy win for The Sidekicks. They're Floyd and Title Fight's Manny. In fact, I think I'm giving Title Fight more props than they deserve. Have you heard Runners In The Nerved World?The Sidekicks set 2015 afire with that record popping off so early. Not to mention, from what I've seen and heard online, their live performances are so tight. Right now, on the heels of 2015 records, Sidekicks easily put Title Fight to bed. -Renaldo Matadeen

Modern Life is War vs. Chris Gethard and Mikey Erg

Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm the world's biggest Modern Life Is War fan. But they do have that one album, Witness, that I like a lot. And that song, "D.E.A.D.R.A.M.O.N.E.S.," it's a real good one. And they don't play too often, so seeing them at Fest is something you should probably do. I mean, Beach Slang will be here next year, and as exciting as Mikey Erg and Chris Gethard covering The Smiths sounds, it would mean having to listen to Smiths songs, and that's just a bridge too far. -Adam Eisenberg

Oh, Modern Life is War? That's like, that political band that sings about how you should be depressed because the world is the way it is, right? Ha. That ain't nothin. You want to talk about depression? Hooo boy! Chris Gethard is so depressed that he does an entire stand up act about suicide! You won't see that on Starsearch. Now, get this, he's upping the ante ten-fold by doing all Morrissey covers- that's right, Gethard is covering the guy who made an entire career out of being sad because he couldn't tell what day of the week it is! Then, get this: Mikey Erg is backing him for the entire set. Mikey Erg- the guy that was too heavy for even Against Me!-and they put chopped off dicks on their album covers! Frankly, a black hole might develop due the level of morbidity at this set, which will then destroy the entire planet in a cold, crushing, cacophony. So, the show is likely a one-time thing. This is the must see set at Fest. -John Gentile

PEARS vs. Meatwave

Something about following PEARS the past year feels like watching the burgeoning of the next big punk rock band. Behind the manic charisma of frontman Zach Quinn and their Descendents-meets-old school hardcore energy, they’ve caught on like flame to gasoline and stand to only burn bigger and hotter. Meat Wave are another band deservedly blazing a trail for themselves, but c’mon -- PEARS is the kind of band made for seeing at the Fest. I guarantee they will be one of the most talked about sets this year. If you miss it you will be forever sad. -Mitch Paglia

As a vegetarian, I will pick pears over a wave of meat any day. Yet, I can make an exception when it comes to Meat Wave. The band's brand of wiry noise rock fused with post hardcore leaning punk is enough to get the adrenaline soaring (which will be a blessing to those of who suffering from Fest fatigue). Meat Wave's music also has a darker sheen, an aspect that is all too absent in many of the other Fest bands. Add that to the fact that they're fresh off their great new album, Delusion Moon, and you've got a can't miss act. -Keenan Novi

Jeff Rosenstock vs. Crusades

Have you ever really looked deep into the eyes of Jeff and John of the Jeff Rosenstock band? You will see the black fire of torment and disgust. And yet, while we all might have such a flame, it burns hotter than a thousand suns for these two- a cauldron that drives them ever forward, like ageless specters, forced by this ancient drive to spit out such pragmatic assessment of the universe, transmuted into a form of party music, that is tragic, comic, and satyric. When the ancient Greeks called out in vain to decadent Dionysus, begging for a thing called "purpose," he was moved, but not for 2,700 years, whence he finally cast down Rosenstock and DeDomenici to this Early plane, who at their FEST appearance, will render unto you the one true comprehension of this existence. Oh, also, I believe Crusades will be playing 12 or so pop-punk songs. I hear they are"peppy."-John Gentile

Did Jeff Rosenstock compose an entire album about how evil-religion is? No. Crusades did. Did Jeff Rosenstock set such an album to some of the best gravelly pop-punk in the world? No. Crusades did. Did Jeff Rosenstock spell his band name with a "V" instead of a "U" when a "U" was clearly the more appropriate choice? (Not sure about this one.) Anyways, Crusades are what FEST is all about. This set will be magic. -Dawn O'Loughlin

War on Women vs. Teenage Bottlerocket

If I were you, I’d definitely go to the War On Women show. Based on their amazing album that came out this year and their great performance on The Chris Gethard Show, this is a hardcore show I would not want to miss. For those who want a crazy night of moshing and/or circle pits, I would bet that you’ll get all of that and more when War on Women will get on stage. -Ricky Frankel

Thrashy, in-your-face punk rock is fun and all but sometimes you want some fun pop punk to bounce around and whoa-oh to. Teenage Bottlerocket have got you covered there. These dudes are ready to melt your face off and are amped as hell since they've been supporting their latest Rise Records release Tales From Wyoming. -Brittany Strummer

Mikey Erg vs. Banner Pilot

I understand that Mikey Erg is in almost every band at Fest but wouldn’t you like to see the punk troubadour in a solo performance where you can witness his punk rock brilliance in its raw and purest form? Plus this man is well on his way to being a TV star with his work on The Chris Gethard show. Take advantage of the chance to be one of the people that can say “I saw Mikey Erg way back when”. -Brittany Strummer

Over their career, Banner Pilot has only gotten better with age. Minneapolis’s best (uh oh) punk band put on a hell of a live show. Their sound fits the Fat Wreck mold, but is uniquely theirs. Few bands pull off the same level of craft, heartache and brutal honesty as Banner Pilot. Once you factor in their giant anthemic hooks, forget about it. This ain’t your grandma’s Midwestern punk. In terms of scheduling conflicts, come on, this one is a no brainer. -Nick Poyner

Night Birds vs. Chris Gethard

Right, so there's Chris Gethard whose "comedy" focuses on how depressed he is and suicide… yeah… he's… he's a real… a real barrel of laughs… ahem OR there's Night Birds, who rock out like Agent Orange and the Dead Kennedys rumbling in the Thunder Dome, who just put out the best record of their career, who blast out riffs so bangin' that your IQ will raise by 17 points during their gig, who are the living embodiment of the supernal force that is PUNK ROCK. HAIL! So, when making a choice on this one, I guess you just have to stand in front of the mirror, take a good hard at yourself, and ask, "do I hate myself and subconsciously want to punish this fleshy form?" If the answer is no, Night Birds is a yes. -John Gentile

I'll be honest, this particular conflict is tearing me apart. Like, really, really tearing me apart, and I could easily make a case for Chris Gethard or Night Birds. But 51 percent of me says Gethard, and here's why: Night Birds get in a van and comes to my town from time to time, and Chris Gethard does not. In fact, Chris Gethard does things like get parts in movies and TV shows you've actually seen. He goes on talk shows you actually watch, and in a just world, he'll eventually be widely known as America's greatest comedian. Don't you want to say you saw him in some crappy little bar, in some crappy little town, way back when? I know I do. -Adam Eisenberg

Cayetana vs. Spaynard

Cayetana's recorded output has a slightly shambled quality, not enough to be distracting, but noticeable enough to add a degree of relatability to the music (also, it pairs well with their endearing lyrics). Live, however, the band is far from amateur hour. They can pull off the slower points with the same tight control they apply to the harder moments, transitioning between the two without breaking a sweat. Much like Swearin' and Jeff Rosenstock, they can blur the line between indie rock and punk while maintaining a confessional nature. This band puts muscle behind their sentiments.-Keenan Novi

Using MATLAB, Autocad, and my self-designed Hubert5000, I have quantitatively determined that Spraynard will be your superior listening option for FEST, with Spraynard generating 89.4 Enjunits, and Cayetana only generating 83.9 Enjunits, factoring in for a standard deviation of only 2.2 Enjunits. (Enjunits, devived from "Enjoyment Units," are the metric that I developed for determining how much fun you will experience, using quality of music, performance accuracy, punctuality, and volume as standard variables). Therefore, the only rational and informed decision is to see Spraynard at FEST this year. -Hubert W. Eggleton

FOUR-WAY BATTLE FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT: Andrew WK vs. Antarctigo Vespucci vs. Copyrights vs. Direct Hit!

The god of partying is headlining the best party there is, and you're actually considering seeing something else? I certainly won't take anything away from the likes of Antartigo Vespucci, The Copyrights or Direct Hit!, but let's be honest -- they were all here last year and they'll all be here again next year. The same can't be said for Andrew W.K.. It took 14 years to get him here, and it's incumbent on you, noble Fester, to show him what he's been missing. -Adam Eisenberg

The famed Antarctigo Vespucci are playing few dates this year. One of them is at the Fest. How could you not want to check these guys out? They have everything. One Jeff Rosenstock. One Chris Farren. One of the best records of the year. And if you’re thinking these two incredibly talented solo acts coming together would only be better if they had, say, a member of the Gaslight Anthem joining them, then you’re in luck! They do! Frankly, how could you resist this set? -Nick Poyner

What? You need convincing? It’s not like Carbondale, IL’s dirtiest haven’t been drilling your head with sugar sweet melodies and hardcore rhythms for over a decade! These miscreants have been throwing out some of the best pop-punk for ages, and everyone that doesn’t check The Copyrights out is Wrong. -Mark Little

It’s impossible not to have a great time at a Direct Hit! show. They are band that I see every time they come out to Los Angeles. I have a feeling that their show at Fest this year will be nothing short of epic. Sure they’ll probably plays songs from Domesplitter and the mind-blowingly awesome Brainless God, but I’d also would be excited and interested in seeing if they play any of the lesser known songs from More of the Same: The Satanic Singles. I’m sure “FUCK YOU!” and “FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!” will shouted a ton of times and many jokes will be made on stage. Don’t miss this show. -Ricky Frankel